Choice, Emotional Wellbeing, Mental Health, Self awareness, Self Love, Transformation

Why forgiveness is actually good for your weight loss journey

I held onto fear and anger for so long, I didn’t realise that I was allowing myself to swallow poision…..

Old Pattern

For so long I felt like I didn’t deserve to have what I wanted – after all I was broken, I was flawed, there was something wrong with me, I didn’t look like other girls, I wasn’t as smart or as beautiful as them. My story was that as a little girl, if my dad didn’t want or accept me (the one man that should as after all I was his child) then why would anyone else want and accept – if I was perfect – or if I had been a boy – maybe it would have been different.

I spent so long trying to get other people to like me; love me; accept me – for years…..I kept trying to be everything to everyone – to be someone else – to be a people pleaser – to be anyone but me – the poision was not only the food that I was using to push down my emotions – it was the words I was saying to myself.

Then one day I woke up and realised that this isn’t the life I want – and who the fuck am I?

New Pattern

One of the very first lessons in my transformational weight loss journey was FORGIVENESS.

It was also one of the hardest- I went through and wrote out every name of every person that I was upset at or angry at or who had hurt me.  I acknowledged it – released it – accepted that I couldn’t change the past.

Then I realised that it isn’t about everyone else.

If I didn’t forgive me, how can I stand in this world and make a difference?

I am who I am – unique – extraordinary – lushious – beautiful – silly – caring – strong – stubborn – with weaknesses and broken pieces – however that is all a part of me.
Time to forgive myself – for the self hate – the pain – the anger – what’s done is done – it is how I react to a situation, I can’t change the past.

I could however chose to put the book back on the shelf and never have the need again to open it.

FORGIVENESS

Who I am being in the world? It was time to stand up & be stronger than I was yesterday – to be responsible for me and my present & future. To be FREE to be ME – Because what you think of me is none of my business. And yes, forgiveness is something I practice everyday – with loads more compassion now 😉

So I ask you now-
How long will you do it to yourself?
How long will you continue to beat yourself up?
How long will you hold onto the past, the hurt, the pain?

STOP IT!
Let it go!
Forgive yourself – give yourself permission to forgive yourself,
it really is time…
That’s right…forgive yourself…Now xxx

Ps. I will be releasing a new meditation for sale on self forgiveness in December xx

“The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.” (3)

Body Love, Emotional Wellbeing, Life style, Passion, Self awareness, Self Confidence, Transformation

Isn’t it time to say FUCK IT I AM WORTH MORE!?!

Last week I shared on my private page the following post and the breakthrough I had doing the work with some incredible women who I have had the pleasure of seeing transform!

I realised that it was time for me to rise up – and how much has changed AND what else I need to do to keep moving forward to continue to speak up to ensure that Self Love, Body Confidence and Self Acceptance is present in us all. 

Would love to hear your thoughts below x Thank you again for your continued support 🙂

Hehehe I love how comfortable and confident I feel theses days….corporate wear or my NYPD hoodie…it is a small thing to some…but when you have spent most of your adult life uncomfortable in your skin….comparing yourself to everyone. …feeling like you don’t belong or not good enough…this is a whole new experience for me.

Being comfortable in my own skin, no matter what!
Being comfortable in my own skin, no matter what!

My transformation over the last 2 yrs has taken time, multiple breakdowns, breakthroughs & questions. I have learnt that the more I speak up about Self Love, Body Confidence and Acceptance…..if MY doing this, I inspire 1 person to make a change for their life….for themselves…then it is worth it sharing, being vulnerable and rising up to a new level.

So I plan do so…to continue to do so as much as I can to inspire change of how we as women view ourselves. I want you to be able to look in the mirror and love and accept the beautiful woman looking back at you!

Isn’t it time to say FUCK IT I AM WORTH MORE!?!

Through the power of social media, my blog, soon to be released website, coaching and meditations (even a seminar?) I want to shift the focus of how we think about ourselves so that we can create the space in our lives to live it to the fullest…..we deserve that….you deserve that.

On the weekend, I broke a board with my bare hand and I made a promise to stop holding myself back and make a bigger impact in the world…to rise up for women to have the freedom for Self Worth, Self Love and Acceptance.

I want to continue being the best version of me…even when things are tough, it is not easy but I realised that it makes me want to continue to thrive…..to make a difference in how we value ourselves and who we are in this world.

So if my constant posting of positive and inspirational pictures, memos and learnings makes you uncomfortable or upset…great I am glad because I have given you something to think about…..plus if you really don’t like it then unfriend me…because I plan to be posting a hell of a lot more…here and at Fabulousness Unleashed!

Otherwise please come with me…help me in making an impact for more women to feel comfortable and confident in who they are…it is time to rise up above the bullshit stories we have been told, fed and tell ourselves.

It’s time to unleash yourself to the world…..are you ready? X

The freedom of being comfortable in my own skin is an amazing feeling!
The freedom of being comfortable in my own skin is an amazing feeling!
Celebrate, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Mental Health, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

Jumping for Joy!

About 18months ago someone asked me; Can you give yourself permission to feel the joy in the moment???!!!??

My immediate reaction was; No!

So now I am asking you……..Can you give yourself permission to feel the JOY in the moment???!!!??

Joy

Mmm..What is JOY?

It is defined as; “a feeling of great pleasure and happiness”. Other words include – delight; bliss; rapture; glee;  and triumph!

Yet, at the time….I couldn’t understand, WHY I couldn’t I give myself permission to feel it? Through out my life (& it has become more apparent since I started my journey of transformation), I have noticed that as human beings, we stop or don’t allow ourselves, to feel certain things/emotions/reactions???

So I became to wonder…..when did we start thinking that we had to have other people’s permission to feel or NOT to feel?

So  today, I wanted to share with you some tips to explore this further for yourself – (10 mins tops I promise!)

  • Awareness is the first step….

Feelings…Emotions…Expression…Reaction…Awareness.

Acknowledging how we feel is important for our everyday living – our emotions/thoughts have a massive impact on our lives – yet we are so bound by a ‘system’ that says we all have to ‘be a certain way’. And while it is important to respect others; when did we stop respecting ourselves.

I realised that holding back and allowing the ‘negative’ thoughts/emotions; was only damaging me – no one else – because no one actually knew how I felt plus it reflected in my body (weight – insomnia – anxiety) – and in my life!

So start to just notice the emotions (now I am not saying burst out with everything all at once…no one wants a hole in the wall, should you explode)…..but just at lunchtime today…take some time to check in with yourself – ask the question; “How am I feeling right now?

  • Listen…

Next – just notice where that feeling is in your body….listen to that feeling….be aware of it…what happened today that you just dismissed? Start to listen to your self as the incredible human being that you are…..you are important…

  • Acknowledge it…

Regardless of the emotion (anger; love; sadness; joy) just allow it to be – and then “thank” the emotion for bring to your attention where you are not giving yourself permission to feel and BE honest with you – it is not serving anyone by dismissing how you are feeling. Have you ever noticed that how emotions can spread….if you smile at someone…they can’t help but smile back at you 😉

Next step…. 

This is where you start to notice a shift – it will take time…..however for me, I noticed that when I was honest with myself and gave myself permission to feel the emotion…it didn’t take long to move on to another one (ie; if I was pissed off…feeling it and allowing it to be (or writing it down…..) made room for the next emotion…I started to notice that I felt happy more than I felt sad. That feeling both is normal…every emotion is right – we have them for a reason.

NOW I do feel JOY and I can give myself permission to FEEL it – because it isn’t as scary as I thought and it actually takes less energy to feel and acknowledge than it does to shove down with food as was my previous coping strategy!

JOY is more than happiness; pleasure; delight; bliss; rapture; glee & triumph….Joy is whatever you want it to be!

Your JOY can be allowing yourself to feel happy or giving yourself permission to love & start dating again…or JUMPING UP & DOWN when you achieve that big contract at work!!!

JOY is more than just that…or it can be as simple as that….you get to decide your reaction 🙂

ACTION…

So this weekend…take some time out of your day…(yes I know you are busy; but this is a great little exercise plus 1 hour is 4% of your day..you have time to give yourself 4% of your day!)

  • Write down all of the things that bring JOY to you……
  • Then write down all of the things that are JOY to you…..
  • Then write down all of the things that you do that STOP JOY from being in you….
  • Then start to make a plan…..Reduce the inflammation in your life and make room for JOY!

For me now….JOY is every cell in my body working together to be the best version of me – JOY is Being awesome in the moment! 

This week, I have started writing in my journal again….just a few lines every morning upon waking…..

So today…I wanted to REALLY feel JOY –

Feel the joy of the sun on my skin…

Feel the joy of a hug from someone I love….

Feel the joy of breathing air into my lungs….

Feel the joy of being alive! 

So why not now…JUMP FOR JOY – right at your computer! Make it your self-expression today – to feel your own definition of JOYjumpfor joy

I would love to know what your definition of JOY is – share below 🙂

 

Oh and at the end of the week… a few photos to celebrate Little Miss Fabulousness turning 1!

Choice, FOCUS, Health, Life style, Love, Self Confidence, Transformation

Excuses – is your wolf just wearing PJ’s??….what are you really hiding from???

excuses_b2

EXCUSES!!!
EXCUSES!!!
EXCUSES!!!

Did your mum ever say that to you as a kid – 3 times in a row; when you knew you had something to do and you hadn’t done it yet……and she asked you why not?????

Excuses.….we all have them…..good; bad; logical or not…..are EXCUSES a WOLF wearing different clothing, depending on the day?

Think about it?

Is it the most common conversation you hear…if you listen….do you hear the fear we carry around…..underlying those conversations…..is that what really stops us from operating to our full potential?

I have heard some amazing and quite creative excuses as to why someone is not worthy of having what they want……..

Then I started to wonder; it is ok to have excuses….even if we use a different word??? eg: reasons…..

And Why do we have them??

What is it that holds us back from doing the thing we know we need to do or doing the thing to avoid it?

Do we move towards the pleasure OR the pain of something due to the FEAR of the unknown?

Although I like George Washington’s quote – “It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.”

AND if you knew that by moving through your comfort zone; up to the next level, only actually took 4% more effort (which is 1 hour of your day) to reach something you truly desired…..would you do it?

If you knew that the statement of “I am just too busy” would stop you from reaching that new goal or “I don’t have enough money” – or “I have to talk to my husband”‘ could ultimately prevent you from ever really being your most incredible version of yourself…..would you stop and think about another way of doing it?

brain

I have learnt this year that it is natural that the biology of change – as we change – that we do feel uncomfortable, our limiting beliefs kick in – it keeps us from moving……what is this thing called a “limiting belief” you ask????

Well it is the belief that you create between the ages of 1 and 7 yrs old…..something happened….we decide that; that is how it is how it is going to be – our version of reality – we protect our selves…..yet – I ask you – how well are we equipped at the age of 7 to deal with the greater world outside of ourselves???

Look; I know we think we are – but it is the belief/habit that tells we are………the belief that you created as a little person….who did the best with what they had at the time – it kept you safe…..up until now that is…….

So instead of having what we want…..we sabotage to keep ourselves safe…whether that is with a diet (food); savings (spending); job (promotion); boy meets girl (relationship)…..believe me…I was an expert at Self Sabotage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK – right now, take look at the reason why you don’t have what you want…………

Is being safeplaying small – hiding behind the excuses, really going to get you the life you want???

If so, what are you going to do about it?

Well nothing….you are too busy….right??!!!

Well there is the choice to do something….time to flip them!

  • Step 1 – take a pen and a piece of paper
  • Step 2 – write down the 1 big thing you really want to achieve or do or place to go……
  • Step 3 – write down all the excuses of why you can’t have it –
  • Step 4 – keep going….keep writing……yes…that means writing more than 1 page….
  • Step 5 – read it out loud to yourself….keep reading……keep reading until all the emotion has gone out of it…you might laugh; cry; get angry….just allow yourself to feel
  • Step 6 – now – allow your mind to just write…..what is it that you really want and start to change your thoughts around it….

Can you sit there; close your eyes and really picture in your mind…..allow all of your senses in…smell it; feel it; taste it…….until that new belief makes you smile! 🙂 Now go write it down somewhere; a place where you will see it everyday – like your shower door or bathroom mirror…….

GIVE yourself permission to change…to have what you want….only you can do it …life is too short not too!!

Step up away from the fear – from the excuses!

You are worth it!EXCUSES

I have said it before – you can HAVE THE EXCUSE OR YOU CAN HAVE THE TRAINING – you can’t have both……

Training your mindset will change your life and it starts with you………..so stop using my blog as an excuse to NOT go for a walk/hug your wife/dream a little bigger/or tell someone you love them…… and JUST GO!

See you next time 😉

Ps. please share below what excuse you flipped….

Body Image, Celebrate, Choice, Determination, Fitness, FOCUS, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Mental Health, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

Spring into Soul September – 20 things to think about…….

What an incredible morning!!

I am sitting here on my balcony with the sun warming my skin before starting work……..and loving how blessed I am to do this simple action; in a peaceful; healthy city; a place where I can give myself permission to just BE 🙂

(Which now as I write this; feels like I have champagne bubbles of energy floating around me!!)

You-Are-My-Sunshine

With this sunshine moment – HELLO SPRING!!!! – It got me thinking…………..how much I have noticed of late; that as a society; we have slipped back into getting lost in the negative spirals of things that aren’t in our control……

LIKE WHAT?? Well, Why someone doesn’t listen the way we want them too? OR How rude someone was to you in that line while waiting to get coffee!!?? OR Why is it always so hard to get what you want?? OR  Why after trying so hard for so long; am I not losing weight? OR Why is the service so slow? OR Why is it so expensive to buy fuel???

Theses are just some of the things I have heard of late…..Is it that we have simply just forgotten or is it that we have stopped acknowledging the beautiful world around us???? When did we start taking the most amazing gift of simply just living; of simply just being – just being us – you – me 🙂 – for granted?????

With so any different ways to “connect”with others happening at any one time…….do we really ‘connect’? I have asked this many times over the last few months, as it feels like we have lost the ability to just connect in general not just to everyone else; but to ourselves…..and sadly we have over the last few weeks lost so many incredible souls from this world and it made me wonder………

When did we stop nourishing ourselves and when it become at a cost of losing ourselves?

THE GIFT OF BEING ALIVE!

As most of you know my journey to loving myself has been a rocky road; a roller coaster and endless rabbit holes tumbles…..

So many emotions; AHH moments; changes; breakdowns and triumphs! Looking back now; I LOVE all of it – I realised that it is all part of the journey….it is called BEING ALIVE! 

Lately though there has been a significant shift to a world of contentment and peace….. of incredible gratitude to my mind and my body on how far I have really come. With so much going on in the world; I find now that I no longer want to turn on the news and see more destruction or war……..I know that I need to be more present in what I do and the impact that can have…I want to make a difference in the world; in how women see each other; how they see themselves; within themselves.

And that starts with me…I am your reflection….I know that there is a lot more to unpack; however the fear has been replaced by adventure and a balance that I haven’t had in a long time – nourishing myself in every aspect not just in food or time or money or things.

So here are a few little things that have nourished my soul; my mind and hence my body over the winter months….so a little thank you my body and my mind.

Thank you to you for reading; as I wanted to share theses with you; to remind you to love the body you are in – no matter your age; shape; gender or position in the world.

Loving you – starts within you 🙂 

  1. BREATHE!! Stop and take some deep breaths – right now – really breathe…..it is amazing 🙂 plus you will instantly feel better!
  2. BE grateful – spend 5 minutes each morning just saying “Thank you” to your body 🙂
  3. Celebrate all that your body can do!!! Work on a plan to achieve new levels of movement – whether it is a new yoga pose or jogging for an extra minute or doing an extra pushup or walking a different route to view a new part of your city.
  4. REMOVE CAN”T & TRY from your vocabulary – You’ve got this – shift your mindset….one piece at a time –  you have 1 life 🙂 enjoy it!
  5. Acknowledge your own uniqueness – there is no one else in the world who is you or like you! HOW FREAKIN’ awesome is that!
  6. Celebrate your success – share your wins – don’t be shy – how will anyone know if you don’t tell them 🙂
  7. Tell the little voice in your head to get off at the next bus stop; YOU ARE YOU – defined by your personality; gifts and contribution to the world not your weight on a scale; your shoe size or dress size! 
  8. Do something for yourself that feels good – for me this week – a massage 🙂 oh and giving myself permission to sleep in!
  9. STOP with the excuses – write down everything that is holding you back – and then read it out loud until you laugh at yourself – change the way you view the excuses – you just might surprise yourself.
  10. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up; inspire you and have your back (by the way; if people try to pull you down; you are already above their level!)
  11. When looking at FACEBOOK or Magazine – remember what you are seeing is someone’s end results – you haven’t seen the years of training; nutrition nor do you have that person’s genetics (and yes I know that it is also photo shopped as well)- so STOP COMPARING! 
  12. Recently I had a photo shoot (it was incredible!!!) I was very clear that I didn’t want any changes made – however I saw my scars and stetchmarks on my breasts in one of the photos and asked if that could be ‘touched up’ – the photographer smile at me and said “Every lady I have shot, has stretchmarks; it is a beautiful thing how women’s bodies adapt – so I can but then it is not  you”.
  13. I have discovered the fun in exercise and movement again – YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  and since I have found it again – I noticed that – it is trueno one is actually looking at me while I am exercising (OK; yes my instructor is – she is great and is helping me modify in certain moves so I still get a work out but don’t aggravate my lower back) – everyone is focused on their workout – their results – SO who cares how much you sweat??!!!- it means that your body is working and moving!! Thank you body for working and moving 🙂
  14. Stop turning to food to validate your beautiful self! I know for me; for so long food was used as a reward; (childhood) So why not find something else to reward yourself with; for being you – like a sleep in or a good laugh at a movie with a friend or some quiet time outside in the sun – I also want to you look at why the food is the comfort in the first place??
  15. Give yourself permission to slow down live in the moment instead of jumping ahead……..(you know the old saying – fit your own oxygen mask first before helping others)
  16. Start valuing you; for you! – When did stop trusting your choice – your intuition???? Write a list and work on one thing a day or a week if it is too much…..trust in your choice – you chose that reaction – take responsibility for it – STARTING RIGHT NOW!
  17. Drink more water – Are you serious – YES I AM GOD DAMN SERIOUS!! Your body is made up of 75% water – replenish it – you won’t want to grab for the other things as much…..like the coke or the ice coffee or the wine….
  18. Do something for a stranger – something little – like clean out your clothes or items in the house you don’t use anymore….give them to people who needs them – offer to walk your neighbour’s dog – For me – every few weeks I pick a bin in my apartment complex and I put it out for that person 🙂
  19. Write a card or a letter to someone to acknowledge who they are for you – win – win – as you both feel amazing – or offer to babysit for a friend so her and her husband can have a date night……
  20. Play your favourite music – DANCE – LAUGH – BE A SILLY JELLYBEAN – SING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS! I danced around the house the other day just because and GOD it felt great! 🙂
  21. BONUS POINT – When you look in the mirror today – SMILE – that beautiful; gorgeous; sexy; incredible beingSHE IS AMAZING and all she has wanted you to do is to love and accept her just as she is and once you stop fighting with her……….you will be amaze at what starts to flow into you life……..

Please share below what you are going to do today to nourish yourself….. 🙂  I would love to know 🙂

bodylove

Next week’s postExcuses – a sheep in wolf’s clothing or a Wolf wearing PJ’s??….what are you really hiding???

Body Image, Choice, Determination, FOCUS, Happiness, Health, Life style, Mental Health, Passion, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

red_riding_hood_1_by_costurero_real-d3abg62

I don’t know about you…….but I can’t stand it when people tell me not to panic!

Really – the last word you hear is ‘panic’ and telling me not to do something – well the rebel in me is going to want to do it because you said not too!

When we Panic – we don’t make rationale or logical decisions…… Panic is an emotional response – flight or fight.

Right now – the fight in me has gone…. and I just want to fly – because you know what…it looks like heaps more fun!

A beautiful Soul Sister said to me the other night – “It is Ok to want to run to your destination as long as it is you running towards your desire and not away from what you don’t want to deal with”. 

Sometimes you know you are on the right path; yet in the very pit of your stomach; you realise that you can’t be everything to everyone and I am choosing not to stay this way to please others. And has I have said many times before; If you aren’t comfortable or like who I am then that is OK too – you can leave at anytime – the door is to your right….just don’t block the traffic.

Lessons from Fairy Tales….

In the past we had Fairy Tales or Fables,  to help us learn how to guide our morale compass. The Big Bad Wolf in Little Red Riding Hood – don’t talk to strangers……(or was he misunderstood over the years and was craving acceptance to be loved for who he was…??) .

How about Little Red Riding Hood; could the Wolf have been her spirit….her internal dialogue? When she wanted to hide from the world…or maybe run free….she turned into the Wolf……????

Everyone has their story and it depends at the time of your exposure to it – how you relate to it.

Recently; I saw the adaption of Maleficent; the Evil Witch in Sleeping Beauty – this version showed that she was misunderstood – a broken heart; a burnt soul; wings of self expression destroyed – it takes a lot to heal that and yes – it was her reaction to the betrayal that created her new persona – yet she also realised that she could control her response – change her reaction and heal……she also, through the learning from another;  was able to uncover what love really meant for her.

So you realise too that; in all of theses stories – power is not evil – you can be calm and feel powerfully grounded – even if you are wrong; you can acknowledge this – grow from it.  Then we learn that when you push against your soul connection and force it to be something it is not -or to look a certain way or to be a certain way that doesn’t align with you; that is when you are turning against your inner desires and things stop working.

So my point is – I was afraid for a long time; I was afraid of the “Wolf”/”Maleficent” in me – and then I wasn’t…. – because the Big Bad Wolf was just misunderstood……the emotions and the reactions I was having – were misunderstood.

mindofadiva

Recent realisation…………a BIG HOLY SHIT MOMENT!

Look lets cut through the Bullshit – I know most of us have something that we don’t like about ourselves – I am not sure when it started or why it happens…..or what you don’t like….I personally think everyone is beautiful because there is no one else like you!

I know some people; they think they have a crooked smile; or they don’t like their nose or they feel that their eyes are too small… And even though we may get upset about our imperfections, they don’t interfere with our daily lives.

However in all of my transformational journey, the learning’s and experience about my feelings around my body; it wasn’t just about my self worth or imperfections that I saw…..It was recently pointed out to me that there is a disorder that for some people their real or perceived flaws consumed them for hours each day and prevent them from living………and HOLY SHIT – I realised that this had been me…..

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).

According to the Better Health website (Victoria government): it can be defined as-http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Body_dysmorphic_disorder_(BDD)?open

“Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental illness in which people constantly worry about the way they look. They may believe an inconspicuous or non-existent physical attribute is a serious defect. Consequently, they may stay at home or keep their appearance hidden. Treatment includes cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) and antidepressant drugs.”

I had been so ashamed of myself – my body – some days I was at a loss of what to do……hence further information advised of……

  • Can’t control their negative thoughts and don’t believe people who tell them that they look fine.
  • Their thoughts may cause severe emotional distress and interfere with their daily functioning.
  • They may miss work or school, avoid social situations and isolate themselves, even from family and friends, because they fear others will notice their flaws.
  • They may even undergo unnecessary plastic surgeries to correct perceived imperfections, never finding satisfaction with the results.

For years; in my head – (I felt like I had the Big Bad Wolf inside of me at times) – there were times that for days on end; I would isolate myself because of my ‘flaws’; and when people said you are beautiful – for me – they were lying; my negative thoughts were out of control and yes surgery did enter my head – I wanted to completely change the defected body I thought I had.

You see the thing is; no one talks about this – not one Doctor when I told them of my thoughts and feelings – the downward spiral; acknowledged that this disorder even existed – I was just depressed/fat/lazy- (Please note; that depression is a part of it; so please seek out support).

It is only recently that I have discovered what this is all about and how occurs for some on a very extreme level.

 

I was also told that “Eating disorders are just more extreme versions of the exact same issues that we all have with eating. Technically everyone who struggled with their weight has disordered eating in some form or another.” 

If you would like read more about what is being done; check out the link below from the USA:

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/ways-spot-body-dysmorphic-disorder/story?id=2502703

Acknowledging the Big Bad Wolf; she was misunderstood……

I am so grateful for this new knowledge and the incredible opportunity to not only heal myself through new techniques; I know it is not an easy process and for others the journey has been and will be very different.

I have been able to create a shift in beliefs; my values and with daily habits of self-love – to move forward….I am no longer afraid of the Big Bad Wolf – she is pretty cool – she walks beside me now; instead of in my head – AND now; the more I learn; the more I can help others through their journey of self realisation.

Look – some of you will disagree;  and some won’t know what to say – all I know is that issues like Eating Disorders/Depression are not something that people talk about – it is almost like we are afraid….afraid that we won’t know the ‘right thing to say” or “what to do” – but you know what – the biggest gift in my shifting out of the fear and into the flight – to SOAR in my life – was someone asking me – “isn’t it time for you??”;  they listened; acknowledged and then showing me the tools so that I could take 100% responsibility for myself and my life – it wasn’t easy – but now; as I continue to learn; evolve and gain more knowledge – there is no looking back!!!

Ps. Including……a photo shoot!! and I can’t wait to share them with you!! Some will be for my website and others will just be for me 🙂

New Chapter….

As some of you may have read; recently it was announced on my Facebook Page of my exciting news and the amazing opportunity that my journey has taken me on!!

I am now working as a Client Service Manager for My Mind Coach…… http://mymindcoach.com.au/welcoming-selina/!!!! Now I get to serve others to help get them where they want to go in life; so that they can love themselves and shine brighter than ever!  Just as the incredible Kylie did for me 18 months ago 🙂

Words can’t express how my life has changed and the overflow of gratitude that I have for her support and encouragement to take a leap and soar!

Watch this space!!!!

Choice, Happiness, Life style, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

What does happiness mean for you?

It is a beautiful thing…the emotion; the feeling; the thought; the idea of happy 🙂

But what does it really mean??

We are taught that happiness is the answer to everything….afterall…didn’t most of our stories in our childhood, end with……”and they lived happily ever after”?

The word describes an emotion; a way in which we are told how to feel…but is being happy like any other emotion; or is it just a word?

What does happiness mean to you???

For some; they will tell you for them..it is unattainable….

For others; they will tell you that for them….it is easy to achieve…

For you -the list could be endless…..how exciting!!!!!!!!!!!

For me…..I have learnt that it is many things…..yet the question I have been asking of late is….when did we decide that we knew what happiness was to another and when did we allow others to tell us how to be happy?

happy

For me; there are a number of things that make me smile and generate the feeling of happiness within me……

I can’t list them all; but tonight was reminded that it is Ok for to have an ‘off day’ and it is Ok to acknowledge that I want to live an extraordinary life and feel ravishing….

So here are a few little things that light me up…..that generate what I like to call, “the happy bug” in me ……and after reading them…..my invitation to you is to take some time at the start of this new month….and look into yourself and acknowledge how far you have come, what you are up too in this life, what happiness is to you and if it is not there as much as you would like…..go have some fun & discover a way to bring the happy bug back into your life – your way – your rules.

Little things that generate the happy bug in me;

  • Waking up in the morning……………..
  • Sunsets from a mountain top
  • Dancing – in the kitchen while cooking………..slow dancing with my partner in the living room……..dancing til sunrise with my girlfriends………..dancing with a baby while singing them to sleep
  • Sitting by the river in the sun…..
  • A great brunch location with friends
  • Donating my time and energy to a good cause
  • Giving away things to people who need them more than me
  • Having people at my dinner table
  • Music – listening………..live and singing in the car with the window down!
  • Buying new clothes for the first time in ages….with no guilt!
  • Hearing Laughter – and laughing so hard that you cry
  • Hugs – HUGS -HUGS! (esp from my mum!)
  • Having cuddles with my puppy Sooty…right up until she passed away at the age of 19yrs old – ( yes…thinking of her makes me feeling happy and yes i miss the cuddles still)
  • The smell of fresh mint
  • Seeing an elderly couple holding hands as they walk along the beach
  • The ocean at sunrise -watching the world wake up and feeling like the luckiest person alive
  • The ocean at sunset – wrapped up in a blanket
  • Waking up early only to realise that I can sleep in 🙂
  • Seeing love in others
  • Receiving gratitude from someone for your help whether it is telling them that they have landed their dream role or if by a coaching session I gave them a while back; they have seen the difference in themselves…..
  • A new born baby smell
  • Watching a classic film – like Casablanca on a Sunday afternoon
  • Being love
  • Receiving a massage and a facial!
  • Giving love
  • A good book with a blanket and a cup of tea on my favourite chair while it is raining outside
  • Cooking for people I love
  • Reading a story to a child
  • Buying fresh flowers and filling the house with them
  • Wandering through an antique store…..wondering about the stories of each item…
  • Being in airport…..
  • Getting so lost in the book that you lose track of time…..
  • A great tasting coffee – in Italy – France – New York – New Zealand – Melbourne……..
  • Sharing an “ahh moment ‘ with a friend
  • Being with my person and not saying a word
  • Beating my personal best in a run or lifting weights
  • Waking up in the middle of the night and feeling my lovers arms around me….spooning me.
  • Discovering a new place and meeting new people…
  • Having my hair stroked….
  • Looking in the mirror and realising that I love who I have become
  • Watching people say “I do”
  • A blank canvas
  • When someone makes you a cup of tea; and you just had the thought; “I could so do with a cup of tea”
  • Doing something for someone and watching the gratitude spread across their face….
  • Surprising someone with flowers
  • Being surprised
  • Someone offering you support without you asking
  • Falling in love
  • Letting go….

elephant

 

Body Image, Choice, Determination, Fitness, FOCUS, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

Alignment of Desire – I GOT IT! I have a Beautiful Mind – I have a Beautiful Body – I have a Beautiful LIFE!

This week has been a massive turning point – heart, head, body!

As you know I felt stuck – in a holding pattern frustrated and uninspired because nothing felt like it was moving forward! I had put everything in place and was clear on what I wanted however it felt like my request had gotten lost 😦

How can I inspire others if I feel like I can’t inspire myself?

And I figured it out – it all came down to promises unfulfilled.

Promises from others & Promises to myself.

Because I was not focused on my purpose – I was focused on the outcome. 

nottobeperfect

Time to create a new truth  – oh & by the way – blockages have become a blessing in disguise!

My new truth is – it is okay not to be perfect – the more I have, the more I can give – with education/learning, there is action – as long as my action is generated by the feelings that give me the most clarity.

Clarity comes from aligning my values with my intentions and writing out a plan of action/doing – not just focusing on the outcome.

Here is a glimpse of my Values – which I am learning to review and adjust as I more forward – this is just the first 6;

  1. Luscious Love & Connection
  2. Zestful energizing health with a powerhouse level of fitness
  3. Luxurious Abundant Wealth
  4. Creative Knowledge with Focused Passion
  5. Fun & Fame with Appreciation, Adventure, Relaxation and Celebration
  6. Self Expression & Contribution with Balance and Inspiration

Yes – I admit it – I want my life to be one of Love, Connection, Passion; Laughter and Success! I have never wanted to admit that before because I was worried what people would think – OK my perfectionism was worried – now I am excited to share and express all of this, because it is what as helped to generate the emotions/feelings to move me from ‘being stuck’ to ‘soaring to new heights’.

Yes – I admit it – I am still working on the clearer more specific details – I am not afraid of them now – I am not afraid that the promises to myself will be broken – because NOW I am checking in with my purpose – listening to my heart/my body/my mentors who are teaching me so much and bringing out the best in me – because what I see in them -they see in me 🙂

Yes – I admit that my goals/projects/plans in relation to my health – still has the kgs in it – At times I don’t remember what I looked like at a certain weight that was healthy – however I am very happy that it is no longer the only measure of my success – yes – i used to think that the measure of my self worth/success was what the number said. There are many pieces to the puzzle of my health – I want my health to be one of vitality for life – not just about a challenge or a dress or way to look. Now it is about my strength in my mind and my body – it doesn’t have to be one or the other – it can be both. The difference is now, this time, the goal is not the end product – it is living everyday and enjoying the feeling of being healthy/being active/being clear/being connected/feeling beautiful/living everyday with the intention of love  – in my mind, in my heart and in my body – so that I can lead by example.

Today’s breakthrough – I trained in our Sunday Circuit Session, without my ankle strap for the 1st time since I injured it in early November 2013!!

Alignment Action – 

I had, what I call – an hour of power on the phone, with one of my mentor’s – to align my head & my heart with my intention/my purpose – from this, I was able to create a new file – a new perspective – to bring it all together – and I realised that I had selfishly been so lost in the lack of what I thought I didn’t or couldn’t bring to others – that I didn’t see the beauty of what I do bring.

So not only this week did I shift my OWN POWER & MIND but once I did – I was INSPIRED by an  extraordinary blessing of the words of Natalie Patterson & her poem “I have a beautiful body” which brought me to tears. This stunning woman glows from the inside – out – with her courage; her passion; her self expression – is breath-taking.

However upon further reading and research – she has her own blog and more words that have since moved me – hence below I have shared her words in a link for the poem – “I dare you” – http://natalieispoetry.wordpress.com/2014/01/22/i-dare-you/

My favourite line – “Get out, you naked girl with cellulite” said no one ever… so get over it”

That line hit me hard – another AHHH moment! So get over it – I then went to a day spa/bath-house & walked around in my swimmers – without covering up my legs which is what i would normally do – because I am beautiful – regardless of what the media says is beautiful.

So taking everything on from this week’s AHH moments –

  • I felt inspired!
  • I felt blessed!
  • I felt valued!
  • I felt powerful!
  • I felt aligned!
  • I felt alive!

Why? Because when you align your values; intention; passion & purpose – it works.

If I can do this, then so can you!

So taking my life/your life to the next level has arrived !

I never thought it could have and yet, it has arrived in the most unusual way – I would never, ever, have imagined where I am today 🙂

I am so grateful that I am here at the start of a new chapter; I am so grateful that you are with me too – so thank you 🙂

So I will leave you today, with this little message –

body

Choice, Happiness, Passion, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

Are you holding back the year

Welcome to a New YEAR!

New Opportunities!

New Adventures!

New era! WOW! Can you believe it is 2014 already!?????

Yes – I said era! And No, I wouldn’t have believed that 12 months ago that you can create a new era in your life every year……because it is just another year, right? I know some of you are over the New Year Resolution Movement already and it is only week 3…well I don’t make resolutions any more – I create projects – structured ideas – an evolution of opportunity!

Only this time, what is the difference you ask? I have no doubt about my ability to make it all happen! Because I no longer am concerned with holding back……(yes and right now you are all singing “Simply Red” holding back the years…… 🙂 )

Ok – first things, first!

Reflect…………..

A little bit of trivia – apparently it is THE X-Files 20th anniversary this year….I remember this being one of my favourite shows to watch as a teenager…(I wasn’t allowed to watch much TV – however I could sneak this in on a Wednesday night 😉 )..I remember being captured by the thought and the intrigue….

What is really possible? Is there life outside of this planet? Does science really explained everything?? Is the FBI that twisted & filled with conspiracy theories? How amazing would it be to live and work in another country and see how the world operates for them? What is it that is so exciting about the idea of living in another country?

Not much has changed really in the way of my viewing – however …..now I love to watch Once Upon a Time – because finally someone has answered what happens when the fairy tale story comes to an end and it says “THE END”! LOL! They go on living! And I love that they go on living with passion; with honour; with adventure and with love.

Come on….everyone has something that they love to get lost in – it is how we still use our imagination as adults…right?

When did you stop imagining the impossible? 

Each year is an opportunity to explore; live; love; laugh and take on the world with everything you have! The excitement of the unknown; and the known; the options; choices; places; people……I get goosebumps just thinking about it!!!!

Then I think of the crazy ideas…..or previous conversations with people…..like…….Have you ever been to New York? Do you want to go to New York and have a Starbucks coffee in Central Park – wouldn’t it be a great place to people watch? (i did this by the way 🙂 )

Nah….we can now have a Starbucks coffee anywhere now – that is nothing exciting – you can even have Starbucks in Peru!!!

Well do you want to go to Peru and see where Paddington Bear comes from? Nah….I just read the story or google the pictures.

Ok; how about going to the Pyramids in Egypt and experiencing first hand the magnificence awe of the structures and the history of the people??? or ride a donkey into the Valley of the Kings at sunrise – feel the sun warm your skin? Nah; I can just watch a documentary on TV.

 Well do you want to write a story? Be a famous published author!? Share your thoughts with the world!  Nah…..everyone has written everything already.

MMmmmmmmmm do we see a pattern here?

As I look around and watch people at the start of a new year; a blessing that we all have to enjoy & how lucky we are to have so many different opportunities and choices, however it would seem that we have forgotten what it is like to experience the ‘real thing’; experience for ourselves first hand the sounds; taste; sight with OUR BODIES! with OUR HEARTS! with OUR SENSES!

holding on

As I reflected; thanked & welcomed in this amazing, exciting, BEST YEAR YET!! – with a close friend; – (I know it will be because that is how I am creating it) we enjoyed talking and getting excited about what is going to happen. 🙂 It felt good!

However on the days that followed and the more I spoke with people; the more I reflected on this, as I realised that it doesn’t feel like people are really living any more…..they just seem to be ‘existing’ – holding on tight – to what I don’t know – holding on to the past – holding to the dream of something better – holding on to the resentment or pain or joyful memories for fear that they won’t have anymore??? It feels like we are holding on so tight that we don’t know how to let go that which doesn’t serve us anymore?

Whether it is FEAR or SADNESS or ANGRY – something is gripping us so tight….It is like we have forgotten what it is like to let go  – to spin yourself around and around and around in circles til you’re so dizzy you fall over with the giggles and lay on the grass and feel like the world is trying to catch up with you!!! 🙂

We don’t know how to let go anymore – we seem to have forgotten that there is magic in the world because we have become so weighed down in “baggage”, that our promises to ourselves to live a life filled with joy; love; laughter; excitement; energy; peace & passion – seems ‘unrealistic’.

Moving forward……

I am no expert – this is just my observations – I just get this feeling that this is the year – is the year to stop holding back – the year to stop holding on to the past – the pain – the sadness – the what’ if’s or should have’s.

Aren’t you tired of always being tired? Of wondering what is missing?

I know I was and I realised that for the first time in a long time as this year came into being – I am not afraid of letting go anymore; because it is easier to jump from indecision city platform onto a moving train that is going forward, when you have both hands free!

You’ve got this!

My challenge to you is – make no promises that don’t feel real  – make no promises that don’t give you goosebumps – start small and  go from there – don’t do what I did last year – don’t put your life on-hold waiting for the next thing – and then cram 12 months of the year into 6 months! GO OUT THERE & TRY!

You’ve got this!

My challenge to you is – find something that gets you excited! That makes you feel like everything is possible!

You’ve got this!

My challenge to you is – find something that makes you smile – the kind of smile that hurts your cheeks! That way others will smile too when they see you smile! 🙂 Go see a kid’s movie once a month….

You’ve got this!

My challenge to you is – love yourself just as you are; right now – don’t waste another second! STOP worry about what other people think of you – it is really none of your business 🙂

You’ve got this!

My challenge to you is – take some time out and look deep into your heart and your memories and forgive – forgive once and for all.

You’ve got this!

My challenge to you is – find the magic again in the world – let your imagination run wild – what is the one thing that you have always wanted to do?????????? What if this year was the year you did it? How would it feel when you look back at the photo of yourself in that destination with all of your senses alive with the experience; because you were there?

You’ve got this!

My challenge to you is – GET OUT THERE AND LIVE! LIVE! LIVE! Be the example to those around you!

You’ve got this!

I can’t wait to see what you do!!!!!!!!!!

Walt-Disney-Wall-Quote

Choice, Determination, Happiness, Life style, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

What do trust and self esteem have in common?

Trust me, it isn’t a trick question…..someone once told me that people who are more secure in themselves, are most trusting of others. 

Mmmm really…????How do you become more trusting of others, when you have forgotten how to trust yourself.

Which brings me back to the question – What do trust and self esteem have in common…..?????

Give up?

They are both common factors in successful relationships 🙂 ahhh you say…..in all relationships, I hear you ask? Yes – in all relationships; from romantic to business to friendship to self.

Pause……my little voice kicks in – what about the relationship with yourself Little Miss Fabulousness?

**(Please note; that this blog has been saved as a draft for a while now; so perfect timing for this week 🙂 ) 

And she is right…..because I had been living a lie for so long; little did I realise how much I had stopped trusting myself and how I had kept missing the subtle hints from the universe/my intuition -that then it decided to deliver a message this week, about my lack of trust in myself, which would cause a chain reaction of events – both physical and emotional!

calm

Trust your gut

Or as known by some – women’s intuition – a wonderful thing; been around for thousands of years……for example, I recall from a high school history lesson, that Egyptian Goddess Cleopatra apparently used her virtues of intellect and intuition to gain access to power 🙂

However it would appear that we (Ok, I) have been ignoring it for so long that we (I) have forgotten what it sounds like! I know I did, I recognise that now with little subtle reminders too 😉

This journey has not been easy over the last 11 months and I never assumed it would be – when you have been lying to yourself for so long and when you change who you are for someone else; the truth hurts. Some answers frustrated me because I couldn’t see them right away; others slapped me so hard that I fell down (which in boxing this week; my ankle gave way and I landed pretty heavily on a mental rode from the boxing squares I had been jumping in & out of….consequence, I moved 2 bones in my ankle…..) – what has this got to do with it? Well the realisation that with a situation from my past; even though I had processed certain parts; the one that my “gut”; my “intuition” keep telling me to deal with – was anger. The anger relating to, another relationship that I had given everything I had; didn’t work… again?!!!?????

Which begs the trust question again….however how do I trust myself to deal with it effectively when I have been too concerned about the receptiveness of others if I do get angry or upset or that I am not what they really want and they chose to walk away?

Let’s be honest………….

As some of you know (or others may not as this may be your first read of my blog) last week an interview that I did was released and it surprised some people; because I had kept so much close to my heart, because of the situation at the time, I didn’t trust that I could say what I was going through and have people still there on the other side of it. The interview was raw; real; unscripted and showed my vulnerable side…….big time!

Scary hun!!??? Well for me; no apologies; it was really about time 🙂

So I want you to get, that it isn’t the anger or people’s reaction that I am afraid of….the truth of the matter is, I have put so much trust in people and had it been shattered so many times recently; that I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. Then you start finding other ways to “trust” again; falling into old patterns; however it is all false and still falls apart no matter how hard you try to make i work; because you can’t have one without the other.

Then I started to see around me in people and even little ‘freebie tips & tricks”, that women who get what they want in life, know what their intuition is telling them and that if they pay attention and not just hope for the opportunity,they get out there and grab it – they trust themselves to do it & the results speak for themselves.

My ‘gut’, my little voice and I, are so excited by the realisation that my trust has increase in some areas; but then overwhelmingly frustrated that the other areas are still a work in progress…… So what are you going to do about it?” I hear you ask? Well, my yellow brick road and I are working together, side by side, brick by brick; piece by piece to build up my self trust even higher; oh and even with an injured ankle….upper body and core work is still on the agenda aka it is just a plot twist 😉

3 lane highway/3 lane yellow brick road

I have been reminded of the previous lesson learnt this week, that it is difficult to walk away from relationships (whether they be business/romantic/friendship); especially because of the time and energy we put into them in the first place to create them; then there is the disappointment in others; their actions or lack of. In the dating world, I have learnt that it is easy for some to just disappear and pretend you never existed in the first place or others who follow through and say thanks for your time; ” however I find you intimidating” 🙂 (Ps. Not all dating processes work for you just because it worked for someone else either – another lesson learnt)

Next lesson – when someone disappoints you; try to imagine them as a child – perhaps confused & insecure? – it won’t change the fact however it will have you see them in another light – perhaps allow more space for you to move past the disappointment & acknowledge your own disappointment that maybe you should have walked away sooner or that you need to stop placing so much value in others opinions of you (please note; your inner child might be jumping up and down right now with agreement because they are feeling insecure or confused; some nurturing may be in order too 😉 )

I have learnt that if you are not getting what you need; stop apologising for walking away; HOPE is not an option – it doesn’t seal the deal at the end of the day; and that is what my ‘gut’ has been trying to tell me….so yes, I need to improve on my listening skills too as well as my boxing foot work 🙂

The last 11 months, I have identified where I am vulnerable; and need to pay more attention to “my intuition” around the choices/decisions, including the facts that I am presented with along side my own research; so that I can make the best informed choice in relation to that situation as it stands; because that is all you can do.

Oh and I am going to continue to take the time to think over a choice/decision – people can wait! Even if it is one of my worst traits…..over analyzing everything according to an ex – however I love listening to my ‘intuition’ again and feel so much more alive and confident that trusting myself saves time too 🙂

So yes; common factors of trust & self esteem are evident in successful relationships within my life – business; friendship and self.

Plus I am clear about what kind of relationship I have with myself now more than ever & I love it! And I am going to keep going out there and getting what I want! Because I deserve it and I am having a blast 🙂

Ps. Oh and while all of this is going on, the one that is coming in the form of my life partner; the charismatic man that he is; his relationship with himself will rock, so my ‘gut’ tells me 😉

trust