Emotional Wellbeing, FOCUS, Happiness, Self awareness, Self Love

Light Vs Dark – which side is the real you?

I know it can be hard at times, the struggle between the 2 sides – light & dark.

We worry that others won’t accept us, love us or like us as much, if we show them the dark….the sadness….the pain….the hurt – because ain’t we meant to be ‘perfect’?

Working it out from the inside….
I have learnt that being vulnerable takes courage, and the truth is….it is your story that you tell yourself that stops others seeing the whole complete & real you.

Somewhere along the line I decided that we were just meant to be the ‘one way’, the ‘right way’ – that if I got upset that it was not “nice” and when I compared myself to others, I saw that they ‘never got upset’ – so what right did I have?

However I have learnt that I have both; a light & dark side AND that is ok.

I am both strong and weak, I am both bold & shy. I feel happiness and anger. And once I stopped comparing myself to others, I realised it is my reaction to the world that matters, not the comparison or what others think of me. 

Because without the darkness, there is no light as without the light, there is no darkness.

My point is, everything exists in balance.

The moon and the sun exist in balance as does summer and winter….one compliments the other. It is up to me – just as it is up to you, to be responsible for what you show the world.

Being ALL of you, is your balance to the world. I know we spend so long focusing on our weaknesses instead of our strengths, it is a challenge sometimes to step up and to stop comparing, however it is worth it….to have the freedom of both, the fun, the focus on what is really important – your happiness!

How to change…

Make the choice…

Spend some time tonight writing down your strengths, what is important to you and focus on that! (don’t hold back…..this is your chance to move forward & create a new level of happiness and fun in your life!)

It is ok to acknowledge both sides, however it is time to stop comparing and start to honour who you are – the real you is both sides, because that is when you really shine and step up powerfully into your brilliance!

brenebrownstory
Thanks to Brene Brown for her words!

It takes practice, everyday to generate yourself as a powerful human being – so isn’t it time you started now? 🙂

Body Image, Emotional Wellbeing, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Self awareness, Self Love

Self LOVE, Health & Happiness!!! And everything in between! My chat with the one & only Happiness Strategist Carl Massy

I am super excited to bring you a little something different this week!!

My interview with the Happiness Strategist,  Author, Teacher, Coach – all the way from Bali –

Mr Carl Massy.

Bali_carl_sel
Hanging with the Author himself in Bali May 2014

Welcome, Welcome Carl to Fabulousness Unleashed! I am so thrilled to have you here and for you to share with my readers your story and tips!! 

Background

Thanks Selina – It is always fun to sum up the last 45 years of my life into a paragraph or two. The chronological version is 14 years as an officer in the Australian army, then 5 years consulting to Olympic & Asian Games around the world, followed by a move to Bali in 2007 to set up a Coaching Business, after having studied NLP, hypnotherapy, reiki and fitness training. Plus throw in reading about 500 books on self-development, then writing a book on happiness and one on health, and travelling through over 50 countries and we are getting closer.

But the real story is pain, disconnection, a good dose of unhappiness, and way too much alcohol in order to dull these unpleasant feelings. Followed by an opportunity (intervention) to do something about it in the form of a Sunday night 3am infomercial selling a 30-day ‘personal development’ program by Success Coach, Tony Robbins. So in Easter 1999 I completely changed the course of my life. I took personal responsibility. I sought out and devoured knowledge. I changed my thinking and my habits. I actually changed my personality and as Dr Dispenza says, ‘when you change your personality, you change your personal reality’. I became different and so did my results.

On my journey I have met a lot of phonies, a lot of loons, but most importantly I have met some AMAZING individuals, doing amazing stuff. One of which was the lovely Kylie Ryan (www.mymindcoach.com.au), who did me the honour of introducing me to Selina and encouraging her to join me on my Life Coach Training course. Getting to know Selina’s ‘story’ and getting to hang out with her, has been a lot of fun, more learning, and a chance for both of us to grow. Hoorah!!

Selina: What does happiness mean to you?

I love to get the tough questions out-of-the-way first. Happiness for me is the by-product of the thinking, feeling and behaviours we practice through our days. It is the result of the things we do, the choices we make, and the way we show up in each moment. I can actually generate a strong feeling of happiness in any moment, when I connect to love, gratitude and my breath.

The challenge for me (and all of us I think) is to create a life and lifestyle, which allows us to experience these feelings, without conscious focus. There are definitely things we can do (or stop doing) that increase the duration and depth of our feelings of happiness.

Selina: Can you share with my readers, why do you love what you do?

I love experiencing the feelings of happiness and joy and connection. And one of the quickest ways to experience more of those emotions is to help others experience more of them too. I have also decided that the purpose of life is to fully express our authentic self, in a way that also serves others. So if I spend my time helping others to experience more joy and health in their lives (in an authentic Carl Massy kind of way), I will not only experience more joy and health in my own life, but I will be living a life rich with purpose. What’s not to love about that? 😉

Selina: Please share with us your top 5 strategies for generating happiness & health?

Only 5? 😉

  1. Move our entire bodies a lot more than we currently do (for physical and mental health). Tal Ben-Sharar, former Harvard Professor says, ‘Not exercising is like taking a depressant.’
  2. Mediate daily. Our modern lifestyles demand this practice. Benefits are numerous but include deactivating the stress response and even changing how genes are expressed in our bodies.
  3. Eat a lot more plant-based whole foods, to crowd out processed foods. They are nutrient rich, and absolutely essential for complete physical and mental health.
  4. Consciously choose your goals. Choose goals that are good for you, good for others, and good for the greater good. The better goals you choose, the more fulfilling your life will be.
  5. Slow down and increase the level of your consciousness. Become conscious enough to challenge your beliefs, your stories, your thoughts, your habits, your behaviours, your past results, your future expectations. Consciousness is the best tool to co-create the future of our dreams.

I know I was only allowed 5, but I want to add one more –

KNOW that you have more POTENTIAL in you. Know that you can be 20 times better. You have power that is, as yet, untapped. We all have.

Selina: When we love what we do, it is not work. I would love to know what drives your passion?

I am passionate about knowledge. I love to learn. I love to understand. I love to figure things out. I love to work out what little thing makes all the difference when it comes to people and their results. I love people. I love working out how to improve things. I love sharing. I love teaching. I guess in the end it is my love for all of these things that drives me; so I guess I am driven by the feelings I experience when I do these things. The same could be said for everyone. The more we do those things we love to do, the more passion (fuel) we create. So as you said, discover what you love to do. And do more of that.

Selina: What are your plans for the year of 2015?

Since my passions are learning and sharing, I am on a mission this year to inform people about what it really takes to optimize their health. Most of the ‘stuff’ we are told about health is incomplete or totally wrong. This totally pisses me off! So this year my mission is to share the knowledge I have learned about optimizing health. In The Guidebook to Optimum Health, I have consolidated the knowledge from 100’s of books, my work with 100’s of clients and my own personal health experiences to inform people what they have been missing, and the lies they have been told. Most people (and medical professionals) totally miss the essential keys to health. If you care about your own health, or know someone who is ‘sick’ you really need to grab a copy! (Editor Note – here is the link 😉 http://www.carlmassy.com/books ).

I will also be running our small Exclusive Life Coach Training Course in Bali in June 2015, and a MindBody Detox Retreat in Bali in September 2015.

This was the sunrise one morning while I was at the course last year!!!
This was the sunrise one morning while I was at the course last year!!!

Thanks a lot for asking me such thought-provoking questions too Selina. All the best for 2015 to you and your readers!!

Thanks Carl!!

I have loved having you visit!! Always great to share knowledge and create new networks! Check out Carl’s recent adventures (visiting Brisbane is just one of them!!!) including the launch of his new book over at https://www.facebook.com/CarlMassyPage

Networking in Brisbane March 2015
Networking in Brisbane
Body Image, Body Love, Celebrate, Happiness, Love, Self awareness, Self Confidence, Self Love, Tips

13 things you can do today, to LOVE your body a little more

In the spirit all things LOVE, (although I don’t believe that we should have to be reminded to tell someone we love them due to a hallmark card day, but that is just me 😉 )….I started to reflect on what it really means to LOVE….be LOVE….give LOVE & in the interest of SELF LOVE – what are you doing each day to show yourself LOVE?18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle

Recenlty , I have notice more and more, how much we are blaming/shaming/comparing our beautiful bodies for not being this, or being that – WTF??!

So here you go, a few tips on giving some LOVE to that Gorgeous, Divine, Sexy, Beautiful, One and Only body!

  1. Move your body – Be grateful that it moves with ease and grace; some people ain’t so lucky to have that freedom & choice – so go for a walk, do some yoga, dance in the kitchen to your favourite song – feel yourself move!
  2. Feel – Think about a time when you felt amazing! Harness that feeling -feel it in every cell of your body – hold that thought for a few minutes – you will feel better instantly!
  3. Underneath Sexy – A good friend of mine is a Tantic Sex Coach & I alway remember her advice to me – Wear underwear that makes you feel alive and sexy! It is underneath your clothes; on your skin…reminding you how beautiful you are and how sexy you feel….you will smile just thinking about it 😉
  4. Meditate – Visualise your body being healthy – your mind is an amazing tool – go outside for 5 minutes during your lunch break or first thing in the morning – just spend some time with yourself. (ps. you could even take yourself on a date…..???)
  5. Accept – This is your one and only body – treasure it, it is a temple, you one and only place to reside….so start to decorate it, enjoy it and LOVE it – beeause it will thrive on that!
  6. Support – Spend time around people who will inspire you & lift you up – get out and about with theses people – do things you LOVE- get together and train together
  7. Mantra – stop your bullshit self talk! I am so fat – or I am not pretty enough – blah! That lanugage doesn’t serve you, beside you are not fat – you have fat – instead try -I am beautiful because I am beautiful!
  8. Role Model – Think of your faviourite female role model – channel the things you admire about her – get your Oprah on 😉
  9. SLEEP!! Rest and rejunvinate your body and mind – you think clearer, you are more focused and effective. Sleep is your friend….allow yourself a sleep in or a pj day even! 🙂
  10. Acknowledgement – Stop focusing on what you don’t like – start to appreicate what you do like – the colour of your eyes – hair – the shape of your breasts  – legs.
  11. STOP comparing – The only person you should be in competition with – is yourself!
  12. ASK those around you what they LOVE about you (because you are more than just a body) and then put them up on your wall and read them everyday!
  13. Self pleasure – turn off the TV, close the laptop, put your phone on silent and go indulge in some self pleasure fun time – enjoy your body and the amazing release that an orgasm can bring you……

 SELF love has no conditions – it is right now!

So how will you nourish & love your mind, your body today? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below x

Body Image, Choice, Happiness, Life style, Love, Self Love

ENOUGH…OR AM I too much???

“Why am I not enough??”

WTF? I hear you say??? It’s true…it has come to my attention that I have been operating from the place of “I am NOT enough”. So what do you do? Well – logically, you move as you are not a tree or if you don’t have enough of something – you go get it! Right?

Yet in the world emotional eating – “Have you had enough?” never has seemed that simple.

We keep going because we fear on missing out on something – that last bite…or I will never get to eat this again (have this feeling with this action again…) so we keep going, even though we know it is not good for us – body – mind – soul – this is not just emotional/psychological side -it is also medical/physcial side – I will share more on that later.

Recently I posted on Facebook a Memo for Today – as I had been in conversation with a coach-in-training,  around “Being Enough” – what is that all about? and When do you know you have had enough…and have become enough…

MISSING THE MESSAGES, ODDLY ENOUGH..

‘I am Enough, as I am!” – no matter how many times I have seen this over the last couple of year…I didn’t really pay attention.  It came again in the same week,  as I was speaking with a friend, who I have known for many years now and I was sharing with her some frustrations and confusion around some recently events – She has watched me change and grow over the last few years & at the end of the conversation, she said to me – “Selina, you are enough – just as you are! – it is all within you!”

LET”S PRESS PAUSE, SHALL WE! 

In the world of body image and low self-esteem, when we being the search to ‘fix ourselves” thinking we are broken or flawed, because we assume we don’t fit in or we are rejected because we are not as pretty or as thin as the other girl or we feel trapped because we are pretending to be something we are not; We view things from our ‘stories – our past’ instead of looking at what we have become and how amazing this thing called life, really is. When you realise you are enough right here, right now – you realise how often the question pops up……“So why am I not enough?”    

(This way of being has been the default for so long – and yet we keep thinking that something is “wrong” or that you need to be “more” or to be “perfect” – hard pattern to break and the shock of realising that you had the answer all along, is why I had to press the PAUSE BUTTON! )

UNPAUSE NOW!
My mentor said to me over a year ago –” Just allow yourself to be enough” – I didn’t know how to do this at the time.  As I learn more – I evolve – and I do this to be the best version of me – not for anyone else (old pattern) – because it is my life, my choice and I am NOW happy being me.

Yet recently I was seeing a guy, who after 3 months of dating, changed his mind about our relationship continuing.  He told me that I am everything he wants (quote – “you tick all of the boxes”) – but I don’t see a long-term future with you and I don’t know why? 

In shock at this, I asked the question – “Am I not enough for you?”  –  he responded “You are amazing”.  So then I asked….” Am I to demanding of your time?”  – he responded “No – you don’t demand too much of my time; you are the perfect balance’. “So then what is it?”  – he responded with “I don’t know”.  And there it was – in that moment or moments leading up to the conversation (who knows…) – it wasn’t enough for him -(not me) and perhaps he never will know what his ‘enough’ measure is. 

After the shock, anger and confusion wore off, over the next few days I began to move into gratitude and then I started to wonder….how much do we really hide behind the “I don’t know”, is it that we don’t trust ourselves to know or measure what is ‘enough’ within us before seeking it externally? whether it is in our careers; hobbies or food…or it is a way of hiding because we don’t feel enough?And if we really want to measure ‘enough’ – how do we do that? Because really isn’t ENOUGH a measure of space and time in our heads? And isn’t that a thought and can’t a thought can be changed?? (good lesson hey!) 

EMOTIONALLY EATING OF THE ENOUGH

For years – when I thought I was never ‘enough”  – I never felt complete or satisfied or loved for who I was. So I ate – I ate for wholeness – happiness – love – I ate to stop myself feeling the emptyness…the anger…the sadness….the envy – that everyone else had what they wanted…and I didn’t.

When you realise that no matter how much cake or ice-cream or chocolate you eat – nothing that these item will give you, (the 5 seconds of pleasure for the years of pain you are hiding) will be enough….you crave another way….a way out of the cycle of NOT ENOUGH!

You realise that it is not about them – the bullies or the rejection of the job or the man no longer wanting you or the ice cream – it is about you – trusting that despite it all – You are Enough – say it with me;  “I am enough” – because enough is being present within the you, you are. (Ps. Oh and by the way – after the conversation with him – no comfort eating! I was present with my emotions; felt it; acknowledged it and processed it, because I am enough, as I am! Woohoo!!)

NEW LEARNINGS

When you realise you are enough; apologies -when I realised that I am ENOUGH; that I am NOT needy; nor I am TOO DEMANDING or EMOTIONAL or too focused on myself – you are willing to do the work and what it takes to have what you want and you also want the man who has done his work on himself both in actions and words. From here, you move into a new phase of awareness and start to research to understand more about what you have done in your life and to your body in the past and how now to best support it going forward – not just emotionally but physically; spiritually and medically. So let me introduce to you; ghrelin & leptin.

Ghrelin is produced in the stomach, and cues the brain that you’re hungry – important 🙂  After you eat, leptin talks to the brain and says you are full!  However, if these two hormones decide they aren’t ‘enough’ and stop communicating, you may lose the ability to recognize when your body is full & overeat as a result.

The other thing to consider is your Cortisol levels. We live in such high states of stress and pressure causing the body into over drive. Cortisol is designed to spike to provide the body with a quick dose of energy – ie; if you are being chased by a Lion – you would get a really quick hit! However in our world today; with the high levels of stress,  our cortisol levels stay at that peak and the impact that this causes has shown up in suppression of the immune system and weight gain around the stomach area.

You can force or flow in your choices and yet we seems to choose the hardest path because that is what we are taught. I refuse to settle for less in myself anymore and it is the same for thoses around me; including the man I date – I refuse to watch YOU settle for being less than you have the potential for – so yes I will push; challenge; nurture and love you – whether you are a friend; a client or a partner. Because you are incredible…I believe in you.

NOW what if you changed and learnt a new way to define yourself?

What if you and I accept that not everyone is going to agree or like or love us – that is ok – because acceptance of yourself is what counts…it is more than enough.

When you change the pace and make the choice to connect with yourself everyday  – with gratitude and forgiveness – it is not selfish; it is essential – Suddenly you get clarity and things just arrive! Yes there will still be tough times…bumps in the road…glitches in the system…however, if you change your thinking to a new level of desire – I deserve to have what I want – you stop doubting that you are not enough.

Knowing and trusting that your level of enough, is & will be different to everyone else’s, is ok. ENOUGH is about BEING – being you in your skin, on your terms!

SO SPEND SOME TIME EXPLORING THIS –
  • What is my level of ENOUGH? How do I want to measure it? What is important to me? (You might surprise yourself!)
  • Be patient with yourself! It takes time to change and create new habits – change the thought from “I am not enough’ to “I am enough, as I am”.
  • Be present – Connect with yourself about HOW you feel – if you feel anger that is ok – it might actually only be a small amount of anger, if you actually allow yourself to feel it – give yourself space to be in the moment – we don’t have to be 100% happy all the time.
  • Get a good night’s sleep! Research has shown that exercise and stress reduction may help keep ghrelin levels in check – so aim for about 8-hours 🙂 
  • Have fun – Be silly – allow yourself the opportunity to explore the new realm increase your enjoyment; for example: Try Laughter Yoga to make you feel good…not the ice cream or cake! 
  • Love the journey – when you feel content, confident and empowered – you step up with fire and focus!

So my beautiful ones – “You are enough, just as you are!” You don’t need that extra piece of cake or a certain number on the scale or the most ‘likes’ on a Facebook status; STOP settling for less…REFUSE the thought that you aren’t enough and go beyond the ordinary way of being.

I declare that I am 100% prepared to set and stand by my standards of what is possible in my life; myself and my relationship -I am worth it and Now I insist on it! AND my desire is for you, to insist on it too!

I am Enough; just as I am – Whole – Complete – Beautiful- Amazing me.

Ps.Oh and next time someone comes along; he will also insist on it as well! He will know what he wants, with no fear of change or fear of his desires; He will recognises my full potential as well as his own & won’t be afraid to go after the adventure; He will let go of the excuses and live into his standard of extraordinary and as well mine;  He will know that he is more than enough; as I am and that, makes for a pretty powerful combination of forces, don’t you think? 😉

enoughme

Celebrate, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Mental Health, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

Jumping for Joy!

About 18months ago someone asked me; Can you give yourself permission to feel the joy in the moment???!!!??

My immediate reaction was; No!

So now I am asking you……..Can you give yourself permission to feel the JOY in the moment???!!!??

Joy

Mmm..What is JOY?

It is defined as; “a feeling of great pleasure and happiness”. Other words include – delight; bliss; rapture; glee;  and triumph!

Yet, at the time….I couldn’t understand, WHY I couldn’t I give myself permission to feel it? Through out my life (& it has become more apparent since I started my journey of transformation), I have noticed that as human beings, we stop or don’t allow ourselves, to feel certain things/emotions/reactions???

So I became to wonder…..when did we start thinking that we had to have other people’s permission to feel or NOT to feel?

So  today, I wanted to share with you some tips to explore this further for yourself – (10 mins tops I promise!)

  • Awareness is the first step….

Feelings…Emotions…Expression…Reaction…Awareness.

Acknowledging how we feel is important for our everyday living – our emotions/thoughts have a massive impact on our lives – yet we are so bound by a ‘system’ that says we all have to ‘be a certain way’. And while it is important to respect others; when did we stop respecting ourselves.

I realised that holding back and allowing the ‘negative’ thoughts/emotions; was only damaging me – no one else – because no one actually knew how I felt plus it reflected in my body (weight – insomnia – anxiety) – and in my life!

So start to just notice the emotions (now I am not saying burst out with everything all at once…no one wants a hole in the wall, should you explode)…..but just at lunchtime today…take some time to check in with yourself – ask the question; “How am I feeling right now?

  • Listen…

Next – just notice where that feeling is in your body….listen to that feeling….be aware of it…what happened today that you just dismissed? Start to listen to your self as the incredible human being that you are…..you are important…

  • Acknowledge it…

Regardless of the emotion (anger; love; sadness; joy) just allow it to be – and then “thank” the emotion for bring to your attention where you are not giving yourself permission to feel and BE honest with you – it is not serving anyone by dismissing how you are feeling. Have you ever noticed that how emotions can spread….if you smile at someone…they can’t help but smile back at you 😉

Next step…. 

This is where you start to notice a shift – it will take time…..however for me, I noticed that when I was honest with myself and gave myself permission to feel the emotion…it didn’t take long to move on to another one (ie; if I was pissed off…feeling it and allowing it to be (or writing it down…..) made room for the next emotion…I started to notice that I felt happy more than I felt sad. That feeling both is normal…every emotion is right – we have them for a reason.

NOW I do feel JOY and I can give myself permission to FEEL it – because it isn’t as scary as I thought and it actually takes less energy to feel and acknowledge than it does to shove down with food as was my previous coping strategy!

JOY is more than happiness; pleasure; delight; bliss; rapture; glee & triumph….Joy is whatever you want it to be!

Your JOY can be allowing yourself to feel happy or giving yourself permission to love & start dating again…or JUMPING UP & DOWN when you achieve that big contract at work!!!

JOY is more than just that…or it can be as simple as that….you get to decide your reaction 🙂

ACTION…

So this weekend…take some time out of your day…(yes I know you are busy; but this is a great little exercise plus 1 hour is 4% of your day..you have time to give yourself 4% of your day!)

  • Write down all of the things that bring JOY to you……
  • Then write down all of the things that are JOY to you…..
  • Then write down all of the things that you do that STOP JOY from being in you….
  • Then start to make a plan…..Reduce the inflammation in your life and make room for JOY!

For me now….JOY is every cell in my body working together to be the best version of me – JOY is Being awesome in the moment! 

This week, I have started writing in my journal again….just a few lines every morning upon waking…..

So today…I wanted to REALLY feel JOY –

Feel the joy of the sun on my skin…

Feel the joy of a hug from someone I love….

Feel the joy of breathing air into my lungs….

Feel the joy of being alive! 

So why not now…JUMP FOR JOY – right at your computer! Make it your self-expression today – to feel your own definition of JOYjumpfor joy

I would love to know what your definition of JOY is – share below 🙂

 

Oh and at the end of the week… a few photos to celebrate Little Miss Fabulousness turning 1!

Celebrate, FOCUS, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Self Confidence

Taking the leap………what’s the purpose??

Lately, people keep asking me the same question…………………

“How did you work out what your purpose in life is?”

Mmmm ok good question…then I find myself asking them back; “What is the purpose behind your question???”….

My Answer: The purpose is not the end goal……. it is a series of actions and results; that continue to occur as my drive to live by my core desire/values, aligns with the world.

Taking the leap……

As we have discussed before…as much as I would love there to be a MAGIC WAND….there aren’t any & it is different for everyone.

For me; I always wanted to help others; however for years I used it as a reason of NOT dealing with my own life; because I didn’t think I was worth having what I really wanted……so I will just give and give and give and one day it will all sort it self out.

(Editor’s note: You can guess of course that never happened….when you ignore something long enough….it kind of stops functioning….everything needs a little TLC).

I didn’t need a SOLID FOOL PROOF PLAN either…(I had a plan for everything…and would set myself up to fail – unconscious self sabotage…to prove that nothing I ever wanted I could get)……..this time around….TAKING THE LEAP…..I had an idea…..I did the work….I breathed (A LOT!!)….I trusted myself (for the 1st time in years) and then I let go (which was the hardest part….HELL was that the hardest part!!)….and it unfolded……

So you are asking me the purpose of it all- well I am no guru like Eckhart Tolle – incredible man! For me….it is MY LIFE – I don’t want to just exist – I WANT TO BE EXTRAORDINARY and be the  BEST VERSION OF ME; to be a contribution in the world, to inspire others to be the best versions of themselves – SIMPLE 🙂

Next question:

“Now that you have transformed…what was the purpose of it all?”

Well….firstly – the transformation hasn’t stopped…(that is why nothing worked before; because I thought I had to ‘get it somewhere’ instead of enjoying the journey); ….or a better way to describe it is Evolution -it is incredible to take in a new view point and gain a deeper understanding of the world…..and the purpose…..well….it is like the seasons; every year they show up and do what they are designed to do………better than the year before 🙂

Ok…Ok…..I know you want more……so here it is…

The PURPOSE

I want to be healthy in body; mind & heart! 

(Yes; I want to look good in size 12 jeans….but it goes way beyond that – I want it all – the connection; I want to feel good too!)

To be the best VERSION of myself I can be!

To stop hiding and live life to the fullest!

What is the purpose of that? Because I want to be fit and glow with vitality & radiance! 

What is the purpose of that? Because I want to live until I am 101!!

What is the purpose of that? Because I have so much I want to do and see in the world! 

What is the purpose of that? Because I was to inspire others to be the best versions of themselves!

What is the purpose of that? Because I want to bring compassion and service to the world!

What is the purpose of that? Because I want to be able to teach my children to be the best versions of themselves – the world is an extraordinary and challenging place at times & they will have have to deal with; and with what I have learnt I can pass on the tools to help learn to be the best versions of themselves; to make positive contribution to the world.

AND the purpose of all of this starts with me taking care of myself from the inside-out, so that I can do all of this and more while aligning it to my core values and passion. AND look it keeps going….for a long time; but you get the idea…..

Packing for the Leap! 

I had to stop running old and not-useful patterns; the same thing kept showing up – I was enjoying my life and my work – but I wanted more…..I wanted to contribute to the world in a big way – I wanted to leave a legacy and I wanted to make a living doing it……however I kept setting unrealistic goals…..so I would cancel the plans….everything had to be perfect…..

I created a quote recently – “Perfectionism is Procrastination in a Prom Dress!”

So I adjusted the approach……Switch the goals…..to a ZONE…..and change your packing approach – STOP trying to cram it all in at once….be creative!

The more I thought about it; the more I realised that, with my new insight and a new level of confidence; I trusted myself more; that even if I didn’t ‘pack it all in the one bag for the journey’, I am savvy enough to deliver & make my life work, no matter where I am.

So what is the trick to taking the leap to unleash your purpose – Unleashing your Fabulousness?

  • STOP comparing – we are all on our own journey – stop letting your ego run the show and start listening to your heart – start focusing on the people around you who inspire you and connect with them – BE YOURSELF!
  • Listen to your language – your patterns are hidden in what you say – your thoughts create your world
  • GIVE yourself permission to give to yourself…..time…it is an incredible gift & it is FREE!!
  • RECEIVE – everything exists in balance – if someone wants to pay for your coffee to say thank you; let them 🙂 (ps. you wouldn’t give back a birthday gift – so allow people the gift of giving; be open to receiving from them & watch it flow).
  • JOURNAL!! Get your thoughts out of your head – gain some clarity; focus; peace….your heart will tell you what it wants if you listen….
  • BE bold – Unleash your dreams…What is your ideal day? Ideal holiday? Ideal home? Ideal Partner? Ideal Relationship?

Your purpose should you chose to accept it; is entirely up to you! 

Walkway through reeds

News!!! It is celebration time this month……Happy 1st Birthday Fabulousness Unleashed!!! and just in time to share with you my recent photo shoot!! YAY! 

Merci to Anthony Maragou for his artist photography for this week’s blog.

Body Image, Celebrate, Choice, Determination, Fitness, FOCUS, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Mental Health, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

Spring into Soul September – 20 things to think about…….

What an incredible morning!!

I am sitting here on my balcony with the sun warming my skin before starting work……..and loving how blessed I am to do this simple action; in a peaceful; healthy city; a place where I can give myself permission to just BE 🙂

(Which now as I write this; feels like I have champagne bubbles of energy floating around me!!)

You-Are-My-Sunshine

With this sunshine moment – HELLO SPRING!!!! – It got me thinking…………..how much I have noticed of late; that as a society; we have slipped back into getting lost in the negative spirals of things that aren’t in our control……

LIKE WHAT?? Well, Why someone doesn’t listen the way we want them too? OR How rude someone was to you in that line while waiting to get coffee!!?? OR Why is it always so hard to get what you want?? OR  Why after trying so hard for so long; am I not losing weight? OR Why is the service so slow? OR Why is it so expensive to buy fuel???

Theses are just some of the things I have heard of late…..Is it that we have simply just forgotten or is it that we have stopped acknowledging the beautiful world around us???? When did we start taking the most amazing gift of simply just living; of simply just being – just being us – you – me 🙂 – for granted?????

With so any different ways to “connect”with others happening at any one time…….do we really ‘connect’? I have asked this many times over the last few months, as it feels like we have lost the ability to just connect in general not just to everyone else; but to ourselves…..and sadly we have over the last few weeks lost so many incredible souls from this world and it made me wonder………

When did we stop nourishing ourselves and when it become at a cost of losing ourselves?

THE GIFT OF BEING ALIVE!

As most of you know my journey to loving myself has been a rocky road; a roller coaster and endless rabbit holes tumbles…..

So many emotions; AHH moments; changes; breakdowns and triumphs! Looking back now; I LOVE all of it – I realised that it is all part of the journey….it is called BEING ALIVE! 

Lately though there has been a significant shift to a world of contentment and peace….. of incredible gratitude to my mind and my body on how far I have really come. With so much going on in the world; I find now that I no longer want to turn on the news and see more destruction or war……..I know that I need to be more present in what I do and the impact that can have…I want to make a difference in the world; in how women see each other; how they see themselves; within themselves.

And that starts with me…I am your reflection….I know that there is a lot more to unpack; however the fear has been replaced by adventure and a balance that I haven’t had in a long time – nourishing myself in every aspect not just in food or time or money or things.

So here are a few little things that have nourished my soul; my mind and hence my body over the winter months….so a little thank you my body and my mind.

Thank you to you for reading; as I wanted to share theses with you; to remind you to love the body you are in – no matter your age; shape; gender or position in the world.

Loving you – starts within you 🙂 

  1. BREATHE!! Stop and take some deep breaths – right now – really breathe…..it is amazing 🙂 plus you will instantly feel better!
  2. BE grateful – spend 5 minutes each morning just saying “Thank you” to your body 🙂
  3. Celebrate all that your body can do!!! Work on a plan to achieve new levels of movement – whether it is a new yoga pose or jogging for an extra minute or doing an extra pushup or walking a different route to view a new part of your city.
  4. REMOVE CAN”T & TRY from your vocabulary – You’ve got this – shift your mindset….one piece at a time –  you have 1 life 🙂 enjoy it!
  5. Acknowledge your own uniqueness – there is no one else in the world who is you or like you! HOW FREAKIN’ awesome is that!
  6. Celebrate your success – share your wins – don’t be shy – how will anyone know if you don’t tell them 🙂
  7. Tell the little voice in your head to get off at the next bus stop; YOU ARE YOU – defined by your personality; gifts and contribution to the world not your weight on a scale; your shoe size or dress size! 
  8. Do something for yourself that feels good – for me this week – a massage 🙂 oh and giving myself permission to sleep in!
  9. STOP with the excuses – write down everything that is holding you back – and then read it out loud until you laugh at yourself – change the way you view the excuses – you just might surprise yourself.
  10. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up; inspire you and have your back (by the way; if people try to pull you down; you are already above their level!)
  11. When looking at FACEBOOK or Magazine – remember what you are seeing is someone’s end results – you haven’t seen the years of training; nutrition nor do you have that person’s genetics (and yes I know that it is also photo shopped as well)- so STOP COMPARING! 
  12. Recently I had a photo shoot (it was incredible!!!) I was very clear that I didn’t want any changes made – however I saw my scars and stetchmarks on my breasts in one of the photos and asked if that could be ‘touched up’ – the photographer smile at me and said “Every lady I have shot, has stretchmarks; it is a beautiful thing how women’s bodies adapt – so I can but then it is not  you”.
  13. I have discovered the fun in exercise and movement again – YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  and since I have found it again – I noticed that – it is trueno one is actually looking at me while I am exercising (OK; yes my instructor is – she is great and is helping me modify in certain moves so I still get a work out but don’t aggravate my lower back) – everyone is focused on their workout – their results – SO who cares how much you sweat??!!!- it means that your body is working and moving!! Thank you body for working and moving 🙂
  14. Stop turning to food to validate your beautiful self! I know for me; for so long food was used as a reward; (childhood) So why not find something else to reward yourself with; for being you – like a sleep in or a good laugh at a movie with a friend or some quiet time outside in the sun – I also want to you look at why the food is the comfort in the first place??
  15. Give yourself permission to slow down live in the moment instead of jumping ahead……..(you know the old saying – fit your own oxygen mask first before helping others)
  16. Start valuing you; for you! – When did stop trusting your choice – your intuition???? Write a list and work on one thing a day or a week if it is too much…..trust in your choice – you chose that reaction – take responsibility for it – STARTING RIGHT NOW!
  17. Drink more water – Are you serious – YES I AM GOD DAMN SERIOUS!! Your body is made up of 75% water – replenish it – you won’t want to grab for the other things as much…..like the coke or the ice coffee or the wine….
  18. Do something for a stranger – something little – like clean out your clothes or items in the house you don’t use anymore….give them to people who needs them – offer to walk your neighbour’s dog – For me – every few weeks I pick a bin in my apartment complex and I put it out for that person 🙂
  19. Write a card or a letter to someone to acknowledge who they are for you – win – win – as you both feel amazing – or offer to babysit for a friend so her and her husband can have a date night……
  20. Play your favourite music – DANCE – LAUGH – BE A SILLY JELLYBEAN – SING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS! I danced around the house the other day just because and GOD it felt great! 🙂
  21. BONUS POINT – When you look in the mirror today – SMILE – that beautiful; gorgeous; sexy; incredible beingSHE IS AMAZING and all she has wanted you to do is to love and accept her just as she is and once you stop fighting with her……….you will be amaze at what starts to flow into you life……..

Please share below what you are going to do today to nourish yourself….. 🙂  I would love to know 🙂

bodylove

Next week’s postExcuses – a sheep in wolf’s clothing or a Wolf wearing PJ’s??….what are you really hiding???

Body Image, Choice, Determination, FOCUS, Happiness, Health, Life style, Mental Health, Passion, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

red_riding_hood_1_by_costurero_real-d3abg62

I don’t know about you…….but I can’t stand it when people tell me not to panic!

Really – the last word you hear is ‘panic’ and telling me not to do something – well the rebel in me is going to want to do it because you said not too!

When we Panic – we don’t make rationale or logical decisions…… Panic is an emotional response – flight or fight.

Right now – the fight in me has gone…. and I just want to fly – because you know what…it looks like heaps more fun!

A beautiful Soul Sister said to me the other night – “It is Ok to want to run to your destination as long as it is you running towards your desire and not away from what you don’t want to deal with”. 

Sometimes you know you are on the right path; yet in the very pit of your stomach; you realise that you can’t be everything to everyone and I am choosing not to stay this way to please others. And has I have said many times before; If you aren’t comfortable or like who I am then that is OK too – you can leave at anytime – the door is to your right….just don’t block the traffic.

Lessons from Fairy Tales….

In the past we had Fairy Tales or Fables,  to help us learn how to guide our morale compass. The Big Bad Wolf in Little Red Riding Hood – don’t talk to strangers……(or was he misunderstood over the years and was craving acceptance to be loved for who he was…??) .

How about Little Red Riding Hood; could the Wolf have been her spirit….her internal dialogue? When she wanted to hide from the world…or maybe run free….she turned into the Wolf……????

Everyone has their story and it depends at the time of your exposure to it – how you relate to it.

Recently; I saw the adaption of Maleficent; the Evil Witch in Sleeping Beauty – this version showed that she was misunderstood – a broken heart; a burnt soul; wings of self expression destroyed – it takes a lot to heal that and yes – it was her reaction to the betrayal that created her new persona – yet she also realised that she could control her response – change her reaction and heal……she also, through the learning from another;  was able to uncover what love really meant for her.

So you realise too that; in all of theses stories – power is not evil – you can be calm and feel powerfully grounded – even if you are wrong; you can acknowledge this – grow from it.  Then we learn that when you push against your soul connection and force it to be something it is not -or to look a certain way or to be a certain way that doesn’t align with you; that is when you are turning against your inner desires and things stop working.

So my point is – I was afraid for a long time; I was afraid of the “Wolf”/”Maleficent” in me – and then I wasn’t…. – because the Big Bad Wolf was just misunderstood……the emotions and the reactions I was having – were misunderstood.

mindofadiva

Recent realisation…………a BIG HOLY SHIT MOMENT!

Look lets cut through the Bullshit – I know most of us have something that we don’t like about ourselves – I am not sure when it started or why it happens…..or what you don’t like….I personally think everyone is beautiful because there is no one else like you!

I know some people; they think they have a crooked smile; or they don’t like their nose or they feel that their eyes are too small… And even though we may get upset about our imperfections, they don’t interfere with our daily lives.

However in all of my transformational journey, the learning’s and experience about my feelings around my body; it wasn’t just about my self worth or imperfections that I saw…..It was recently pointed out to me that there is a disorder that for some people their real or perceived flaws consumed them for hours each day and prevent them from living………and HOLY SHIT – I realised that this had been me…..

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).

According to the Better Health website (Victoria government): it can be defined as-http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Body_dysmorphic_disorder_(BDD)?open

“Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental illness in which people constantly worry about the way they look. They may believe an inconspicuous or non-existent physical attribute is a serious defect. Consequently, they may stay at home or keep their appearance hidden. Treatment includes cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) and antidepressant drugs.”

I had been so ashamed of myself – my body – some days I was at a loss of what to do……hence further information advised of……

  • Can’t control their negative thoughts and don’t believe people who tell them that they look fine.
  • Their thoughts may cause severe emotional distress and interfere with their daily functioning.
  • They may miss work or school, avoid social situations and isolate themselves, even from family and friends, because they fear others will notice their flaws.
  • They may even undergo unnecessary plastic surgeries to correct perceived imperfections, never finding satisfaction with the results.

For years; in my head – (I felt like I had the Big Bad Wolf inside of me at times) – there were times that for days on end; I would isolate myself because of my ‘flaws’; and when people said you are beautiful – for me – they were lying; my negative thoughts were out of control and yes surgery did enter my head – I wanted to completely change the defected body I thought I had.

You see the thing is; no one talks about this – not one Doctor when I told them of my thoughts and feelings – the downward spiral; acknowledged that this disorder even existed – I was just depressed/fat/lazy- (Please note; that depression is a part of it; so please seek out support).

It is only recently that I have discovered what this is all about and how occurs for some on a very extreme level.

 

I was also told that “Eating disorders are just more extreme versions of the exact same issues that we all have with eating. Technically everyone who struggled with their weight has disordered eating in some form or another.” 

If you would like read more about what is being done; check out the link below from the USA:

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/ways-spot-body-dysmorphic-disorder/story?id=2502703

Acknowledging the Big Bad Wolf; she was misunderstood……

I am so grateful for this new knowledge and the incredible opportunity to not only heal myself through new techniques; I know it is not an easy process and for others the journey has been and will be very different.

I have been able to create a shift in beliefs; my values and with daily habits of self-love – to move forward….I am no longer afraid of the Big Bad Wolf – she is pretty cool – she walks beside me now; instead of in my head – AND now; the more I learn; the more I can help others through their journey of self realisation.

Look – some of you will disagree;  and some won’t know what to say – all I know is that issues like Eating Disorders/Depression are not something that people talk about – it is almost like we are afraid….afraid that we won’t know the ‘right thing to say” or “what to do” – but you know what – the biggest gift in my shifting out of the fear and into the flight – to SOAR in my life – was someone asking me – “isn’t it time for you??”;  they listened; acknowledged and then showing me the tools so that I could take 100% responsibility for myself and my life – it wasn’t easy – but now; as I continue to learn; evolve and gain more knowledge – there is no looking back!!!

Ps. Including……a photo shoot!! and I can’t wait to share them with you!! Some will be for my website and others will just be for me 🙂

New Chapter….

As some of you may have read; recently it was announced on my Facebook Page of my exciting news and the amazing opportunity that my journey has taken me on!!

I am now working as a Client Service Manager for My Mind Coach…… http://mymindcoach.com.au/welcoming-selina/!!!! Now I get to serve others to help get them where they want to go in life; so that they can love themselves and shine brighter than ever!  Just as the incredible Kylie did for me 18 months ago 🙂

Words can’t express how my life has changed and the overflow of gratitude that I have for her support and encouragement to take a leap and soar!

Watch this space!!!!

Choice, Happiness, Life style, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

What does happiness mean for you?

It is a beautiful thing…the emotion; the feeling; the thought; the idea of happy 🙂

But what does it really mean??

We are taught that happiness is the answer to everything….afterall…didn’t most of our stories in our childhood, end with……”and they lived happily ever after”?

The word describes an emotion; a way in which we are told how to feel…but is being happy like any other emotion; or is it just a word?

What does happiness mean to you???

For some; they will tell you for them..it is unattainable….

For others; they will tell you that for them….it is easy to achieve…

For you -the list could be endless…..how exciting!!!!!!!!!!!

For me…..I have learnt that it is many things…..yet the question I have been asking of late is….when did we decide that we knew what happiness was to another and when did we allow others to tell us how to be happy?

happy

For me; there are a number of things that make me smile and generate the feeling of happiness within me……

I can’t list them all; but tonight was reminded that it is Ok for to have an ‘off day’ and it is Ok to acknowledge that I want to live an extraordinary life and feel ravishing….

So here are a few little things that light me up…..that generate what I like to call, “the happy bug” in me ……and after reading them…..my invitation to you is to take some time at the start of this new month….and look into yourself and acknowledge how far you have come, what you are up too in this life, what happiness is to you and if it is not there as much as you would like…..go have some fun & discover a way to bring the happy bug back into your life – your way – your rules.

Little things that generate the happy bug in me;

  • Waking up in the morning……………..
  • Sunsets from a mountain top
  • Dancing – in the kitchen while cooking………..slow dancing with my partner in the living room……..dancing til sunrise with my girlfriends………..dancing with a baby while singing them to sleep
  • Sitting by the river in the sun…..
  • A great brunch location with friends
  • Donating my time and energy to a good cause
  • Giving away things to people who need them more than me
  • Having people at my dinner table
  • Music – listening………..live and singing in the car with the window down!
  • Buying new clothes for the first time in ages….with no guilt!
  • Hearing Laughter – and laughing so hard that you cry
  • Hugs – HUGS -HUGS! (esp from my mum!)
  • Having cuddles with my puppy Sooty…right up until she passed away at the age of 19yrs old – ( yes…thinking of her makes me feeling happy and yes i miss the cuddles still)
  • The smell of fresh mint
  • Seeing an elderly couple holding hands as they walk along the beach
  • The ocean at sunrise -watching the world wake up and feeling like the luckiest person alive
  • The ocean at sunset – wrapped up in a blanket
  • Waking up early only to realise that I can sleep in 🙂
  • Seeing love in others
  • Receiving gratitude from someone for your help whether it is telling them that they have landed their dream role or if by a coaching session I gave them a while back; they have seen the difference in themselves…..
  • A new born baby smell
  • Watching a classic film – like Casablanca on a Sunday afternoon
  • Being love
  • Receiving a massage and a facial!
  • Giving love
  • A good book with a blanket and a cup of tea on my favourite chair while it is raining outside
  • Cooking for people I love
  • Reading a story to a child
  • Buying fresh flowers and filling the house with them
  • Wandering through an antique store…..wondering about the stories of each item…
  • Being in airport…..
  • Getting so lost in the book that you lose track of time…..
  • A great tasting coffee – in Italy – France – New York – New Zealand – Melbourne……..
  • Sharing an “ahh moment ‘ with a friend
  • Being with my person and not saying a word
  • Beating my personal best in a run or lifting weights
  • Waking up in the middle of the night and feeling my lovers arms around me….spooning me.
  • Discovering a new place and meeting new people…
  • Having my hair stroked….
  • Looking in the mirror and realising that I love who I have become
  • Watching people say “I do”
  • A blank canvas
  • When someone makes you a cup of tea; and you just had the thought; “I could so do with a cup of tea”
  • Doing something for someone and watching the gratitude spread across their face….
  • Surprising someone with flowers
  • Being surprised
  • Someone offering you support without you asking
  • Falling in love
  • Letting go….

elephant

 

Body Image, Choice, Determination, Fitness, FOCUS, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Self Confidence, Self Love

Failure – Good, Bad or Indifferent?

Have you ever noticed that if you mention the word FAILURE most people cringe at the thought

then quickly avoid it & move on to another topic……

If it makes you uncomfortable then I suggest you stop reading – MMmmmm NO stop – keep reading – it might just be what you need….

Failure comes in all shapes and sizes!

It is part of the experience of living and what becomes part of your make-up/foundation of who you are or who you chose to become. For some of us the failure goes way back to our childhood – it is “failing” a subject at primary school; or coming 2nd instead of 1st in the cross country or no one ever picking you as their valentine.  In the grown up world, as an adult that  can translates into “failing” at a relationship; or “failing” to meet your weekly targets at work or “failing” the expectations of others – it is there – the lesson again & again, in failure – and how we are not good enough because of specific measurement in the world.

I know we have spoken about this before,however for me now, it is how we react to it that changes the meaning of it – failure can be your advantage to the world!

Hear me out……………………. 

During a personal training session this week, I attempted something completely new in my training – a weighted back squat – 10 reps per round, going up in 5-10kgs stints however I stopped at 45kgs – the reason no higher…….was that on the final 10th squat I went down in the squat and didn’t return – I just stayed there………… I froze.

It wasn’t that I was fatigued – I can leg press 200kgs for god sake!

It was there at that point, I felt like I was “failing” because all of a sudden I couldn’t imagine myself going up one last time, I felt like I couldn’t get the message from my head to my legs to push up….one last time! And I froze….I just stopped…..

In life – as in fitness sometimes it is that one last time that has everything change.

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My Personal Trainer is a phenomenal woman! I have never met anyone like her – In the past, I have had a couple of trainers but never for this long and never someone who got the journey I have been on and where I want to go 🙂

She continues to encourage me every week – even when I don’t have anything left and the dreaded words “I can’t, Paula” come out of my mouth (believe me they do!) she has my back – she gets me to go one last time/one last round – believing in me, believing that I can do it…. and surprise….guess what…I do!

She is teaching me things to build my confidence in areas I didn’t even know existed in fitness training – I always thought it was ‘energy in = energy out” do a class or 2 and the body will just change. Now that I know half of the journey is in the mind set – I am now learning new ways in the physical realm and training has never been so much fun!

She has my back – she is there to catch the weights or to pick me up when I am so completely done that I can’t put one leg in front of the other – She is there to high five me when I go beyond the ‘limits’ I think I have….she believes in me and at times I find it overwhelming.

So – back to the freeze in the squat – She said something to me in that moment of the freeze in my squat – (forgive me Paula, I can’t remember the precise words I know we have talked about it – however this is the message I have taken away with me – so thank you)

“In fitness, as in life – you have to let yourself fail so that you can build a new level of confidence to come back up fighting stronger; more confident then when you went down and that’s all that was – you lost your confidence.

I am here; I know you can do it – you just have to trust in yourself that you can – you are not only building fitness you are building confidence”.

As an adult, I have spent so much time hiding my failures; (although I realise now that my unhealthy way of living both in mind and body was telling the world that I didn’t trust myself and the failure to love my body is evident in that) – I was running away because as a child – failure was always there for me; it was the norm.

I wasn’t smart enough; or fast enough – I was always the last one left when they picked out sport teams; because no one wanted me on their team – most of the time I was ‘allocated”. I was never a straight A student – I could never mentor someone because I struggled to do the basics.

As a child, we moved interstate – so, not only did I suddenly have other people in own age that believed in me ( & loved me big time – and still do -my beautiful cousins – Ness, Rach & Jess – thank you ladies), I also had a teacher who came along & for the first time in my memory (because this is all occurring in the mind of an 8 year old) who believed in me – even as an 8 year old girl – my self talk was so negative – it was even written on my report card – “Selina can be often heard saying I can’t do this or I am no good at this”.

You see, when we moved states from one school system to another – I had to re-learn years 1-4 all over again because I only knew the basics – because I was slow in my learning, (please note – that my dyslexia didn’t get diagnosed until I was in my 1st year at University at the age of 18) and due to large classroom sizes in Sydney, no one had the time to help or explain things in a different way to me, so I was left behind and I failed. When we moved to Queensland I was held back so that I could re-learn (and I did in the space of about 6 months) so that I could go to year 5 and this was because of my teacher who saw something in me; he saw that I was eager to learn and like any child; responded to positive re-enforcement and that I had to have things taught to me slightly different to gasp the understanding – and I did.

So my “AHHH” moment this week;

Even though I am letting go of the ‘perfectionism” (it is a tough one Erica but I am getting there)- I didn’t believe in my confidence level in my training because of the failure of the past – what is going to make this any different? I can see the changes in my head; my body isn’t showing them. Time to take it to the next level – my body is used to this way of ‘learning’. Hence why my PT is so amazing! She saw this before I did!

Here are my words to you:

“A moment of confidence is defined by an action from yourself. No one else. When you have shown that you believe in yourself, that you are worth it, all of a sudden you realise that you were never alone; someone has always had your back; you just had to trust that even if it wasn’t the person you first thought it might be”.

My training is something that I love – I love it! And I miss it when I don’t do it and it is also about balance – sleeping; eating; loving; training.

The lessons I learn in my training, I see everyday, the impact and the results in my life – in my work – in my words.

This blog is my ability to inspire – inspire and mentor – this is something that I am great at because if I can give you something that you haven’t had before and it changes a thought or an action and your life tingles with excitement or improves in a way that you have been striving for because I made myself vulnerable to you – then YES! I love failure – good, bad or indifferent 🙂

I love giving you my experiences; my knowledge; my lessons; my mistakes; my tears and my successes!

I am not perfect – I have my melt downs; I have my clarity. I miss being held by someone who loves and accepts me; I love hugs and having my living room filled with gorgeous women laughing and sharing their stories. It is life – and I am so grateful – even when I fail.

So Paula – thank you – I can’t wait for the next session!!!!! (although in today’s circuit instead of training with a 12kg weight jacket – I added 4 more kgs – 16kgs in total….and when I couldn’t do anymore – Paula was there – she had my back – pushing me through the point of where i would have failed in the past – push ups on my toes with an extra 16kgs….done!) I will keep you posted 🙂 

I will leave you today with a request,  as always I am keen to hear  what you think – write your comments below to this question –

What has failure looked like to you & how have you turned it around?

Thank you again for your support on this journey; I am deeply humbled 🙂

In the words of another amazing woman I admire…..

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Ps. My next entry is about my final few weeks on the lead up to my 12-month anniversary of this journey and a few final keys that I need to find and turn…..oh and in April – a new exciting project that is due to start before I go to my course in Bali!

Watch this space!