Body Image, Celebrate, Fitness, Health, Love, Mojo, Passion, Self Confidence, Self Love

It’s time to celebrate our 1st Birthday!

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday Dear Blog! Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday Blog!

I can’t believe that it has been a year since I started putting my journey into words and sharing it with you all! Wow! What a ride it has been!!!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, because if it wasn’t for you (yes, you!) reading this; allowing my words to inspire you into action; this day may never have come.

I have been blown away by all of you – each and every one of you – from all over the world who have taken the time to read this!! From as close as Tasmania across the ocean to Hong Kong to Russia; to Turkey the UK to the USA to New Zealand to Bali to Singapore to Denmark and Italy (just to name a few) – each and every single one of you, has continued to read each post, sign up for notifications and share your thoughts with me – Thank you!

Your support, comments, questions and encouragement to continue to share my journey, has inspired me!

 So a few reflections, from the past 12 months:

  • It’s ok that I don’t know it all – Evolution is part of life and I love learning and will continue to share it with you all – I don’t know all the answers and never will – that is the fun part – I love researching and will always aim to ensure that I do my best to answer any questions you may have x
  • Play MORE! Do something you love – that makes you smile – don’t wait until one day – how about this weekend? What is that one thing that you can do, that you haven’t done yet – Mmmm standup padding boarding? Or Tell that person that you have a crush on them? Or go to a theme park? Or Enter that standup comedy competition? Possibilities are endless!
  • Balance is your friend – Say NO to the things you don’t want to do – yes people may get upset or be disappointed but you need to give yourself time too – rest – slow down – sleep in…..
  • No one has the right to treat you badly and that includes you – So STOP IT! Stop punishing yourself; verbally; physically and mentally. Be gentle today – say to yourself – Great job! Or You are beautiful!
  • Forgive – Forgive – Forgive – it doesn’t mean that you excuse the behaviour or what happened or what was said – it is time to move on and protect yourself – peace and forgiveness are wonderful gifts.
  • Brave! If you don’t take the leap and step up now – no one else will do it for you.
  • Your body is a temple and the only one you have – so stop abusing it and start loving it!
  • Be willing to take care of you first – than others – it is NOT selfish it is essential! 

To continue the celebration in style as I can’t share birthday cake with, I wanted to share instead some of the photos from my recent shoot! YES – they have finally arrived and I am so so so excited by them!!

Next step in my website!

(Massive thank you to everyone at The PhotoStudio in Glebe Sydney – they are incredible – I felt like a star! So check out their website for more details; http://thephotostudio.com.au/) as I hope it inspires you to do something extra special like this for yourself soon too. (ps. I love that when I am 90, I will look back and say – Damn you were hot!!)

Final note – Thank you once more – I am so blessed to have had this opportunity and I can’t wait to continue our journey together into the 2nd year of Fabulousness Unleashed, the next big leap – it’s been one hell of a ride so far!

This 2nd year…..I am determined it is going to ROCK! Keep an eye out for the next post….

Can’t wait to see you all there! Love Little Miss Fabulousness  xxx

      18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle 18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle 18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle 18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle 18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle 18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle 18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle 18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle

Choice, FOCUS, Happiness, Mojo, Passion, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

What happens when you can’t shift gears..you hit the wall of course………….which slaps you with will I ever be enough?

 Dear PAST….meet the present – smack…you hit the wall….yes…..this is me stuck….banging my head against the wall…so not pretty…

So for days I have been tossing up whether or not to post this one…not a great head space at present, despite just having 10 days away….however I realised that sharing my journey with you all….it is not always going to be sparkles; rainbows and glasses of wine….it is tough at times to break through….me kicking my own butt (not pretty….and very unflattering…not lady like at all)…however if by sharing this in the now moment, helps you to get out of your own space quicker then it is worth it 🙂

So……the past is always there…you can’t change it….you can’t hide from it….although, you can pack it away in a box; yet somehow that box, always manages to open at the most inconvenient time…however I have learnt you can change your response to it..the past that is..not the box; it’s just a box 🙂

As mentioned previously, to stop living in the past….we need to acknowledge it and move on; right? Move forward….forgive…..step up….get over it…..grow wings and fly!!!! It’s your time to soar….it is your time to shine….blah…blah….blah……yet the other morning I woke up and felt like I had hit the wall or the wall hit me…..either way, my entire body ached all over…it hurt to breathe….every part of me was in a space of confusion…disappointment….rejection…..anger………I kept trying to shift the gears…..get up…..get dressed…..I listened to my morning meditation MP3……not even reverse gear was going to get me out of bed and I just kept getting more and more frustrated, pissed off and if one more little positive mantra came into my head…look out!!!!!!! oh and just shut the “F” up!! (told you it wasn’t pretty; excuse my french)

Now this is not normal for me….Remember nice girls don’t get angry and they don’t let the old habits kick back in….they smash it….they push through it…..nahhhh that wasn’t happening today……

THE PAUSE BUTTON…..time to press

So how do you shift gears, when all it feels like you keep doing, is hitting the wall?….shifting gears or even finding reverse for that matter….part of me could do it in my sleep; the other part of me says listen to your body…… I am exhausted and just need to put the brakes on…..because the ‘little voice” in my head is saying…….“Does it matter what I do or where I go or how I live my life or how much I love myself” (because it has been the key so far)….will there ever be anyone who will love and accept me….. just for me? In the famous words of Mr Darcy……”just as she is”.

Then the guilt kicks in…I don’t have any right to think like this – this is not a serious issue of the world….be grateful that you are alive! But then I know…..I know that today, is just going to be a day, when shifting gears…moving…being fabulous…isn’t going to happen.

What the hell is going on in my head????? I don’t know……nothing was working…..

LOVE 

Self love – is something that I value and cherish so much more now then ever before; yet this week…..no matter the process….the jog…..the adventure of the past 10 days…the people….the places…I had this feeling of empty….I had run out of fuel….there was no love…..no feeling…no nothing….love had packed it’s suitcase and taking a one way flight out of here! and you know what…I don’t blame it. 

I had been surrounded by love in so many forms over the last few months/years; I felt so blessed however waking up this particular morning…of all mornings….it felt like during the night some nasty little demon creature from some fairytale land came and took my mojo; my self love; my belief that someone out there is looking for me.

So the question…..will I ever be enough for him to find me?

PROCESSING the gear shift….

A wise friend has a saying……“The world has enough of you, now this is your time”……So for the first time ever…..I gave my self permission to do nothing….(WTF…I know a few of you are saying!!!)….well….actually…..I rolled over and went back to sleep (I had the day off work – thank god!)…..I turned my phone on to silent….and slept….

then I woke again, I jumped on Facebook……then fell asleep again…..

Then….I woke up….then I slept…..because you know what….exhaustion….not listening to my body……not standing up for me…..not giving myself time to dream; to just be and enjoy the world around me….I got lost…..I fell over….I was tired….I felt stuck….I was having an off day; no analyzing….just an off day…….pure & simple. 

AND you know what….for the first time ever….I gave myself permission….that it was ok….that IT IS ok…..I don’t have to be everything to everyone all the time. I have admitted before that I am a perfectionist ..we know this….good lord if you knew how many times I write and re-write my blog posts before I publish them…. you would think I have OCD! 

So I slept….because in my exhaustion; I was unreasonable…..because that burning question of “Will I ever be enough for someone?”…my past – slammed straight smack into my present. Why? Because I have been avoiding it……because up until now I didn’t love me so how could anyone else? 

I felt guilt.

I notice while I was away, that as women, we have this inbuilt button for guilt…..we feel guilty for even mentioning that we take time out or that I need a break or switching our phones to silent or choosing to step away from tradition or even be quirky…or live with someone and not get married or have only 1 child or want to have a child-free day or that we want a partner to share our life with…..there is almost a silent judgement or perhaps it is an envy that another woman can say it and we can’t?

Image

I know we want it all and we can have it all, however the balance is so vital. Then if someone does something for us we feel guilty….and guilt can be and look like anything. I felt guilty for having an “off” day…..but you know what……so what!! Is it worth the headache???

WHAT IS NEXT….

So what is next…why was I not enough….why was I feeling like no one would ever chose me….I know what I want in a partner…I am more clear now then ever before…so why hasn’t he found me yet??? I am almost 34…when is it my turn….I felt so guilty for looking at all of the families and couples around me, watching them create their lives each day…with love…laughter..warmth….acceptance….wanting to share my life with someone; they all have someone and I don’t. I felt so guilty for even thinking it, that I had pushed it so far down into myself that my body’s response was aching pain.

I have read it a thousand times….be the right partner…live life; enjoy it and the rest will fall into place…..and I finally get it 🙂

So for that day….my “off” day….I needed a release….I recognised that I needed something…..hehehehheeh and I then realised that the “old pattern” in me, would of reached for the food….the ice cream….(for some of you, it will be a glass of wine or beer) to stop the question….the emotion. Today the reality of my shifting gears was went from no action/reaction…to ACTION.time for a Personal Training Session!

1st Action – sleep….rejuvenate!

2nd Action – movement – reverse or forward – side to side – whatever….just move. 

You know what….so what…I hit the wall….it hurt….I have always had choice in my life…I just was so afraid that I didn’t know where to start. By the time I went to bed that night (midnight I was able switch my brain off!) I had a choice – I have a choice – I can climb over that bloody wall or smash through it; either way…..

DON”T STAND THERE GIVING YOURSELF A HEADACHE…..it’s not worth it.

Instead RELEASE the guilt…it takes up way too much valuable space.

Ps. I had a massage and a facial last night……no guilt 🙂

Pss. I have a date in a few days time – action….movement forward- excitement 🙂

Image

Choice, Determination, FOCUS, Happiness, Life style, Mojo, Passion, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation, Wonder Woman

Question Time…..are you a PP or an SP?

THE PAST

Are you like me? Do you find yourself agreeing with others to just make them happy? Do you keep your opinion to yourself as you don’t want to rock the boat? Have you been being, what you think others want you to be; instead of who you really are? Or is it more about when you begin to evolve and be more confident, people don’t know what to do in response and continually try to dismiss your way of thinking…so best you just keep quiet?
So then it begs the question….Are you a People Pleaser?
I don’t know about you; this little lady can trace her People-Pleasing behaviour all the way back to her childhood….from a little girl to a teenager to a young woman…not just personal life; even in my working career (bullying for example)….I wanted to make sure everyone was happy in some form or another. I was so concerned about them that for some unknown reason, I would take on the entire responsibility because as I discovered in the last few years, deep down the little girl in me was so worried that if I didn’t agree with you or fix you or make things better that you wouldn’t like me….because you would discover that I was otherwise boring and had nothing to offer…….

THE PROCESS….how to find the balance???????

Again just for a moment (because lets not get caught up in the story)….let us go back to the self doubt talking and justification being  “I can’t have the life I want….it is not possible…if the past keeps telling the story…why would now be any different?”

When you realise that you have been doing things one way for so long it is a bit of a shock to realise what a jerk you have been and who the hell thinks like this???
Well me…..I did….I did thought like this for years and it is only now that I am comfortable with pleasing me, do I realise how often I did this….with inner turmoil…only to discover that what I did actually had a name….and that People Pleasing Syndrome really exists!
I acknowledge that considering the needs of others; being generous and a willingness to help, are admirable traits however when you have low self esteem, this is something that you do for others with ease as you feel guilty and selfish when you choose to do something/anything for yourself. You believe that you are not important enough & with the high standard of perfection running the process for yourself…wow…it is so hard to not do & say what you can to ensure everyone is happy all the time ….so this is nothing new for those of us who realise we are people pleasers…..it is however a destructive way to operate your life; from within yourself and to external relationships with others.  Plus here is a little secret……(come closer) if I focused on making everyone else happy I didn’t have to acknowledge that my own life didn’t work……there you go….another ouch. Again not all of you will have this experience, this is just how it was for me 😦 not pretty……..
However when you decide to shift into a new plane of existence….people are shocked and some even rebel against you; however I ask you to take a close look at those in your life who have your best interest at heart and those who don’t? as the ones that don’t, operate in ‘drama cycle’ and those that do have learnt to be self pleasers and make the balance work.
I can tell you right now; it is exhausting pleasing everyone all the time! It is actually not possible and you are wasting your valuable energy on this trait….and serving no one nor being helpful to you or others….no wonder I was tired and grumpy all the time (pretending I was fine remember 😉 ). From my transformational work this year, I started listening to my body and hence I started listening to the world around me again….something I haven’t done in years. Actually the last time I did this was when I shifted my comfort zone and move to a foreign country…..there you meet people who out of no where want to do things for you for no reason & that’s ok….. and you find that like minded people are attracted into your life more than ever before because you have a different way of being; your radar is on a different wave length and your friends become your family & they encourage you to put yourself first – what a novel idea – for me, these people hold a special place in my heart and continue to love me even with oceans between and I guess this post will shock a few of them…..because I fell back into old patterns…I recognise this now…hence this post.
Time to dance to the music instead of just listening & when you find yourself in the cycle……just stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!! STOP IT!!! 
If I have learnt anything over the last few years of my life; (let me tell you that I have only just started putting it in to practice; so I am no expert!) that if people have the time to focus on you; your life and what you are doing or aren’t doing according to them including what is wrong with your life in their eyes, that is their story; their time & energy….it is easier for them to focus on you then deal with themselves….and hey….why are you so worried about what they think? THIS IS YOUR LIFE; live it the way you desire…..keep trying things until you find what works for you, your value and worth isn’t dependant on others opinions; yet we still place so much value in it as a society.
Oh and one of my favourite songs to listen too, so that I remind myself that it is ok to be me……is the song by Vanessa Amorosi – “This is who I am” – you know the chorus………..
“Well it’s alright to be myself
now I’ve learnt to stand
well it’s ok to be just who I am
I spent years really hating me
longing to be friends, now I hope that you can understand
This is who I am”
NEXT STEP….
So the question to myself at the time of the move and to you now is this……What is it costing you….by denying yourself what you really want – the balance between the pleasing self and others is possible…there is no cure or magic wand for this one either my friends….I am not the first person to write about this and I won’t be the last….however the more we remind each other that we are important as individuals and what we contribute to the world and that it is ok to take time out for yourself; we can improve the balance.
So whether that balance for you will start with a pamper session;  a coffee by yourself in a café just watching the world go by; 30 minutes alone time anywhere for that matter….a bath….a run or a session with a life coach/psychologist/or write a letter to express what you need so you can see it for yourself.
For me…what I say yes to now with no explanation or hesitation to say no to others so that I can have this ……. is solo time; a coffee by the water…on my own 🙂 pure bliss…oh & no guilt!!!

So my next lesson to add;

1.   Compassion for self

2.   Connection with self

3.   Confidence to be self

4.   Forgive self and others

5.   Gratitude with appreciation
6.   Learn to say No and Yes when it works for you
The next few bricks have been laid in my yellow brick road….and funnily enough, when I stopped pleasing others all the time and starting pleasing myself….new bricks just appeared in the road for which I am grateful for 🙂  
So again I say….it is a beautiful thing considering the needs of others; being generous and a willingness to help, as I said that are all admirable traits & something I admire in myself and others however the balance is crucial……so what are you going to do about it…..are you going to stay a PP or move upwards towards the light to being an SP? or are you going to stay on the fence??????
I can tell you, it is much more bright & loads more fun on the flip side 😉
Love Oprah :)
Love Oprah 🙂

This is my little mantra –

Sexy is not a size; every Calorie is not a war; your Body is not a battleground & your Value is not measured by kgs!

“I am beautiful and worthy just as I am; because I am.