Body Love, Choice, Emotional Wellbeing, Self Confidence, Self Love

What if your feelings were no longer the enemy?

Your feelings & emotions are real.

Your feelings & emotions have something to teach you.

So why do you insist on running away from them? Hiding them? Eating them?

What if you changed the way you viewed them?

What if your feelings/emotions were no longer the enemy?

I know we all doubt ourselves from time to time, in how we respond & deal with life. Some days you just can’t shake the ‘blah’ feeling…

What if we just made time to make space for the emotions? To stop justifying why we feel sad or try it ‘fix’ it immediately? What if we made space & take time to respect the emotions?

For years, I thought that either being angry or being sad – meant something negative.

I am here to tell you – it doesn’t. It doesn’t mean that something is wrong – it just means you are feeling sad. Did you know that sadness becomes peace once you allow yourself to feel it? Acknowledge it? YES – you read that right – you need to allow yourself to feel it as it is, so that it can morph and change into a new.

HOW TO MAKE AN ENEMY YOUR NEW FRIEND

Yesterday I was at one of the most beautiful parts of the world – Burleigh Heads Gold Coast & headed out for my morning jog. However I noticed that on the way back, I couldn’t shake the ‘blah” feeling. Odd – so I did some pushups – squats – still “Blah”.

So I made the choice to sit and look at the view – just be with the ‘blah’; I sat with it, acknowledge it and allow it to just be “Blah” – and then it happened – I started to cry…

photo 1
Love this view….

Allowing myself to just be with my emotions, introduced me to a new awareness. Because I then found myself around in the water with my shoes off, just connecting into the emotions of sadness, frustration, pain¬† – then the shift happened…the peace followed by gratitude of how amazingly blessed I really am. And yet despite the fact that we ‘seem’ to think we have to have it all together – to have all the answers….YOU KNOW WHAT? You don’t.

AND the truth is as a Coach – I don’t have all the answers for you – and sometimes I don’t have them for myself at the time of asking the question.

What I know is that deep down inside of you – in that place that you are avoiding by eating your emotions or hiding them by keeping busy – you have everything you need within you to do what it is that you need to do for your own happiness, your own sense of well-being, to be your own friend.

STOP TREATING YOUR FEELINGS AS THE ENEMY AND START SEEING THEM AS THE FRIENDS/GIFTS of SELF LOVE.

I GAVE MYSELF PERMISSION to FEEL into it yesterday -to stop fighting. I was recently reminded to do this by the Amazing Caroline Myss at her workshop which I attended the other week – Make the choice to feel the emotion, consciously chose it and then move on.

GIVE yourself permission to FEEL the sadness – the pain – the anger – for 10mins – 60mins – then stop. MAKE the choice to move on.

Honour yourself – Your struggle – Your strengths – Learn to be with the uncomfortable in a more comfortable way – You have other tools, so start to use them. I sat with my feet in the water – it is really that simple.

It’s time to sit down and face your feelings/emotions:

Feel it! Breathe it! Allow it! Shift it!

Feel the emotions and notice the world shift differently & you may also notice your that your physical weight starts to shift too x

STOP TREATING YOUR FEELINGS AS THE ENEMY AND START SEEING THEM AS THE FRIENDS_GIFTS of SELF LOVE.

Choice, Emotional Wellbeing, Mental Health, Self awareness, Self Love, Transformation

Why forgiveness is actually good for your weight loss journey

I held onto fear and anger for so long, I didn’t realise that I was allowing myself to swallow poision…..

Old Pattern

For so long I felt like I didn’t deserve to have what I wanted – after all I was broken, I was flawed, there was something wrong with me, I didn’t look like other girls, I wasn’t as smart or as beautiful as them. My story was that as a little girl, if my dad didn’t want or accept me (the one man that should as after all I was his child) then why would anyone else want and accept – if I was perfect – or if I had been a boy – maybe it would have been different.

I spent so long trying to get other people to like me; love me; accept me – for years…..I kept trying to be everything to everyone – to be someone else – to be a people pleaser – to be anyone but me – the poision was not only the food that I was using to push down my emotions – it was the words I was saying to myself.

Then one day I woke up and realised that this isn’t the life I want – and who the fuck am I?

New Pattern

One of the very first lessons in my transformational weight loss journey was FORGIVENESS.

It was also one of the hardest- I went through and wrote out every name of every person that I was upset at or angry at or who had hurt me. ¬†I acknowledged it – released it – accepted that I couldn’t change the past.

Then I realised that it isn’t about everyone else.

If I didn’t forgive me, how can I stand in this world and make a difference?

I am who I am – unique – extraordinary – lushious – beautiful – silly – caring – strong – stubborn – with weaknesses and broken pieces – however that is all a part of me.
Time to forgive myself – for the self hate – the pain – the anger – what’s done is done – it is how I react to a situation, I can’t change the past.

I could however chose to put the book back on the shelf and never have the need again to open it.

FORGIVENESS

Who I am being in the world? It was time to stand up & be stronger than I was yesterday – to be responsible for me and my present & future.¬†To be FREE to be ME – Because what you think of me is none of my business. And yes, forgiveness is something I practice everyday – with loads more compassion now ūüėČ

So I ask you now-
How long will you do it to yourself?
How long will you continue to beat yourself up?
How long will you hold onto the past, the hurt, the pain?

STOP IT!
Let it go!
Forgive yourself – give yourself permission to forgive yourself,
it really is time…
That’s right…forgive yourself…Now xxx

Ps. I will be releasing a new meditation for sale on self forgiveness in December xx

‚ÄúThe biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.‚ÄĚ (3)

Choice, Determination, Emotional Wellbeing, Self Love, Tips

When was the last time you had fun?!

Apparently in my life, I haven’t been having enough FUN!

Ok, ok, honestly….I have been having little bits here and there….but when the little voice in my head recently said to me, “I think you have forgotten HOW¬†to fun????”

You know what, she was right – she was right!!! I HAD!!! I let everything get on top of me – the daily stresses – moving house – packing up everything I own – living out of a suitcase – change of jobs – health concerns – money worries……

I lost sight of the balance…..and part of that is laughter….FUN….you know the type of FUN –¬†REAL FUN! that crazy last minute giggle out of control FUN! oh…and everything in between! Plus it helps reduce stress – (yes, I rolled my eyes….hehehehe)

Choice & Consquences

Somewhere between growing up, travelling and moving back to Australia at the age of 30 – I was told it was time to grow up and get serious and settle down….so for the last 5 yrs…that is what I have been trying to do – and let me tell you – I have been failing miserably…..LOL! well that was the feedback.

So I have decided to start having more FUN!! That is my choice – because the consquence of not having fun is boring, which is just avoiding…I realised that I was holding back for fear of what others thought…..so FUN is in the moment – right now!

I asked myself the following questions –

So what can you do NOW?

Where can you have fun?

When will you have fun?

How do you have fun?

Here are the 5 things I did today! 

  1. I looked in the mirror and smile at myself – pulled some faces – poked out my tongue…
  2. Sent a funny text to a friend – making her smile – made me smile ūüôā
  3. Danced around the living room to music – I love the HAPPY song!!!
  4. Found a live free comedy night event – going to head there next week!
  5. Had a coffee in my cookie monster mug in the sunshine!
Laughter is good for the soul....so is sunshine...
Laughter is good for the soul….so is sunshine…

Oh and tonight, I watched an hour of “Friends” with a friend – giggled loads ūüėČ plus I brought my niece face paints for her 5th birthday, so looking forward to doing that with her too – silly jellybean style ūüėČ

They are simple and easy! I just plan to do them more often and add to list!

funfeet
So tell me what do you do for fun? And what can you do today to make yourself smile?

Body Image, Choice, Determination, Emotional Wellbeing, Life style, Love, Self awareness, Self Love

Soulfulness & Sunshine….

Our world is constantly changing…

Change is constant….

We are changing…

Everyday our world turns, some days have more sadness, others more joy.  Personally, I like to look for the the miracles, the awareness, the compassion & the kindness.

This week, my SOUL needed to connect again to the purpose of it all.

Soul Lesson

As we live, love and learn in this life,¬†I was reminded this week that we can’t control the world outside of us, WE can control our reaction to it – with compassion; love; awareness and clarity.

Your perspective is important as is having LOVE for yourself; from the inside out. This can light up the world – so why do we focus so much on the sadness?

Why do we focus so much on what is NOT working instead of WHAT WE WANT?

Who said that we can’t have it all???

So WHAT DO YOU WANT???

If you can’t answer that specifically then just sit with it for a while…give some LOVE to yourself – just be you; be compassionate…we all have our stories that drive our lives, at times we need to stop and check that¬†LOVE¬†is in the driver seat & not fear.

Sunshine

I thrive in the sunshine, (and by the water)…so this week I took a little time to step away from the computer; to be still; breathe; & just write….write to reconnect into what I NEED¬†to do to take care of my heart and soul – that way I can be of service to others because I am focused on LOVE, not fear, pain, sadness, judgement or hurt.

(I am still writing….so take your time ūüėČ )

Tapping into the source

I tap into some pretty amazing people around me! So I suggest you do the same – so ask for some support/ideas/time – allow them to step into their power! ¬†THEN I TAP into me ūüôā

SO TAP into you! Ask yourself – What is important to you & then ask yourself – What do I WANT? You control your emotions, your reactions, where your energy goes – trust your heart & allow your soul some sunshine ūüôā

Reflect, relax, rejuvinate & be clear about what you really want.

This is one of my favourite sayings & I use it often in my coaching conversations. This week I used it as a reminder to be grateful for all the lessons in life – I hope it gives you some soulfulness & sunshine for your weekend as you take some time out for your soul to tap into what you REALLY WANT ūüôā xx

Beautiful reminder.....
Beautiful reminder…..
Emotional Wellbeing, FOCUS, Happiness, Self awareness, Self Love

Light Vs Dark – which side is the real you?

I know it can be hard at times, the struggle between the 2 sides – light & dark.

We worry that others won’t accept us, love us or like us as much, if we show them the dark….the sadness….the pain….the hurt – because ain’t we meant to be ‘perfect’?

Working it out from the inside….
I have learnt that being vulnerable takes courage, and the truth is….it is your story that you tell yourself that stops others seeing the whole complete & real you.

Somewhere along the line I decided that we were just meant to be the ‘one way’, the ‘right way’ – that if I got upset that it was not “nice” and when I compared myself to others, I saw that they ‘never got upset’ – so what right did I have?

However I have learnt that I have both; a light & dark side AND that is ok.

I am both strong and weak, I am both bold & shy. I feel happiness and anger. And once I stopped comparing myself to others, I realised it is my reaction to the world that matters, not the comparison or what others think of me. 

Because without the darkness, there is no light as without the light, there is no darkness.

My point is, everything exists in balance.

The moon and the sun exist in balance as does summer and winter….one compliments the other. It is up to me – just as it is up to you, to be responsible for what you show the world.

Being ALL¬†of you, is your balance to the world. I know we spend so long¬†focusing on our weaknesses instead of our strengths, it is a challenge sometimes to step up and to stop comparing, however it is worth it….to have the freedom of both, the fun, the focus on what is really important – your happiness!

How to change…

Make the choice…

Spend some time tonight writing down your strengths, what is important to you and focus on that! (don’t hold back…..this is your chance to move forward & create a new level of happiness and fun in your life!)

It is ok to acknowledge both sides, however it is time to stop comparing and start to honour who you are – the real you is both sides, because that is when you really shine and step up powerfully into your brilliance!

brenebrownstory
Thanks to Brene Brown for her words!

It takes practice, everyday to generate yourself as a powerful human being – so isn’t it time you started now? ūüôā

Body Image, Emotional Wellbeing, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Self awareness, Self Love

Self LOVE, Health & Happiness!!! And everything in between! My chat with the one & only Happiness Strategist Carl Massy

I am super excited to bring you a little something different this week!!

My interview with the Happiness Strategist,¬†¬†Author, Teacher, Coach – all the way from Bali –

Mr Carl Massy.

Bali_carl_sel
Hanging with the Author himself in Bali May 2014

Welcome, Welcome Carl to Fabulousness Unleashed! I am so thrilled to have you here and for you to share with my readers your story and tips!! 

Background

Thanks Selina РIt is always fun to sum up the last 45 years of my life into a paragraph or two. The chronological version is 14 years as an officer in the Australian army, then 5 years consulting to Olympic & Asian Games around the world, followed by a move to Bali in 2007 to set up a Coaching Business, after having studied NLP, hypnotherapy, reiki and fitness training. Plus throw in reading about 500 books on self-development, then writing a book on happiness and one on health, and travelling through over 50 countries and we are getting closer.

But the real story is pain, disconnection, a good dose of unhappiness, and¬†way too much alcohol in order to dull these unpleasant feelings. Followed by¬†an opportunity (intervention) to do something about it in the form of a Sunday¬†night 3am infomercial selling a 30-day ‚Äėpersonal development‚Äô program by¬†Success Coach, Tony Robbins. So in Easter 1999 I completely changed the¬†course of my life. I took personal responsibility. I sought out and devoured¬†knowledge. I changed my thinking and my habits. I actually changed my¬†personality and as Dr Dispenza says, ‚Äėwhen you change your personality, you¬†change your personal reality‚Äô. I became different and so did my results.

On my journey I have met a lot of phonies, a lot of loons, but most importantly¬†I have met some AMAZING individuals, doing amazing stuff. One of which¬†was the lovely Kylie Ryan (www.mymindcoach.com.au), who did me the honour of introducing me to Selina¬†and encouraging her to join me on my Life Coach Training course. Getting to¬†know Selina‚Äôs ‚Äėstory‚Äô and getting to hang out with her, has been a lot of fun,¬†more learning, and a chance for both of us to grow. Hoorah!!

Selina: What does happiness mean to you?

I love to get the tough questions out-of-the-way first. Happiness for me is the by-product of the thinking, feeling and behaviours we practice through our days. It is the result of the things we do, the choices we make, and the way we show up in each moment. I can actually generate a strong feeling of happiness in any moment, when I connect to love, gratitude and my breath.

The challenge for me (and all of us I think) is to create a life and lifestyle, which allows us to experience these feelings, without conscious focus. There are definitely things we can do (or stop doing) that increase the duration and depth of our feelings of happiness.

Selina: Can you share with my readers, why do you love what you do?

I love experiencing the feelings of happiness and joy and connection. And one¬†of the quickest ways to experience more of those emotions is to help others¬†experience more of them too. I have also decided that the purpose of life is to¬†fully express our authentic self, in a way that also serves others. So if I spend¬†my time helping others to experience more joy and health in their lives (in an¬†authentic Carl Massy kind of way), I will not only experience more joy and¬†health in my own life, but I will be living a life rich with purpose. What‚Äôs not to¬†love about that? ūüėČ

Selina: Please share with us your top 5 strategies for generating happiness & health?

Only 5? ūüėČ

  1. Move our entire bodies a lot more than we currently do (for physical¬†and mental health). Tal Ben-Sharar, former Harvard Professor says,¬†‚ÄėNot exercising is like taking a depressant.‚Äô
  2. Mediate daily. Our modern lifestyles demand this practice. Benefits are numerous but include deactivating the stress response and even changing how genes are expressed in our bodies.
  3. Eat a lot more plant-based whole foods, to crowd out processed foods. They are nutrient rich, and absolutely essential for complete physical and mental health.
  4. Consciously choose your goals. Choose goals that are good for you, good for others, and good for the greater good. The better goals you choose, the more fulfilling your life will be.
  5. Slow down and increase the level of your consciousness. Become conscious enough to challenge your beliefs, your stories, your thoughts, your habits, your behaviours, your past results, your future expectations. Consciousness is the best tool to co-create the future of our dreams.

I know I was only allowed 5, but I want to add one more –

KNOW that you have more POTENTIAL in you. Know that you can be 20 times better. You have power that is, as yet, untapped. We all have.

Selina: When we love what we do, it is not work. I would love to know what drives your passion?

I am passionate about knowledge. I love to learn. I love to understand. I love to figure things out. I love to work out what little thing makes all the difference when it comes to people and their results. I love people. I love working out how to improve things. I love sharing. I love teaching. I guess in the end it is my love for all of these things that drives me; so I guess I am driven by the feelings I experience when I do these things. The same could be said for everyone. The more we do those things we love to do, the more passion (fuel) we create. So as you said, discover what you love to do. And do more of that.

Selina: What are your plans for the year of 2015?

Since my passions are learning and sharing, I am on a mission this year to¬†inform people about what it really takes to optimize their health. Most of the¬†‚Äėstuff‚Äô we are told about health is incomplete or totally wrong. This totally¬†pisses me off! So this year my mission is to share the knowledge I have¬†learned about optimizing health. In The Guidebook to Optimum Health, I have¬†consolidated the knowledge from 100‚Äôs of books, my work with 100‚Äôs of clients¬†and my own personal health experiences to inform people what they have¬†been missing, and the lies they have been told. Most people (and medical¬†professionals) totally miss the essential keys to health. If you care about your¬†own health, or know someone who is ‚Äėsick‚Äô you really need to grab a copy! (Editor Note – here is the link ūüėȬ†http://www.carlmassy.com/books¬†).

I will also be running our small Exclusive Life Coach Training Course in Bali in June 2015, and a MindBody Detox Retreat in Bali in September 2015.

This was the sunrise one morning while I was at the course last year!!!
This was the sunrise one morning while I was at the course last year!!!

Thanks a lot for asking me such thought-provoking questions too Selina. All the best for 2015 to you and your readers!!

Thanks Carl!!

I have loved having you visit!! Always great to share knowledge and create new networks!¬†Check out Carl’s recent adventures (visiting Brisbane is just one of them!!!) including the launch of his new book over at¬†https://www.facebook.com/CarlMassyPage

Networking in Brisbane March 2015
Networking in Brisbane
Body Image, Body Love, Choice, Emotional Wellbeing, FOCUS, Love, Self awareness, Self Confidence

My Memo to YOU!

This week commencement¬†with International Women’s Day! Everywhere I went, I saw¬†an incredible overflow of¬†strength, courage, love, support and inspiration – it warmed my heart but also pulled at my soul at the same time……

I wondered, why is it even in this modern era, that we can’t support, love, encourage & inspire each other everyday, do we really need reminding?

And then I realised -no, we don’t need reminding! It is everywhere – we just have to see it, feel it, do it!

I do! ¬†YAY! Everyday – my MEMO’s on the Facebook page, do this – how do I know? Well I set it as my intention to support, love, encourage, inspire each and everyone one of you everyday. (Plus you all tell me ūüôā )

WHY? So that YOU generate in yourself, the desire, the focus, to stand in your own power and be the best version of you!

There are so many of us that do this for each other -in different forms, everyday – however I think we just forget that in the choas and craziness of life, what it looks like…So make sure if someone inspires you, tell them thank you ūüôā spread the intention for us to stand in our power like never before! It is time…..

 

SO here is my Memo to every single one of you around the world!

I want to encourage you, EVERY¬†single one of you to STEP¬†up, LEVEL¬†up, STAND¬†tall, BE¬†proud, be CONFIDENT, be HAPPY¬†& let’s celebrate our success, our lives, our love, our selves, with each other, not just today – but EVERYDAY!

I want to acknowledge that each one of us is unique, we bring something to this world that no one else does – yet we have forgotten that. We have gotten caught up in the comparsion, the competition, the down ward spiral of trying to please and be what ‘we think’ others want us to be, instead of being ‘what we truly are’.

STOP holding back – STOP hiding your dreams because of FEAR – it doesn’t serve you!

Look – it is not secret that for a long time, I didn’t trust myself, feel confident or love the woman looking back at me in the mirror.

YES – somedays are tough – I feel guilty for wanting more, I feel isolated because I am different, however all of that – is just part of being human -I know that I am evolving everyday and that I am not the same woman I was 2 months ago, let alone 2 years ago.

I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for the rabbit hole, the darkest hours, the trauma, the re-build – the choices I made.

SO STAND IN YOUR POWER!

LEAD BY EXAMPLE!

LOVE WILDLY!

LIVE WITH ADVENTURE! 

HONOUR YOUR BODY! YOUR SOUL! YOUR HEART!

BE YOU!  

I want to say THANKY YOU to all of the women in the world before this era, who created a new platform for us to be all that we can be!

I want to say THANK YOU to the all of the women in the world today, who strive everyday to make a contribution Рin their families, their work, their communities, in themselves!

I want to say THANK YOU to the men who love, accept and support us unconditionally to be the best versions of ourselves! (because we love that you let us do this for you too!)

I want to say THANK YOU to all the amazing women who surround me, inspire me & love me for who I am!

INSPIRATION IS ON THE MOVE!

Love

Little Miss Fabulousness

18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle kindofwoman

Body Image, Body Love, Celebrate, Happiness, Love, Self awareness, Self Confidence, Self Love, Tips

13 things you can do today, to LOVE your body a little more

In the spirit all things LOVE, (although I don’t believe that we should have to be reminded to tell someone we love them due to a hallmark card day, but that is just me ūüėČ )….I started to reflect on what it really means to LOVE….be LOVE….give LOVE & in the interest of SELF LOVE – what are you doing each day to show yourself LOVE?18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle

Recenlty , I have notice more and more, how much we are blaming/shaming/comparing our beautiful bodies for not being this, or being that РWTF??!

So here you go, a few tips on giving some LOVE to that Gorgeous, Divine, Sexy, Beautiful, One and Only body!

  1. Move your body – Be grateful that it moves with ease and grace; some people ain’t so lucky to have that freedom & choice – so go for a walk, do some yoga, dance in the kitchen to your favourite song – feel yourself move!
  2. Feel – Think about a time when you felt amazing! Harness that feeling -feel it in every cell of your body – hold that thought for a few minutes – you will feel better instantly!
  3. Underneath Sexy – A good friend of mine is¬†a Tantic Sex Coach & I alway remember her advice to me – Wear underwear that makes you feel alive and sexy! It is underneath your clothes; on your skin…reminding you how beautiful you are and how sexy you feel….you will smile just thinking about it ūüėČ
  4. Meditate – Visualise your body being healthy – your mind is an amazing tool – go outside for 5 minutes during your lunch break or first thing in the morning – just spend some time with yourself. (ps. you could even take yourself on a date…..???)
  5. Accept – This is your one and only body – treasure it, it is a temple, you one and only place to reside….so start to decorate it, enjoy it and LOVE¬†it – beeause it will thrive on that!
  6. Support – Spend time around people who will inspire you & lift you up – get out and about with theses people – do things you LOVE- get together and train together
  7. Mantra – stop your bullshit self talk! I am so fat – or I am not pretty enough – blah! That lanugage doesn’t serve you, beside you are not fat – you have fat – instead try -I am beautiful because I am beautiful!
  8. Role Model – Think of your faviourite female role model – channel the things you admire about her – get your Oprah on ūüėČ
  9. SLEEP!! Rest and rejunvinate your body and¬†mind – you think clearer, you are more focused and effective. Sleep is your friend….allow yourself a sleep in or a pj day even! ūüôā
  10. Acknowledgement – Stop focusing on what you don’t like – start to appreicate what you do like – the colour of your eyes – hair – the shape of your breasts ¬†– legs.
  11. STOP comparing – The only person you should be in competition with – is yourself!
  12. ASK those around you what they LOVE about you (because you are more than just a body) and then put them up on your wall and read them everyday!
  13. Self pleasure – turn off the TV, close the laptop, put your phone on silent and go indulge in some self pleasure fun time – enjoy your body and the amazing release that an orgasm can bring you……

 SELF love has no conditions Рit is right now!

So how will you nourish & love your mind, your body today? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below x

Body Image, Celebrate, Choice, Fitness, Health, Love, Self Confidence, Self Love

Deny thy myth and refuse the bullshit! The weightloss side effects that no one talks about

Don’t you love the start of the year – everything is fresh – new – exciting!!! We sit & brainstorm our ideas….we¬†daydream about our goals & give ourselves permission to enjoy basking in the feeling of ‘this year it will be different!!”

So then what happens when you get to the end of the year; and you realise it was!!! YOU did it!! You achieved your health and body goals for the year!! YAY!!!!

Yet¬†when it comes to our body & health goals – one of the most important one is to be happy with the consistency of taking care of it! (Don’t do something that you, can’t imagine doing everyday for the rest of your life!) So JUST because you have reached it, doesn’t mean that the self care/love stops – it is a beautiful, fun, crazy on-going journey. Yet something else¬†I realised last year, is that there are side effects that no one tells you about on your journey of weight release…..

So I am taking the lid off and sharing a few things I have learnt……….

  • Your Body & Mind change at different paces…

Transformation from the inside out – takes time – as does actually seeing the results! It took me a year to see the difference!! I feel slim and sexy but there are days were I dont’ see it! So instead of feeling crap about that -or comparing yourself to someone else at the gym or work (because it is not worth it), I focus on the good things – like compliments to myself – looking at the definition in my arms or how fit I feel!

Because when I feel radiant and happy on the inside – it shows on the outside! (so be a little patient with yourself ūüėČ )

  • Skin and Stretchmarks.

Excess skin wasn’t so much of an issue for me (although my bust there is plenty of that & they are not a firm anymore!!) – but stretchmarks….wow!! No one ever told me about the stretchmarks – you know you are stretching but you don’t think of the consquences when you are eating ice-cream in the middle of the night because you are angry – will show on your skin! It is the biggest organ of our bodies – yet we do forget to nourish it on the outside.

For me now, my stretchmarks are my stripes of my story in many ways – they remind me how far I have come ¬†and what it took to really let go of the ‘old me’.

So my tip – to help your skin heal (no they never go away but it is still another form of self care!!) rub in bio-oil or coconut oil twice a day, to help the skin recover. Book in a massage once a month – allow someone else to take care of your skin. Don’t make the good moisturer a treat – it is an everyday essential!

  • Naked Vs Clothed

I now dress to compliment my body and I look good in my gym gear – but naked…well the jury is still out.

Ok – it is true – there are days when I am still not totally comfortable with it the way I look naked. I can look at myself naked and enjoy my curves, but things move differently now then what I thought.¬†You have to let it go, what you think ‘the perfect body is’ – this is your body – beautiful, whole & unique because it is yours – so enjoy it!

It comes back to gratitude again – be grateful for the sensational temple that it is – clothes or naked or gym gear or swimsuit! ENJOY IT!

Enjoy having a shower and feeling your body, appreicate it for what you just did at the gym with it. Have a massage and say to yourself ¬†-It is safe for me to love and enjoy my body – give it the time and pleasure it deserves! This includes sleep and orgasms ūüėČ

  • ¬†Relationship with self and others…..

We tend to spend our lives neglecting the most important relationship we have – the one with ourself!

Hence we wonder why, we don’t know what we want or when we suddenly got off track. So many things comes before ourselves – and yet when start to put ourselves first – we are viewed as selfish – well if I can’t take care of me and be clear about my priorties and values – how can I then related to you as the amazing human being you are! So it isn’t being selfish – it is self caring because once you love and accept who you are – no one elses opinion matters and you accept others with much more ease and grace.

As for dating – the dynamic changes and no you are not always going to be what others are attracted too – I know some people who don’t like dating someone shorter than them – so what – that is what they are attracted too. However keep this in mind – you love and accept you – you will attract the person who desires everything about you & remember the saying;

Dita-Von-Teese-quote

  • Expensive to change and update wardrobe…

Some people have said to me it ‘costs too much money to replace all my clothes!!” Well so does a funeral if we want to be that extreme!

For most of my journey – and prior to be honest – I don’t enjoy clothes shopping – but I do enjoy Op shopping – looking for that 1 piece – something unique that stands out. ¬†So yes, as you release the weight, change body shape and start living – ¬†you will start to change and upgrade your wardrobe AND YOU KNOW WHAT??? YOU ARE TOTALLY WORTH IT! The money will come – i promise ūüôā In the meantime have a clothe swapping party and invites some friends over – laugh and have fun!

What out weighs it all is this; 

I am healthier, fitter & happier than I have been in years! 

I now carry this gorgeous body with confidence, feeling radiantly alive!  

And why? Because it is totally worth it! Please share your intentions with me below, for yourself this year! Enjoy the year and start celebrating achieving your goals now, you just might find that you get there a little sooner.

Body Image, Choice, Happiness, Life style, Love, Self Love

ENOUGH…OR AM I too much???

“Why am I not enough??”

WTF? I hear you say??? It’s true…it has come to my attention that I have been operating from the place of “I am NOT enough”. So what do you do? Well – logically, you move as you are not a tree or if you don’t have enough of something – you go get it! Right?

Yet in the world emotional eating –¬†“Have you had enough?”¬†never has seemed that simple.

We keep going because we fear on missing out on something – that last bite…or I will never get to eat this again (have this feeling with this action again…) so we keep going, even though we know it is not good for us – body – mind – soul – this is not just emotional/psychological side -it is also medical/physcial side – I will share¬†more on that later.

Recently I posted on Facebook a¬†Memo for Today¬†– as I had been in conversation with a coach-in-training, ¬†around “Being Enough” – what is that all about? and When do you know you have had enough…and have become enough…

MISSING THE MESSAGES, ODDLY ENOUGH..

‘I am Enough, as I am!”¬†– no matter how many times I have seen this over the last couple of year…I didn’t really pay attention.¬† It came again in the same week, ¬†as I was¬†speaking with a friend, who I have known for many years now and I was sharing with her some frustrations and confusion around some recently events – She has watched me change and grow over the last few years & at the end of the conversation, she said to me – “Selina, you are enough – just as you are! – it is all within you!”

LET”S PRESS PAUSE, SHALL WE!¬†

In the world of body image and low self-esteem, when we being the search¬†to ‘fix ourselves” thinking we are broken or flawed, because we assume we don’t fit in or we are rejected because we are not as pretty or as thin as the other girl or we feel trapped because we are pretending to be something we are not;¬†We view things from our ‘stories – our past’ instead of looking at what we have become and how amazing this thing called life, really is.¬†When you realise you are enough right here, right now –¬†you realise how often¬†the question pops up……“So why am I not enough?” ¬† ¬†

(This way of being has been the default for so long – and yet we keep thinking that something is “wrong” or that you need to be “more” or to be “perfect” – hard pattern to break and the shock of realising that you had the answer all along, is why I had to press the¬†PAUSE BUTTON!¬†)

UNPAUSE NOW!
My mentor said to me over a year ago –” Just allow yourself to be enough”¬†– I didn’t know how to do this at the time. ¬†As I learn more – I evolve – and I do this to be the best version of me – not for anyone else (old pattern) – because it is my life,¬†my choice and I am NOW happy being¬†me.

Yet recently I was seeing a guy, who after 3 months of dating, changed his mind about our relationship continuing. ¬†He told me that I am everything he wants (quote – “you tick all of the boxes”) – but I don’t see a long-term future with you and I don’t know why?¬†

In shock at this, I asked the question – “Am I not enough for you?” ¬†– ¬†he responded “You are amazing”. ¬†So then I asked….” Am I to demanding of your time?” ¬†– he responded “No – you don’t demand too much of my time;¬†you are the perfect balance’.¬†“So then what is it?” ¬†– he responded with “I don’t know”. ¬†And there it was – in that moment or moments leading up to the conversation (who knows…) – it wasn’t enough for him -(not me) and perhaps he never will know what his ‘enough’ measure is.¬†

After the shock, anger and confusion wore off, over the next few days I began to move into gratitude and then I started to wonder….how much do we really hide behind the “I don’t know”, is it that we don’t trust ourselves to know or measure what is ‘enough’ within us before seeking it externally? whether it is in our careers; hobbies or food…or it is a way of hiding because we don’t feel enough?And if we really want to measure ‘enough’ – how do we do that? Because really isn’t ENOUGH a measure of space and time in our heads? And isn’t that a thought and can’t a thought can be changed?? (good lesson hey!)¬†

EMOTIONALLY EATING OF THE ENOUGH

For years – when I thought I was never ‘enough” ¬†– I never felt complete or satisfied or loved for who I was.¬†So I ate – I ate for wholeness – happiness – love – I ate to stop myself feeling the emptyness…the anger…the sadness….the envy – that everyone else had what they wanted…and I didn’t.

When you realise that no matter how much cake or ice-cream or chocolate you eat – nothing that these item will give you, (the 5 seconds of pleasure for the years of pain you are hiding) will be enough….you crave another way….a way out of the cycle of NOT ENOUGH!

You realise that it is not about them – the bullies or the rejection of the job or the man no longer wanting you or the ice cream – it is about you – trusting that despite it all – You are Enough – say it with me; ¬†“I am enough” – because enough is being present within the you, you are. (Ps.¬†Oh and by the way – after the conversation with him –¬†no comfort eating! I was present with my emotions; felt it; acknowledged it and processed it, because I am enough, as I am! Woohoo!!)

NEW LEARNINGS

When you realise you are enough; apologies -when I realised that I am ENOUGH; that I am NOT needy; nor I am TOO DEMANDING or EMOTIONAL or too focused on myself Рyou are willing to do the work and what it takes to have what you want and you also want the man who has done his work on himself both in actions and words. From here, you move into a new phase of awareness and start to research to understand more about what you have done in your life and to your body in the past and how now to best support it going forward Рnot just emotionally but physically; spiritually and medically. So let me introduce to you; ghrelin & leptin.

Ghrelin is produced in the stomach, and¬†cues the brain that you’re hungry – important ūüôā ¬†After you eat, leptin talks to the brain and says you are full! ¬†However, if these two hormones decide they aren’t ‘enough’ and stop communicating, you may lose the ability to recognize when your body is¬†full &¬†overeat as a result.

The other thing to consider is your Cortisol levels. We live in such high states of stress and pressure causing the body into over drive. Cortisol is designed to spike to provide the body with a quick dose of energy Рie; if you are being chased by a Lion Рyou would get a really quick hit! However in our world today; with the high levels of stress,  our cortisol levels stay at that peak and the impact that this causes has shown up in suppression of the immune system and weight gain around the stomach area.

You can force or flow in your choices and yet we seems to choose the hardest path because that is what we are taught. I refuse to settle for less in myself anymore and it is the same for thoses around me; including the man I date – I refuse to watch YOU¬†settle for being less than you have the potential for – so yes I will push; challenge; nurture and love you – whether you are a friend; a client or a partner. Because you are incredible…I believe in you.

NOW what if you changed and learnt a new way to define yourself?

What if you and I accept that not everyone is going to agree or like or love us – that is ok – because acceptance of yourself is what counts…it is more than enough.

When you change the pace and make the choice to connect with yourself everyday ¬†– with gratitude and forgiveness – it is not selfish; it is essential – Suddenly you get clarity and things¬†just arrive! Yes there will still be¬†tough times…bumps in the road…glitches in the system…however, if you change your thinking to a new level of desire –¬†I deserve to have what I want¬†– you stop doubting that you are not enough.

Knowing and trusting that your level of enough, is & will be different to everyone else’s, is ok. ENOUGH is about BEING – being you in your skin, on your terms!

SO SPEND SOME TIME EXPLORING THIS¬†–
  • What is my level of ENOUGH?¬†How do I want to measure it? What is important to me? (You might surprise yourself!)
  • Be patient with yourself!¬†It takes time to change and create new habits – change the thought from “I am not enough’ to “I am enough, as I am”.
  • Be present¬†– Connect with yourself about HOW you feel – if you feel anger that is ok – it might actually only be a small amount of anger, if you actually allow yourself to feel it – give yourself space to be in the moment – we don’t have to be 100% happy all the time.
  • Get a good night’s sleep!¬†Research has shown that exercise and stress reduction may help keep ghrelin levels in check – so aim for about 8-hours ūüôā¬†
  • Have fun¬†– Be silly – allow yourself the opportunity to explore the new realm increase your enjoyment; for example: Try Laughter Yoga to make you feel good…not the ice cream or cake!¬†
  • Love the journey¬†– when you feel content, confident and empowered – you step up with fire and focus!

So my beautiful ones –¬†“You are enough, just as you are!”¬†You don’t need that extra piece of cake or a certain number on the scale or the most ‘likes’ on a Facebook status; STOP¬†settling for less…REFUSE the thought that you aren’t enough and go beyond the ordinary way of being.

I declare that I am 100% prepared to set and stand by my standards of what is possible in my life; myself and my relationship -I am worth it and Now I insist on it! AND my desire is for you, to insist on it too!

I am Enough; just as I am – Whole – Complete – Beautiful- Amazing me.

Ps.Oh and next time someone comes along; he will also insist on it as well! He will know what he wants, with no fear of change or fear of his desires; He will recognises my full potential as well as his own & won’t be afraid to go after the adventure; He will let go of the excuses and live into his standard of extraordinary and as well mine; ¬†He will know that he is more than enough; as I am and that, makes for a pretty powerful combination of forces, don’t you think? ūüėČ

enoughme