Body Image, Choice, Determination, Fitness, FOCUS, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

Alignment of Desire – I GOT IT! I have a Beautiful Mind – I have a Beautiful Body – I have a Beautiful LIFE!

This week has been a massive turning point – heart, head, body!

As you know I felt stuck – in a holding pattern frustrated and uninspired because nothing felt like it was moving forward! I had put everything in place and was clear on what I wanted however it felt like my request had gotten lost 😦

How can I inspire others if I feel like I can’t inspire myself?

And I figured it out – it all came down to promises unfulfilled.

Promises from others & Promises to myself.

Because I was not focused on my purpose – I was focused on the outcome. 

nottobeperfect

Time to create a new truth  – oh & by the way – blockages have become a blessing in disguise!

My new truth is – it is okay not to be perfect – the more I have, the more I can give – with education/learning, there is action – as long as my action is generated by the feelings that give me the most clarity.

Clarity comes from aligning my values with my intentions and writing out a plan of action/doing – not just focusing on the outcome.

Here is a glimpse of my Values – which I am learning to review and adjust as I more forward – this is just the first 6;

  1. Luscious Love & Connection
  2. Zestful energizing health with a powerhouse level of fitness
  3. Luxurious Abundant Wealth
  4. Creative Knowledge with Focused Passion
  5. Fun & Fame with Appreciation, Adventure, Relaxation and Celebration
  6. Self Expression & Contribution with Balance and Inspiration

Yes – I admit it – I want my life to be one of Love, Connection, Passion; Laughter and Success! I have never wanted to admit that before because I was worried what people would think – OK my perfectionism was worried – now I am excited to share and express all of this, because it is what as helped to generate the emotions/feelings to move me from ‘being stuck’ to ‘soaring to new heights’.

Yes – I admit it – I am still working on the clearer more specific details – I am not afraid of them now – I am not afraid that the promises to myself will be broken – because NOW I am checking in with my purpose – listening to my heart/my body/my mentors who are teaching me so much and bringing out the best in me – because what I see in them -they see in me 🙂

Yes – I admit that my goals/projects/plans in relation to my health – still has the kgs in it – At times I don’t remember what I looked like at a certain weight that was healthy – however I am very happy that it is no longer the only measure of my success – yes – i used to think that the measure of my self worth/success was what the number said. There are many pieces to the puzzle of my health – I want my health to be one of vitality for life – not just about a challenge or a dress or way to look. Now it is about my strength in my mind and my body – it doesn’t have to be one or the other – it can be both. The difference is now, this time, the goal is not the end product – it is living everyday and enjoying the feeling of being healthy/being active/being clear/being connected/feeling beautiful/living everyday with the intention of love  – in my mind, in my heart and in my body – so that I can lead by example.

Today’s breakthrough – I trained in our Sunday Circuit Session, without my ankle strap for the 1st time since I injured it in early November 2013!!

Alignment Action – 

I had, what I call – an hour of power on the phone, with one of my mentor’s – to align my head & my heart with my intention/my purpose – from this, I was able to create a new file – a new perspective – to bring it all together – and I realised that I had selfishly been so lost in the lack of what I thought I didn’t or couldn’t bring to others – that I didn’t see the beauty of what I do bring.

So not only this week did I shift my OWN POWER & MIND but once I did – I was INSPIRED by an  extraordinary blessing of the words of Natalie Patterson & her poem “I have a beautiful body” which brought me to tears. This stunning woman glows from the inside – out – with her courage; her passion; her self expression – is breath-taking.

However upon further reading and research – she has her own blog and more words that have since moved me – hence below I have shared her words in a link for the poem – “I dare you” – http://natalieispoetry.wordpress.com/2014/01/22/i-dare-you/

My favourite line – “Get out, you naked girl with cellulite” said no one ever… so get over it”

That line hit me hard – another AHHH moment! So get over it – I then went to a day spa/bath-house & walked around in my swimmers – without covering up my legs which is what i would normally do – because I am beautiful – regardless of what the media says is beautiful.

So taking everything on from this week’s AHH moments –

  • I felt inspired!
  • I felt blessed!
  • I felt valued!
  • I felt powerful!
  • I felt aligned!
  • I felt alive!

Why? Because when you align your values; intention; passion & purpose – it works.

If I can do this, then so can you!

So taking my life/your life to the next level has arrived !

I never thought it could have and yet, it has arrived in the most unusual way – I would never, ever, have imagined where I am today 🙂

I am so grateful that I am here at the start of a new chapter; I am so grateful that you are with me too – so thank you 🙂

So I will leave you today, with this little message –

body

Choice, Happiness, Passion, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

Are you holding back the year

Welcome to a New YEAR!

New Opportunities!

New Adventures!

New era! WOW! Can you believe it is 2014 already!?????

Yes – I said era! And No, I wouldn’t have believed that 12 months ago that you can create a new era in your life every year……because it is just another year, right? I know some of you are over the New Year Resolution Movement already and it is only week 3…well I don’t make resolutions any more – I create projects – structured ideas – an evolution of opportunity!

Only this time, what is the difference you ask? I have no doubt about my ability to make it all happen! Because I no longer am concerned with holding back……(yes and right now you are all singing “Simply Red” holding back the years…… 🙂 )

Ok – first things, first!

Reflect…………..

A little bit of trivia – apparently it is THE X-Files 20th anniversary this year….I remember this being one of my favourite shows to watch as a teenager…(I wasn’t allowed to watch much TV – however I could sneak this in on a Wednesday night 😉 )..I remember being captured by the thought and the intrigue….

What is really possible? Is there life outside of this planet? Does science really explained everything?? Is the FBI that twisted & filled with conspiracy theories? How amazing would it be to live and work in another country and see how the world operates for them? What is it that is so exciting about the idea of living in another country?

Not much has changed really in the way of my viewing – however …..now I love to watch Once Upon a Time – because finally someone has answered what happens when the fairy tale story comes to an end and it says “THE END”! LOL! They go on living! And I love that they go on living with passion; with honour; with adventure and with love.

Come on….everyone has something that they love to get lost in – it is how we still use our imagination as adults…right?

When did you stop imagining the impossible? 

Each year is an opportunity to explore; live; love; laugh and take on the world with everything you have! The excitement of the unknown; and the known; the options; choices; places; people……I get goosebumps just thinking about it!!!!

Then I think of the crazy ideas…..or previous conversations with people…..like…….Have you ever been to New York? Do you want to go to New York and have a Starbucks coffee in Central Park – wouldn’t it be a great place to people watch? (i did this by the way 🙂 )

Nah….we can now have a Starbucks coffee anywhere now – that is nothing exciting – you can even have Starbucks in Peru!!!

Well do you want to go to Peru and see where Paddington Bear comes from? Nah….I just read the story or google the pictures.

Ok; how about going to the Pyramids in Egypt and experiencing first hand the magnificence awe of the structures and the history of the people??? or ride a donkey into the Valley of the Kings at sunrise – feel the sun warm your skin? Nah; I can just watch a documentary on TV.

 Well do you want to write a story? Be a famous published author!? Share your thoughts with the world!  Nah…..everyone has written everything already.

MMmmmmmmmm do we see a pattern here?

As I look around and watch people at the start of a new year; a blessing that we all have to enjoy & how lucky we are to have so many different opportunities and choices, however it would seem that we have forgotten what it is like to experience the ‘real thing’; experience for ourselves first hand the sounds; taste; sight with OUR BODIES! with OUR HEARTS! with OUR SENSES!

holding on

As I reflected; thanked & welcomed in this amazing, exciting, BEST YEAR YET!! – with a close friend; – (I know it will be because that is how I am creating it) we enjoyed talking and getting excited about what is going to happen. 🙂 It felt good!

However on the days that followed and the more I spoke with people; the more I reflected on this, as I realised that it doesn’t feel like people are really living any more…..they just seem to be ‘existing’ – holding on tight – to what I don’t know – holding on to the past – holding to the dream of something better – holding on to the resentment or pain or joyful memories for fear that they won’t have anymore??? It feels like we are holding on so tight that we don’t know how to let go that which doesn’t serve us anymore?

Whether it is FEAR or SADNESS or ANGRY – something is gripping us so tight….It is like we have forgotten what it is like to let go  – to spin yourself around and around and around in circles til you’re so dizzy you fall over with the giggles and lay on the grass and feel like the world is trying to catch up with you!!! 🙂

We don’t know how to let go anymore – we seem to have forgotten that there is magic in the world because we have become so weighed down in “baggage”, that our promises to ourselves to live a life filled with joy; love; laughter; excitement; energy; peace & passion – seems ‘unrealistic’.

Moving forward……

I am no expert – this is just my observations – I just get this feeling that this is the year – is the year to stop holding back – the year to stop holding on to the past – the pain – the sadness – the what’ if’s or should have’s.

Aren’t you tired of always being tired? Of wondering what is missing?

I know I was and I realised that for the first time in a long time as this year came into being – I am not afraid of letting go anymore; because it is easier to jump from indecision city platform onto a moving train that is going forward, when you have both hands free!

You’ve got this!

My challenge to you is – make no promises that don’t feel real  – make no promises that don’t give you goosebumps – start small and  go from there – don’t do what I did last year – don’t put your life on-hold waiting for the next thing – and then cram 12 months of the year into 6 months! GO OUT THERE & TRY!

You’ve got this!

My challenge to you is – find something that gets you excited! That makes you feel like everything is possible!

You’ve got this!

My challenge to you is – find something that makes you smile – the kind of smile that hurts your cheeks! That way others will smile too when they see you smile! 🙂 Go see a kid’s movie once a month….

You’ve got this!

My challenge to you is – love yourself just as you are; right now – don’t waste another second! STOP worry about what other people think of you – it is really none of your business 🙂

You’ve got this!

My challenge to you is – take some time out and look deep into your heart and your memories and forgive – forgive once and for all.

You’ve got this!

My challenge to you is – find the magic again in the world – let your imagination run wild – what is the one thing that you have always wanted to do?????????? What if this year was the year you did it? How would it feel when you look back at the photo of yourself in that destination with all of your senses alive with the experience; because you were there?

You’ve got this!

My challenge to you is – GET OUT THERE AND LIVE! LIVE! LIVE! Be the example to those around you!

You’ve got this!

I can’t wait to see what you do!!!!!!!!!!

Walt-Disney-Wall-Quote

Choice, Determination, Happiness, Life style, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

What do trust and self esteem have in common?

Trust me, it isn’t a trick question…..someone once told me that people who are more secure in themselves, are most trusting of others. 

Mmmm really…????How do you become more trusting of others, when you have forgotten how to trust yourself.

Which brings me back to the question – What do trust and self esteem have in common…..?????

Give up?

They are both common factors in successful relationships 🙂 ahhh you say…..in all relationships, I hear you ask? Yes – in all relationships; from romantic to business to friendship to self.

Pause……my little voice kicks in – what about the relationship with yourself Little Miss Fabulousness?

**(Please note; that this blog has been saved as a draft for a while now; so perfect timing for this week 🙂 ) 

And she is right…..because I had been living a lie for so long; little did I realise how much I had stopped trusting myself and how I had kept missing the subtle hints from the universe/my intuition -that then it decided to deliver a message this week, about my lack of trust in myself, which would cause a chain reaction of events – both physical and emotional!

calm

Trust your gut

Or as known by some – women’s intuition – a wonderful thing; been around for thousands of years……for example, I recall from a high school history lesson, that Egyptian Goddess Cleopatra apparently used her virtues of intellect and intuition to gain access to power 🙂

However it would appear that we (Ok, I) have been ignoring it for so long that we (I) have forgotten what it sounds like! I know I did, I recognise that now with little subtle reminders too 😉

This journey has not been easy over the last 11 months and I never assumed it would be – when you have been lying to yourself for so long and when you change who you are for someone else; the truth hurts. Some answers frustrated me because I couldn’t see them right away; others slapped me so hard that I fell down (which in boxing this week; my ankle gave way and I landed pretty heavily on a mental rode from the boxing squares I had been jumping in & out of….consequence, I moved 2 bones in my ankle…..) – what has this got to do with it? Well the realisation that with a situation from my past; even though I had processed certain parts; the one that my “gut”; my “intuition” keep telling me to deal with – was anger. The anger relating to, another relationship that I had given everything I had; didn’t work… again?!!!?????

Which begs the trust question again….however how do I trust myself to deal with it effectively when I have been too concerned about the receptiveness of others if I do get angry or upset or that I am not what they really want and they chose to walk away?

Let’s be honest………….

As some of you know (or others may not as this may be your first read of my blog) last week an interview that I did was released and it surprised some people; because I had kept so much close to my heart, because of the situation at the time, I didn’t trust that I could say what I was going through and have people still there on the other side of it. The interview was raw; real; unscripted and showed my vulnerable side…….big time!

Scary hun!!??? Well for me; no apologies; it was really about time 🙂

So I want you to get, that it isn’t the anger or people’s reaction that I am afraid of….the truth of the matter is, I have put so much trust in people and had it been shattered so many times recently; that I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. Then you start finding other ways to “trust” again; falling into old patterns; however it is all false and still falls apart no matter how hard you try to make i work; because you can’t have one without the other.

Then I started to see around me in people and even little ‘freebie tips & tricks”, that women who get what they want in life, know what their intuition is telling them and that if they pay attention and not just hope for the opportunity,they get out there and grab it – they trust themselves to do it & the results speak for themselves.

My ‘gut’, my little voice and I, are so excited by the realisation that my trust has increase in some areas; but then overwhelmingly frustrated that the other areas are still a work in progress…… So what are you going to do about it?” I hear you ask? Well, my yellow brick road and I are working together, side by side, brick by brick; piece by piece to build up my self trust even higher; oh and even with an injured ankle….upper body and core work is still on the agenda aka it is just a plot twist 😉

3 lane highway/3 lane yellow brick road

I have been reminded of the previous lesson learnt this week, that it is difficult to walk away from relationships (whether they be business/romantic/friendship); especially because of the time and energy we put into them in the first place to create them; then there is the disappointment in others; their actions or lack of. In the dating world, I have learnt that it is easy for some to just disappear and pretend you never existed in the first place or others who follow through and say thanks for your time; ” however I find you intimidating” 🙂 (Ps. Not all dating processes work for you just because it worked for someone else either – another lesson learnt)

Next lesson – when someone disappoints you; try to imagine them as a child – perhaps confused & insecure? – it won’t change the fact however it will have you see them in another light – perhaps allow more space for you to move past the disappointment & acknowledge your own disappointment that maybe you should have walked away sooner or that you need to stop placing so much value in others opinions of you (please note; your inner child might be jumping up and down right now with agreement because they are feeling insecure or confused; some nurturing may be in order too 😉 )

I have learnt that if you are not getting what you need; stop apologising for walking away; HOPE is not an option – it doesn’t seal the deal at the end of the day; and that is what my ‘gut’ has been trying to tell me….so yes, I need to improve on my listening skills too as well as my boxing foot work 🙂

The last 11 months, I have identified where I am vulnerable; and need to pay more attention to “my intuition” around the choices/decisions, including the facts that I am presented with along side my own research; so that I can make the best informed choice in relation to that situation as it stands; because that is all you can do.

Oh and I am going to continue to take the time to think over a choice/decision – people can wait! Even if it is one of my worst traits…..over analyzing everything according to an ex – however I love listening to my ‘intuition’ again and feel so much more alive and confident that trusting myself saves time too 🙂

So yes; common factors of trust & self esteem are evident in successful relationships within my life – business; friendship and self.

Plus I am clear about what kind of relationship I have with myself now more than ever & I love it! And I am going to keep going out there and getting what I want! Because I deserve it and I am having a blast 🙂

Ps. Oh and while all of this is going on, the one that is coming in the form of my life partner; the charismatic man that he is; his relationship with himself will rock, so my ‘gut’ tells me 😉

trust

Choice, FOCUS, Happiness, Mojo, Passion, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

What happens when you can’t shift gears..you hit the wall of course………….which slaps you with will I ever be enough?

 Dear PAST….meet the present – smack…you hit the wall….yes…..this is me stuck….banging my head against the wall…so not pretty…

So for days I have been tossing up whether or not to post this one…not a great head space at present, despite just having 10 days away….however I realised that sharing my journey with you all….it is not always going to be sparkles; rainbows and glasses of wine….it is tough at times to break through….me kicking my own butt (not pretty….and very unflattering…not lady like at all)…however if by sharing this in the now moment, helps you to get out of your own space quicker then it is worth it 🙂

So……the past is always there…you can’t change it….you can’t hide from it….although, you can pack it away in a box; yet somehow that box, always manages to open at the most inconvenient time…however I have learnt you can change your response to it..the past that is..not the box; it’s just a box 🙂

As mentioned previously, to stop living in the past….we need to acknowledge it and move on; right? Move forward….forgive…..step up….get over it…..grow wings and fly!!!! It’s your time to soar….it is your time to shine….blah…blah….blah……yet the other morning I woke up and felt like I had hit the wall or the wall hit me…..either way, my entire body ached all over…it hurt to breathe….every part of me was in a space of confusion…disappointment….rejection…..anger………I kept trying to shift the gears…..get up…..get dressed…..I listened to my morning meditation MP3……not even reverse gear was going to get me out of bed and I just kept getting more and more frustrated, pissed off and if one more little positive mantra came into my head…look out!!!!!!! oh and just shut the “F” up!! (told you it wasn’t pretty; excuse my french)

Now this is not normal for me….Remember nice girls don’t get angry and they don’t let the old habits kick back in….they smash it….they push through it…..nahhhh that wasn’t happening today……

THE PAUSE BUTTON…..time to press

So how do you shift gears, when all it feels like you keep doing, is hitting the wall?….shifting gears or even finding reverse for that matter….part of me could do it in my sleep; the other part of me says listen to your body…… I am exhausted and just need to put the brakes on…..because the ‘little voice” in my head is saying…….“Does it matter what I do or where I go or how I live my life or how much I love myself” (because it has been the key so far)….will there ever be anyone who will love and accept me….. just for me? In the famous words of Mr Darcy……”just as she is”.

Then the guilt kicks in…I don’t have any right to think like this – this is not a serious issue of the world….be grateful that you are alive! But then I know…..I know that today, is just going to be a day, when shifting gears…moving…being fabulous…isn’t going to happen.

What the hell is going on in my head????? I don’t know……nothing was working…..

LOVE 

Self love – is something that I value and cherish so much more now then ever before; yet this week…..no matter the process….the jog…..the adventure of the past 10 days…the people….the places…I had this feeling of empty….I had run out of fuel….there was no love…..no feeling…no nothing….love had packed it’s suitcase and taking a one way flight out of here! and you know what…I don’t blame it. 

I had been surrounded by love in so many forms over the last few months/years; I felt so blessed however waking up this particular morning…of all mornings….it felt like during the night some nasty little demon creature from some fairytale land came and took my mojo; my self love; my belief that someone out there is looking for me.

So the question…..will I ever be enough for him to find me?

PROCESSING the gear shift….

A wise friend has a saying……“The world has enough of you, now this is your time”……So for the first time ever…..I gave my self permission to do nothing….(WTF…I know a few of you are saying!!!)….well….actually…..I rolled over and went back to sleep (I had the day off work – thank god!)…..I turned my phone on to silent….and slept….

then I woke again, I jumped on Facebook……then fell asleep again…..

Then….I woke up….then I slept…..because you know what….exhaustion….not listening to my body……not standing up for me…..not giving myself time to dream; to just be and enjoy the world around me….I got lost…..I fell over….I was tired….I felt stuck….I was having an off day; no analyzing….just an off day…….pure & simple. 

AND you know what….for the first time ever….I gave myself permission….that it was ok….that IT IS ok…..I don’t have to be everything to everyone all the time. I have admitted before that I am a perfectionist ..we know this….good lord if you knew how many times I write and re-write my blog posts before I publish them…. you would think I have OCD! 

So I slept….because in my exhaustion; I was unreasonable…..because that burning question of “Will I ever be enough for someone?”…my past – slammed straight smack into my present. Why? Because I have been avoiding it……because up until now I didn’t love me so how could anyone else? 

I felt guilt.

I notice while I was away, that as women, we have this inbuilt button for guilt…..we feel guilty for even mentioning that we take time out or that I need a break or switching our phones to silent or choosing to step away from tradition or even be quirky…or live with someone and not get married or have only 1 child or want to have a child-free day or that we want a partner to share our life with…..there is almost a silent judgement or perhaps it is an envy that another woman can say it and we can’t?

Image

I know we want it all and we can have it all, however the balance is so vital. Then if someone does something for us we feel guilty….and guilt can be and look like anything. I felt guilty for having an “off” day…..but you know what……so what!! Is it worth the headache???

WHAT IS NEXT….

So what is next…why was I not enough….why was I feeling like no one would ever chose me….I know what I want in a partner…I am more clear now then ever before…so why hasn’t he found me yet??? I am almost 34…when is it my turn….I felt so guilty for looking at all of the families and couples around me, watching them create their lives each day…with love…laughter..warmth….acceptance….wanting to share my life with someone; they all have someone and I don’t. I felt so guilty for even thinking it, that I had pushed it so far down into myself that my body’s response was aching pain.

I have read it a thousand times….be the right partner…live life; enjoy it and the rest will fall into place…..and I finally get it 🙂

So for that day….my “off” day….I needed a release….I recognised that I needed something…..hehehehheeh and I then realised that the “old pattern” in me, would of reached for the food….the ice cream….(for some of you, it will be a glass of wine or beer) to stop the question….the emotion. Today the reality of my shifting gears was went from no action/reaction…to ACTION.time for a Personal Training Session!

1st Action – sleep….rejuvenate!

2nd Action – movement – reverse or forward – side to side – whatever….just move. 

You know what….so what…I hit the wall….it hurt….I have always had choice in my life…I just was so afraid that I didn’t know where to start. By the time I went to bed that night (midnight I was able switch my brain off!) I had a choice – I have a choice – I can climb over that bloody wall or smash through it; either way…..

DON”T STAND THERE GIVING YOURSELF A HEADACHE…..it’s not worth it.

Instead RELEASE the guilt…it takes up way too much valuable space.

Ps. I had a massage and a facial last night……no guilt 🙂

Pss. I have a date in a few days time – action….movement forward- excitement 🙂

Image

Choice, Determination, FOCUS, Happiness, Life style, Mojo, Passion, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation, Wonder Woman

Question Time…..are you a PP or an SP?

THE PAST

Are you like me? Do you find yourself agreeing with others to just make them happy? Do you keep your opinion to yourself as you don’t want to rock the boat? Have you been being, what you think others want you to be; instead of who you really are? Or is it more about when you begin to evolve and be more confident, people don’t know what to do in response and continually try to dismiss your way of thinking…so best you just keep quiet?
So then it begs the question….Are you a People Pleaser?
I don’t know about you; this little lady can trace her People-Pleasing behaviour all the way back to her childhood….from a little girl to a teenager to a young woman…not just personal life; even in my working career (bullying for example)….I wanted to make sure everyone was happy in some form or another. I was so concerned about them that for some unknown reason, I would take on the entire responsibility because as I discovered in the last few years, deep down the little girl in me was so worried that if I didn’t agree with you or fix you or make things better that you wouldn’t like me….because you would discover that I was otherwise boring and had nothing to offer…….

THE PROCESS….how to find the balance???????

Again just for a moment (because lets not get caught up in the story)….let us go back to the self doubt talking and justification being  “I can’t have the life I want….it is not possible…if the past keeps telling the story…why would now be any different?”

When you realise that you have been doing things one way for so long it is a bit of a shock to realise what a jerk you have been and who the hell thinks like this???
Well me…..I did….I did thought like this for years and it is only now that I am comfortable with pleasing me, do I realise how often I did this….with inner turmoil…only to discover that what I did actually had a name….and that People Pleasing Syndrome really exists!
I acknowledge that considering the needs of others; being generous and a willingness to help, are admirable traits however when you have low self esteem, this is something that you do for others with ease as you feel guilty and selfish when you choose to do something/anything for yourself. You believe that you are not important enough & with the high standard of perfection running the process for yourself…wow…it is so hard to not do & say what you can to ensure everyone is happy all the time ….so this is nothing new for those of us who realise we are people pleasers…..it is however a destructive way to operate your life; from within yourself and to external relationships with others.  Plus here is a little secret……(come closer) if I focused on making everyone else happy I didn’t have to acknowledge that my own life didn’t work……there you go….another ouch. Again not all of you will have this experience, this is just how it was for me 😦 not pretty……..
However when you decide to shift into a new plane of existence….people are shocked and some even rebel against you; however I ask you to take a close look at those in your life who have your best interest at heart and those who don’t? as the ones that don’t, operate in ‘drama cycle’ and those that do have learnt to be self pleasers and make the balance work.
I can tell you right now; it is exhausting pleasing everyone all the time! It is actually not possible and you are wasting your valuable energy on this trait….and serving no one nor being helpful to you or others….no wonder I was tired and grumpy all the time (pretending I was fine remember 😉 ). From my transformational work this year, I started listening to my body and hence I started listening to the world around me again….something I haven’t done in years. Actually the last time I did this was when I shifted my comfort zone and move to a foreign country…..there you meet people who out of no where want to do things for you for no reason & that’s ok….. and you find that like minded people are attracted into your life more than ever before because you have a different way of being; your radar is on a different wave length and your friends become your family & they encourage you to put yourself first – what a novel idea – for me, these people hold a special place in my heart and continue to love me even with oceans between and I guess this post will shock a few of them…..because I fell back into old patterns…I recognise this now…hence this post.
Time to dance to the music instead of just listening & when you find yourself in the cycle……just stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!! STOP IT!!! 
If I have learnt anything over the last few years of my life; (let me tell you that I have only just started putting it in to practice; so I am no expert!) that if people have the time to focus on you; your life and what you are doing or aren’t doing according to them including what is wrong with your life in their eyes, that is their story; their time & energy….it is easier for them to focus on you then deal with themselves….and hey….why are you so worried about what they think? THIS IS YOUR LIFE; live it the way you desire…..keep trying things until you find what works for you, your value and worth isn’t dependant on others opinions; yet we still place so much value in it as a society.
Oh and one of my favourite songs to listen too, so that I remind myself that it is ok to be me……is the song by Vanessa Amorosi – “This is who I am” – you know the chorus………..
“Well it’s alright to be myself
now I’ve learnt to stand
well it’s ok to be just who I am
I spent years really hating me
longing to be friends, now I hope that you can understand
This is who I am”
NEXT STEP….
So the question to myself at the time of the move and to you now is this……What is it costing you….by denying yourself what you really want – the balance between the pleasing self and others is possible…there is no cure or magic wand for this one either my friends….I am not the first person to write about this and I won’t be the last….however the more we remind each other that we are important as individuals and what we contribute to the world and that it is ok to take time out for yourself; we can improve the balance.
So whether that balance for you will start with a pamper session;  a coffee by yourself in a café just watching the world go by; 30 minutes alone time anywhere for that matter….a bath….a run or a session with a life coach/psychologist/or write a letter to express what you need so you can see it for yourself.
For me…what I say yes to now with no explanation or hesitation to say no to others so that I can have this ……. is solo time; a coffee by the water…on my own 🙂 pure bliss…oh & no guilt!!!

So my next lesson to add;

1.   Compassion for self

2.   Connection with self

3.   Confidence to be self

4.   Forgive self and others

5.   Gratitude with appreciation
6.   Learn to say No and Yes when it works for you
The next few bricks have been laid in my yellow brick road….and funnily enough, when I stopped pleasing others all the time and starting pleasing myself….new bricks just appeared in the road for which I am grateful for 🙂  
So again I say….it is a beautiful thing considering the needs of others; being generous and a willingness to help, as I said that are all admirable traits & something I admire in myself and others however the balance is crucial……so what are you going to do about it…..are you going to stay a PP or move upwards towards the light to being an SP? or are you going to stay on the fence??????
I can tell you, it is much more bright & loads more fun on the flip side 😉
Love Oprah :)
Love Oprah 🙂

This is my little mantra –

Sexy is not a size; every Calorie is not a war; your Body is not a battleground & your Value is not measured by kgs!

“I am beautiful and worthy just as I am; because I am.