Body Image, Emotional Wellbeing, Health, Mental Health, Self Love

What a difference a year can make! Breast Cancer -it picked the wrong woman to fuck with!

Hello Amazing Peeps!

I know, I know!
It has been a while in between written posts!

SO much has happened in the last 12months – I returned to Europe for a month (it was amazing to be back!), took on new private clients, launched my WHOLE BODY FUSION workshop series and found a lump in my left breast.

Yep – you read that right!

36 years old and I received a cancer diagnosis – you have Invasive carcinoma of the left breast. My GP said to me “thank goodness you are healthy and fit and have the right mindset!”

If you have been following my FB page Selina Jane Louise – you would have seen that I documented the journey through photos and LIVE video blogs – so that I can continue to raise awareness around body awareness, acceptance, connection and LOVE.

My desire is to continue to inspire everyone to CHANGE the WAY they THINK about THEMSELVES! Especially women – we need to model excellence to level our lives up and soar!

You desire to have what you want and you do no service to the world by HOLDING BACK!

It is time to stop holding ourselves back!

I was – HOLDING MYSELF BACK – PLAYING SMALL – HIDING and then something happened (Cancer the unspoken blessing) and I realised that if I stop all of that – I am UNSTOPPABLE!

CANCER picked the wrong woman to FUCK with!

I have come through  surgery which is known as a Lumpectomy also called breast-conserving surgery or wide local excision because — unlike a mastectomy — only a portion of the breast is removed & my nipple re-attached.  Then had fertility and have 22 frozen eggs now. I have now completed my CHEMO cycles (which was not pretty & at times freaking scary), I also got to trial the new PAXMAN Cold Cap which for stage 2 breast cancer patients helps to minialmise the hair loss (I cut it off and donated it prior to treatment and went slightly bald on the top during treatment 🙂 ).

14795897_10210990215454816_1777531948_o
My amazing hairdresser Bartholomew who donated his time to support me

I was determined that CHEMO was to be FUN – and to focus my mind & thoughts on healing, healthy cells, vitality and LOVE! (You had to wear something on your head if you came to see me!) Oh and plus I got a visit from CEO of Icon Cancer Care – he was great fun!

CHEMO sent me into early menopause so monthly I have ZOLDEX injected to preserve my ovaries. I will be on hormone therapy for the next 5yrs with 6monthly check ups.

I am now a STAT – I am only 5% of women under 40 who got Breast Cancer here in Australia -and with no family history I decided to pay for genetic testing (over $1000 and had to sent it to the USA – so thank you COLOR!) The results came back negative to any of the 30 cancer genes that were tested including BRAC 1&2.

SO I am in the 70% unexplained as to why I got it.

MINDSET MAGIC

However – who care about the WHY! It is the HOW I am going to LIVE & WHO I AM going to be in this world with this new awareness! I am so proud of my mind and body for what it is doing to regenerate and optimise for a new level of health & vitality!

I know now that if I had not have done the work on myself…my mind…my bullshit beliefs…my fears…my self hate – then I would not have been able to process and deal with this process as I have! Everyday I meditate and set my intention to thrive! Everyday I listen to recordings to have my cells regenerate! I am also using so many complimentary therapies as well to support my system including Reiki, Chinese Herbal Medicine, Acupunture, Kinesiology, Chiropractic, Body Work, Compounding Chemist and Hypnosis.

I am so determined that my ONLY CHOICE is to LIVE with more passion, more purpose, more power and MORE LOVE than ever before!
I did a lot of release work on myself the night before the surgery and during CHEMO including all my past LOVES and the disappointments that I held onto (my heart sits under my left breast) I have been trying to protect my heart from hurt and I have been missing out on so much JOY & SO MUCH LOVE!

I know now, what I really want!  More than ever that I want it ALL (I have release the guilt and ‘I am not enough story’) and will continue to come from a place of LOVE, ACCEPTANCE and CONNECTION to share my insights and inspire others to make the changes for themselves to SHINE, INSPIRE & SOAR in their own lives. That is why I love my Personal Power Coaching Sessions with my clients, My workshops and guest speaking gigs – because it is powerful to transform and there is so much freedom and peace in it.

 

So….I am curious to know: 
What is it that you really want? 

6

Share below xx or write on my FB wall 🙂

Ps. If you want daily MOJO MEMOS then please head over to Selina Jane Louise and follow me.

It brings me so much joy to serve you & if you want coaching – send me a Private Message on FB and let’s see what we can create!

Emotional Wellbeing, Health, Self Love

Plot Twists….and Crazy Expectations!

AHHHHHH!!! Sometimes do you find yourself wanting to say -(mmm let rephrase that) – scream “AHHHHH!!!!!!! as people say things or react or as situations arise….and you find yourself just sitting there thinking, “I literally want to yell “Plot Twist” and wait for the camera to stop rolling…”

Only there are no cameras………..

Lately the last few weeks…AHHH! So here a little a quick tip for you from me!

imagesDrama School

Drama is everywhere – it is a theme that exists, however it doesn’t have to be the main attraction in the world around you. It is your reaction to others that you can control; so it is ok to step away from the drama – once you do, you are outside the drama with a completely different view.

I know it is hard when things don’t turn out the way you plan or peoples reactions to things or you do something that upsets someone. However it is not what you did that upsets that person – it is their reaction to you and their expectation of whom they think/perceive you to be.

AND it is who YOU ARE BEING!

YES YOU! YOU can’t be everything to everyone – so STOP TRYING!! It is a waste of your energy & time. What you can do, is BE the best you can with what you have & at the same time, BE what YOU need yourself to be. ACT without EXPECTATION of others – just be in the moment – just be yourself.

When we learn to be compassionate; patient; kind & loving to ourselves – we reflect that out to the world too.

So NOW what?…

How much of your day do you spend worrying about everyone else or the future? 30%? 50%? 75% or even 90%?

Life is this extraordinary adventure! There will be ups & downs….and YES – it is up to you how you CHOOSE to communicate. This communication is telling the world who you are and what you need. It is a CHOICE – in the moment. AND I know sometimes the MOMENT is that point of frustration, anger and sadness & that is ok too. Your emotions are your emotion – all emotions are right – they are only ever the meanings you give them – let yourself be with them in this moment (YES – just be with it- don’t reach for the chocolate or chips) just be with it & as you do this – you also let go & free yourself of what others expect of you & you change your state-YOU create some new head space!

So tomorrow when you want to yell “PLOT TWIST!” – try this instead…..

  • Take a step back – take 5-10 deep breaths and say to yourself –

“I release my expectations of myself & others…

I allow myself to be in this moment”.

Then to the person who you are with – offer them the same. Compassion in the moment – Plot Twists can be fun or shit – it is how you react to them and TRUST ME – lately my reaction has been shit – but now as I breathe in this new PLOT TWIST…(instead of my old pattern of eating it!!) it is going to be a new type of fun….because that is what I am choosing it to be 😉

Ps. Or go do a Boxing class – I find that helps too 😉

Just breathe.....
Just breathe…..
Body Image, Body Love, Celebrate, Health, Love, Self awareness, Self Love

Being slim- the fear & the pressure………WTF???

A while ago I was in my HOT YOGA class and was doing a downward facing dog and I saw my thighs  – they were a different shape and my first reaction was –

“HOLY FUCK!! My thighs are skinny….oh that’s not good….”

The FEAR of the pressure of being thin…..

At the time I just pushed the thought out of my head…..however since then I have realised that – I am afraid of being THIN  – because being THIN = BEING ILL.

I decided to explore this more and began reading, “A course in weightloss 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering your weight forever” BY Marianne Williamson.

It is a different world being healthy and fit – you FEEL DIFFERENT – more alive and happy and vibrant!!! You look different, clothes fit different and people treat you different (i know we shouldn’t but when you have been FAT for most of your life people judge you more – I don’t know why but they do) – People used to look in my trolley at what I was buying – the look on their faces says it all…I even had a lady once shake her head at me after looking in my trolley.

Yet I realise that the pressure to be THIN to look a certain way is BIGGER than the SHAME I felt at being fat. Yet right now I am healthy & slim – so why is THIN so scary???

HOLY CRAP! Why is being THIN more scary then being SLIM & HEALTHY??

Exploring this thought and realiseation as I read the book, I noticed AGAIN that no matter what SIZE we are – there is this intense pressure to be (ACTUALLY – NO) – to LOOK a certain way – “the ideal” – who, what & when did this get decided??? AND what the FUCK is “ideal”???

For years I beat myself up for NOT being the PERFECT SIZE 10 with sexy thin thighs and flat stomach – GOD – HOW MUCH TIME & ENERGY DID I WASTE????

How much time and energy do you let this kind of self talk consume your daily thoughts??? 50%? 70%? 90%??!!

For me it was 90% of my day!! YET during my transformational journey, I have learnt that it is more important how I LOVE & SEE myself & BY doing this – my thoughts changed…my belief changed – that being THIN is not scary – it is what it represented to me.

Hence, noticing this reaction to my thighs in HOT YOGA, I realised that for the first time in a long time, I was seeing my body exactly as it is. It is not THIN or SLIM or FAT – it is my body BEAUTIFUL in all it’s glory & noticing where there used to be NO love, I now see  LOVE .

IT was the FEAR that caught me by surprise – the old judgement. So a lesson learnt here, is so where there was FEAR – now I give it LOVE. The FEAR for me was that BEING THIN/SLIM meant being ill…being hurt…being in pain. YET the more I  allow the LOVE and forgivenness to occur, the more my body has begun to reshape itself in a new form.

My body is now showing me what is wants to be, NOT how I had been seeing it – ‘that nothing I do will ever change my thighs’ because being thin equals being ill.”

Another insight from her book has been, removing my own self judgement from the old me  – she taught me a lot and now it is time to allow the new me to teach me a few things 😉

So my question to you – What made you decide to stop loving your body?

Share your thoughts below xx

Inspiration is on the move xx with love from Little Miss Fabulousness xmarianne

Body Image, Emotional Wellbeing, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Self awareness, Self Love

Self LOVE, Health & Happiness!!! And everything in between! My chat with the one & only Happiness Strategist Carl Massy

I am super excited to bring you a little something different this week!!

My interview with the Happiness Strategist,  Author, Teacher, Coach – all the way from Bali –

Mr Carl Massy.

Bali_carl_sel
Hanging with the Author himself in Bali May 2014

Welcome, Welcome Carl to Fabulousness Unleashed! I am so thrilled to have you here and for you to share with my readers your story and tips!! 

Background

Thanks Selina – It is always fun to sum up the last 45 years of my life into a paragraph or two. The chronological version is 14 years as an officer in the Australian army, then 5 years consulting to Olympic & Asian Games around the world, followed by a move to Bali in 2007 to set up a Coaching Business, after having studied NLP, hypnotherapy, reiki and fitness training. Plus throw in reading about 500 books on self-development, then writing a book on happiness and one on health, and travelling through over 50 countries and we are getting closer.

But the real story is pain, disconnection, a good dose of unhappiness, and way too much alcohol in order to dull these unpleasant feelings. Followed by an opportunity (intervention) to do something about it in the form of a Sunday night 3am infomercial selling a 30-day ‘personal development’ program by Success Coach, Tony Robbins. So in Easter 1999 I completely changed the course of my life. I took personal responsibility. I sought out and devoured knowledge. I changed my thinking and my habits. I actually changed my personality and as Dr Dispenza says, ‘when you change your personality, you change your personal reality’. I became different and so did my results.

On my journey I have met a lot of phonies, a lot of loons, but most importantly I have met some AMAZING individuals, doing amazing stuff. One of which was the lovely Kylie Ryan (www.mymindcoach.com.au), who did me the honour of introducing me to Selina and encouraging her to join me on my Life Coach Training course. Getting to know Selina’s ‘story’ and getting to hang out with her, has been a lot of fun, more learning, and a chance for both of us to grow. Hoorah!!

Selina: What does happiness mean to you?

I love to get the tough questions out-of-the-way first. Happiness for me is the by-product of the thinking, feeling and behaviours we practice through our days. It is the result of the things we do, the choices we make, and the way we show up in each moment. I can actually generate a strong feeling of happiness in any moment, when I connect to love, gratitude and my breath.

The challenge for me (and all of us I think) is to create a life and lifestyle, which allows us to experience these feelings, without conscious focus. There are definitely things we can do (or stop doing) that increase the duration and depth of our feelings of happiness.

Selina: Can you share with my readers, why do you love what you do?

I love experiencing the feelings of happiness and joy and connection. And one of the quickest ways to experience more of those emotions is to help others experience more of them too. I have also decided that the purpose of life is to fully express our authentic self, in a way that also serves others. So if I spend my time helping others to experience more joy and health in their lives (in an authentic Carl Massy kind of way), I will not only experience more joy and health in my own life, but I will be living a life rich with purpose. What’s not to love about that? 😉

Selina: Please share with us your top 5 strategies for generating happiness & health?

Only 5? 😉

  1. Move our entire bodies a lot more than we currently do (for physical and mental health). Tal Ben-Sharar, former Harvard Professor says, ‘Not exercising is like taking a depressant.’
  2. Mediate daily. Our modern lifestyles demand this practice. Benefits are numerous but include deactivating the stress response and even changing how genes are expressed in our bodies.
  3. Eat a lot more plant-based whole foods, to crowd out processed foods. They are nutrient rich, and absolutely essential for complete physical and mental health.
  4. Consciously choose your goals. Choose goals that are good for you, good for others, and good for the greater good. The better goals you choose, the more fulfilling your life will be.
  5. Slow down and increase the level of your consciousness. Become conscious enough to challenge your beliefs, your stories, your thoughts, your habits, your behaviours, your past results, your future expectations. Consciousness is the best tool to co-create the future of our dreams.

I know I was only allowed 5, but I want to add one more –

KNOW that you have more POTENTIAL in you. Know that you can be 20 times better. You have power that is, as yet, untapped. We all have.

Selina: When we love what we do, it is not work. I would love to know what drives your passion?

I am passionate about knowledge. I love to learn. I love to understand. I love to figure things out. I love to work out what little thing makes all the difference when it comes to people and their results. I love people. I love working out how to improve things. I love sharing. I love teaching. I guess in the end it is my love for all of these things that drives me; so I guess I am driven by the feelings I experience when I do these things. The same could be said for everyone. The more we do those things we love to do, the more passion (fuel) we create. So as you said, discover what you love to do. And do more of that.

Selina: What are your plans for the year of 2015?

Since my passions are learning and sharing, I am on a mission this year to inform people about what it really takes to optimize their health. Most of the ‘stuff’ we are told about health is incomplete or totally wrong. This totally pisses me off! So this year my mission is to share the knowledge I have learned about optimizing health. In The Guidebook to Optimum Health, I have consolidated the knowledge from 100’s of books, my work with 100’s of clients and my own personal health experiences to inform people what they have been missing, and the lies they have been told. Most people (and medical professionals) totally miss the essential keys to health. If you care about your own health, or know someone who is ‘sick’ you really need to grab a copy! (Editor Note – here is the link 😉 http://www.carlmassy.com/books ).

I will also be running our small Exclusive Life Coach Training Course in Bali in June 2015, and a MindBody Detox Retreat in Bali in September 2015.

This was the sunrise one morning while I was at the course last year!!!
This was the sunrise one morning while I was at the course last year!!!

Thanks a lot for asking me such thought-provoking questions too Selina. All the best for 2015 to you and your readers!!

Thanks Carl!!

I have loved having you visit!! Always great to share knowledge and create new networks! Check out Carl’s recent adventures (visiting Brisbane is just one of them!!!) including the launch of his new book over at https://www.facebook.com/CarlMassyPage

Networking in Brisbane March 2015
Networking in Brisbane
Body Image, Celebrate, Choice, Fitness, Health, Love, Self Confidence, Self Love

Deny thy myth and refuse the bullshit! The weightloss side effects that no one talks about

Don’t you love the start of the year – everything is fresh – new – exciting!!! We sit & brainstorm our ideas….we daydream about our goals & give ourselves permission to enjoy basking in the feeling of ‘this year it will be different!!”

So then what happens when you get to the end of the year; and you realise it was!!! YOU did it!! You achieved your health and body goals for the year!! YAY!!!!

Yet when it comes to our body & health goals – one of the most important one is to be happy with the consistency of taking care of it! (Don’t do something that you, can’t imagine doing everyday for the rest of your life!) So JUST because you have reached it, doesn’t mean that the self care/love stops – it is a beautiful, fun, crazy on-going journey. Yet something else I realised last year, is that there are side effects that no one tells you about on your journey of weight release…..

So I am taking the lid off and sharing a few things I have learnt……….

  • Your Body & Mind change at different paces…

Transformation from the inside out – takes time – as does actually seeing the results! It took me a year to see the difference!! I feel slim and sexy but there are days were I dont’ see it! So instead of feeling crap about that -or comparing yourself to someone else at the gym or work (because it is not worth it), I focus on the good things – like compliments to myself – looking at the definition in my arms or how fit I feel!

Because when I feel radiant and happy on the inside – it shows on the outside! (so be a little patient with yourself 😉 )

  • Skin and Stretchmarks.

Excess skin wasn’t so much of an issue for me (although my bust there is plenty of that & they are not a firm anymore!!) – but stretchmarks….wow!! No one ever told me about the stretchmarks – you know you are stretching but you don’t think of the consquences when you are eating ice-cream in the middle of the night because you are angry – will show on your skin! It is the biggest organ of our bodies – yet we do forget to nourish it on the outside.

For me now, my stretchmarks are my stripes of my story in many ways – they remind me how far I have come  and what it took to really let go of the ‘old me’.

So my tip – to help your skin heal (no they never go away but it is still another form of self care!!) rub in bio-oil or coconut oil twice a day, to help the skin recover. Book in a massage once a month – allow someone else to take care of your skin. Don’t make the good moisturer a treat – it is an everyday essential!

  • Naked Vs Clothed

I now dress to compliment my body and I look good in my gym gear – but naked…well the jury is still out.

Ok – it is true – there are days when I am still not totally comfortable with it the way I look naked. I can look at myself naked and enjoy my curves, but things move differently now then what I thought. You have to let it go, what you think ‘the perfect body is’ – this is your body – beautiful, whole & unique because it is yours – so enjoy it!

It comes back to gratitude again – be grateful for the sensational temple that it is – clothes or naked or gym gear or swimsuit! ENJOY IT!

Enjoy having a shower and feeling your body, appreicate it for what you just did at the gym with it. Have a massage and say to yourself  -It is safe for me to love and enjoy my body – give it the time and pleasure it deserves! This includes sleep and orgasms 😉

  •  Relationship with self and others…..

We tend to spend our lives neglecting the most important relationship we have – the one with ourself!

Hence we wonder why, we don’t know what we want or when we suddenly got off track. So many things comes before ourselves – and yet when start to put ourselves first – we are viewed as selfish – well if I can’t take care of me and be clear about my priorties and values – how can I then related to you as the amazing human being you are! So it isn’t being selfish – it is self caring because once you love and accept who you are – no one elses opinion matters and you accept others with much more ease and grace.

As for dating – the dynamic changes and no you are not always going to be what others are attracted too – I know some people who don’t like dating someone shorter than them – so what – that is what they are attracted too. However keep this in mind – you love and accept you – you will attract the person who desires everything about you & remember the saying;

Dita-Von-Teese-quote

  • Expensive to change and update wardrobe…

Some people have said to me it ‘costs too much money to replace all my clothes!!” Well so does a funeral if we want to be that extreme!

For most of my journey – and prior to be honest – I don’t enjoy clothes shopping – but I do enjoy Op shopping – looking for that 1 piece – something unique that stands out.  So yes, as you release the weight, change body shape and start living –  you will start to change and upgrade your wardrobe AND YOU KNOW WHAT??? YOU ARE TOTALLY WORTH IT! The money will come – i promise 🙂 In the meantime have a clothe swapping party and invites some friends over – laugh and have fun!

What out weighs it all is this; 

I am healthier, fitter & happier than I have been in years! 

I now carry this gorgeous body with confidence, feeling radiantly alive!  

And why? Because it is totally worth it! Please share your intentions with me below, for yourself this year! Enjoy the year and start celebrating achieving your goals now, you just might find that you get there a little sooner.

Body Image, Celebrate, Fitness, Health, Love, Mojo, Passion, Self Confidence, Self Love

It’s time to celebrate our 1st Birthday!

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday Dear Blog! Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday Blog!

I can’t believe that it has been a year since I started putting my journey into words and sharing it with you all! Wow! What a ride it has been!!!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, because if it wasn’t for you (yes, you!) reading this; allowing my words to inspire you into action; this day may never have come.

I have been blown away by all of you – each and every one of you – from all over the world who have taken the time to read this!! From as close as Tasmania across the ocean to Hong Kong to Russia; to Turkey the UK to the USA to New Zealand to Bali to Singapore to Denmark and Italy (just to name a few) – each and every single one of you, has continued to read each post, sign up for notifications and share your thoughts with me – Thank you!

Your support, comments, questions and encouragement to continue to share my journey, has inspired me!

 So a few reflections, from the past 12 months:

  • It’s ok that I don’t know it all – Evolution is part of life and I love learning and will continue to share it with you all – I don’t know all the answers and never will – that is the fun part – I love researching and will always aim to ensure that I do my best to answer any questions you may have x
  • Play MORE! Do something you love – that makes you smile – don’t wait until one day – how about this weekend? What is that one thing that you can do, that you haven’t done yet – Mmmm standup padding boarding? Or Tell that person that you have a crush on them? Or go to a theme park? Or Enter that standup comedy competition? Possibilities are endless!
  • Balance is your friend – Say NO to the things you don’t want to do – yes people may get upset or be disappointed but you need to give yourself time too – rest – slow down – sleep in…..
  • No one has the right to treat you badly and that includes you – So STOP IT! Stop punishing yourself; verbally; physically and mentally. Be gentle today – say to yourself – Great job! Or You are beautiful!
  • Forgive – Forgive – Forgive – it doesn’t mean that you excuse the behaviour or what happened or what was said – it is time to move on and protect yourself – peace and forgiveness are wonderful gifts.
  • Brave! If you don’t take the leap and step up now – no one else will do it for you.
  • Your body is a temple and the only one you have – so stop abusing it and start loving it!
  • Be willing to take care of you first – than others – it is NOT selfish it is essential! 

To continue the celebration in style as I can’t share birthday cake with, I wanted to share instead some of the photos from my recent shoot! YES – they have finally arrived and I am so so so excited by them!!

Next step in my website!

(Massive thank you to everyone at The PhotoStudio in Glebe Sydney – they are incredible – I felt like a star! So check out their website for more details; http://thephotostudio.com.au/) as I hope it inspires you to do something extra special like this for yourself soon too. (ps. I love that when I am 90, I will look back and say – Damn you were hot!!)

Final note – Thank you once more – I am so blessed to have had this opportunity and I can’t wait to continue our journey together into the 2nd year of Fabulousness Unleashed, the next big leap – it’s been one hell of a ride so far!

This 2nd year…..I am determined it is going to ROCK! Keep an eye out for the next post….

Can’t wait to see you all there! Love Little Miss Fabulousness  xxx

      18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle 18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle 18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle 18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle 18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle 18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle 18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle 18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle

Celebrate, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Mental Health, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

Jumping for Joy!

About 18months ago someone asked me; Can you give yourself permission to feel the joy in the moment???!!!??

My immediate reaction was; No!

So now I am asking you……..Can you give yourself permission to feel the JOY in the moment???!!!??

Joy

Mmm..What is JOY?

It is defined as; “a feeling of great pleasure and happiness”. Other words include – delight; bliss; rapture; glee;  and triumph!

Yet, at the time….I couldn’t understand, WHY I couldn’t I give myself permission to feel it? Through out my life (& it has become more apparent since I started my journey of transformation), I have noticed that as human beings, we stop or don’t allow ourselves, to feel certain things/emotions/reactions???

So I became to wonder…..when did we start thinking that we had to have other people’s permission to feel or NOT to feel?

So  today, I wanted to share with you some tips to explore this further for yourself – (10 mins tops I promise!)

  • Awareness is the first step….

Feelings…Emotions…Expression…Reaction…Awareness.

Acknowledging how we feel is important for our everyday living – our emotions/thoughts have a massive impact on our lives – yet we are so bound by a ‘system’ that says we all have to ‘be a certain way’. And while it is important to respect others; when did we stop respecting ourselves.

I realised that holding back and allowing the ‘negative’ thoughts/emotions; was only damaging me – no one else – because no one actually knew how I felt plus it reflected in my body (weight – insomnia – anxiety) – and in my life!

So start to just notice the emotions (now I am not saying burst out with everything all at once…no one wants a hole in the wall, should you explode)…..but just at lunchtime today…take some time to check in with yourself – ask the question; “How am I feeling right now?

  • Listen…

Next – just notice where that feeling is in your body….listen to that feeling….be aware of it…what happened today that you just dismissed? Start to listen to your self as the incredible human being that you are…..you are important…

  • Acknowledge it…

Regardless of the emotion (anger; love; sadness; joy) just allow it to be – and then “thank” the emotion for bring to your attention where you are not giving yourself permission to feel and BE honest with you – it is not serving anyone by dismissing how you are feeling. Have you ever noticed that how emotions can spread….if you smile at someone…they can’t help but smile back at you 😉

Next step…. 

This is where you start to notice a shift – it will take time…..however for me, I noticed that when I was honest with myself and gave myself permission to feel the emotion…it didn’t take long to move on to another one (ie; if I was pissed off…feeling it and allowing it to be (or writing it down…..) made room for the next emotion…I started to notice that I felt happy more than I felt sad. That feeling both is normal…every emotion is right – we have them for a reason.

NOW I do feel JOY and I can give myself permission to FEEL it – because it isn’t as scary as I thought and it actually takes less energy to feel and acknowledge than it does to shove down with food as was my previous coping strategy!

JOY is more than happiness; pleasure; delight; bliss; rapture; glee & triumph….Joy is whatever you want it to be!

Your JOY can be allowing yourself to feel happy or giving yourself permission to love & start dating again…or JUMPING UP & DOWN when you achieve that big contract at work!!!

JOY is more than just that…or it can be as simple as that….you get to decide your reaction 🙂

ACTION…

So this weekend…take some time out of your day…(yes I know you are busy; but this is a great little exercise plus 1 hour is 4% of your day..you have time to give yourself 4% of your day!)

  • Write down all of the things that bring JOY to you……
  • Then write down all of the things that are JOY to you…..
  • Then write down all of the things that you do that STOP JOY from being in you….
  • Then start to make a plan…..Reduce the inflammation in your life and make room for JOY!

For me now….JOY is every cell in my body working together to be the best version of me – JOY is Being awesome in the moment! 

This week, I have started writing in my journal again….just a few lines every morning upon waking…..

So today…I wanted to REALLY feel JOY –

Feel the joy of the sun on my skin…

Feel the joy of a hug from someone I love….

Feel the joy of breathing air into my lungs….

Feel the joy of being alive! 

So why not now…JUMP FOR JOY – right at your computer! Make it your self-expression today – to feel your own definition of JOYjumpfor joy

I would love to know what your definition of JOY is – share below 🙂

 

Oh and at the end of the week… a few photos to celebrate Little Miss Fabulousness turning 1!

Celebrate, FOCUS, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Self Confidence

Taking the leap………what’s the purpose??

Lately, people keep asking me the same question…………………

“How did you work out what your purpose in life is?”

Mmmm ok good question…then I find myself asking them back; “What is the purpose behind your question???”….

My Answer: The purpose is not the end goal……. it is a series of actions and results; that continue to occur as my drive to live by my core desire/values, aligns with the world.

Taking the leap……

As we have discussed before…as much as I would love there to be a MAGIC WAND….there aren’t any & it is different for everyone.

For me; I always wanted to help others; however for years I used it as a reason of NOT dealing with my own life; because I didn’t think I was worth having what I really wanted……so I will just give and give and give and one day it will all sort it self out.

(Editor’s note: You can guess of course that never happened….when you ignore something long enough….it kind of stops functioning….everything needs a little TLC).

I didn’t need a SOLID FOOL PROOF PLAN either…(I had a plan for everything…and would set myself up to fail – unconscious self sabotage…to prove that nothing I ever wanted I could get)……..this time around….TAKING THE LEAP…..I had an idea…..I did the work….I breathed (A LOT!!)….I trusted myself (for the 1st time in years) and then I let go (which was the hardest part….HELL was that the hardest part!!)….and it unfolded……

So you are asking me the purpose of it all- well I am no guru like Eckhart Tolle – incredible man! For me….it is MY LIFE – I don’t want to just exist – I WANT TO BE EXTRAORDINARY and be the  BEST VERSION OF ME; to be a contribution in the world, to inspire others to be the best versions of themselves – SIMPLE 🙂

Next question:

“Now that you have transformed…what was the purpose of it all?”

Well….firstly – the transformation hasn’t stopped…(that is why nothing worked before; because I thought I had to ‘get it somewhere’ instead of enjoying the journey); ….or a better way to describe it is Evolution -it is incredible to take in a new view point and gain a deeper understanding of the world…..and the purpose…..well….it is like the seasons; every year they show up and do what they are designed to do………better than the year before 🙂

Ok…Ok…..I know you want more……so here it is…

The PURPOSE

I want to be healthy in body; mind & heart! 

(Yes; I want to look good in size 12 jeans….but it goes way beyond that – I want it all – the connection; I want to feel good too!)

To be the best VERSION of myself I can be!

To stop hiding and live life to the fullest!

What is the purpose of that? Because I want to be fit and glow with vitality & radiance! 

What is the purpose of that? Because I want to live until I am 101!!

What is the purpose of that? Because I have so much I want to do and see in the world! 

What is the purpose of that? Because I was to inspire others to be the best versions of themselves!

What is the purpose of that? Because I want to bring compassion and service to the world!

What is the purpose of that? Because I want to be able to teach my children to be the best versions of themselves – the world is an extraordinary and challenging place at times & they will have have to deal with; and with what I have learnt I can pass on the tools to help learn to be the best versions of themselves; to make positive contribution to the world.

AND the purpose of all of this starts with me taking care of myself from the inside-out, so that I can do all of this and more while aligning it to my core values and passion. AND look it keeps going….for a long time; but you get the idea…..

Packing for the Leap! 

I had to stop running old and not-useful patterns; the same thing kept showing up – I was enjoying my life and my work – but I wanted more…..I wanted to contribute to the world in a big way – I wanted to leave a legacy and I wanted to make a living doing it……however I kept setting unrealistic goals…..so I would cancel the plans….everything had to be perfect…..

I created a quote recently – “Perfectionism is Procrastination in a Prom Dress!”

So I adjusted the approach……Switch the goals…..to a ZONE…..and change your packing approach – STOP trying to cram it all in at once….be creative!

The more I thought about it; the more I realised that, with my new insight and a new level of confidence; I trusted myself more; that even if I didn’t ‘pack it all in the one bag for the journey’, I am savvy enough to deliver & make my life work, no matter where I am.

So what is the trick to taking the leap to unleash your purpose – Unleashing your Fabulousness?

  • STOP comparing – we are all on our own journey – stop letting your ego run the show and start listening to your heart – start focusing on the people around you who inspire you and connect with them – BE YOURSELF!
  • Listen to your language – your patterns are hidden in what you say – your thoughts create your world
  • GIVE yourself permission to give to yourself…..time…it is an incredible gift & it is FREE!!
  • RECEIVE – everything exists in balance – if someone wants to pay for your coffee to say thank you; let them 🙂 (ps. you wouldn’t give back a birthday gift – so allow people the gift of giving; be open to receiving from them & watch it flow).
  • JOURNAL!! Get your thoughts out of your head – gain some clarity; focus; peace….your heart will tell you what it wants if you listen….
  • BE bold – Unleash your dreams…What is your ideal day? Ideal holiday? Ideal home? Ideal Partner? Ideal Relationship?

Your purpose should you chose to accept it; is entirely up to you! 

Walkway through reeds

News!!! It is celebration time this month……Happy 1st Birthday Fabulousness Unleashed!!! and just in time to share with you my recent photo shoot!! YAY! 

Merci to Anthony Maragou for his artist photography for this week’s blog.

Choice, FOCUS, Health, Life style, Love, Self Confidence, Transformation

Excuses – is your wolf just wearing PJ’s??….what are you really hiding from???

excuses_b2

EXCUSES!!!
EXCUSES!!!
EXCUSES!!!

Did your mum ever say that to you as a kid – 3 times in a row; when you knew you had something to do and you hadn’t done it yet……and she asked you why not?????

Excuses.….we all have them…..good; bad; logical or not…..are EXCUSES a WOLF wearing different clothing, depending on the day?

Think about it?

Is it the most common conversation you hear…if you listen….do you hear the fear we carry around…..underlying those conversations…..is that what really stops us from operating to our full potential?

I have heard some amazing and quite creative excuses as to why someone is not worthy of having what they want……..

Then I started to wonder; it is ok to have excuses….even if we use a different word??? eg: reasons…..

And Why do we have them??

What is it that holds us back from doing the thing we know we need to do or doing the thing to avoid it?

Do we move towards the pleasure OR the pain of something due to the FEAR of the unknown?

Although I like George Washington’s quote – “It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.”

AND if you knew that by moving through your comfort zone; up to the next level, only actually took 4% more effort (which is 1 hour of your day) to reach something you truly desired…..would you do it?

If you knew that the statement of “I am just too busy” would stop you from reaching that new goal or “I don’t have enough money” – or “I have to talk to my husband”‘ could ultimately prevent you from ever really being your most incredible version of yourself…..would you stop and think about another way of doing it?

brain

I have learnt this year that it is natural that the biology of change – as we change – that we do feel uncomfortable, our limiting beliefs kick in – it keeps us from moving……what is this thing called a “limiting belief” you ask????

Well it is the belief that you create between the ages of 1 and 7 yrs old…..something happened….we decide that; that is how it is how it is going to be – our version of reality – we protect our selves…..yet – I ask you – how well are we equipped at the age of 7 to deal with the greater world outside of ourselves???

Look; I know we think we are – but it is the belief/habit that tells we are………the belief that you created as a little person….who did the best with what they had at the time – it kept you safe…..up until now that is…….

So instead of having what we want…..we sabotage to keep ourselves safe…whether that is with a diet (food); savings (spending); job (promotion); boy meets girl (relationship)…..believe me…I was an expert at Self Sabotage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK – right now, take look at the reason why you don’t have what you want…………

Is being safeplaying small – hiding behind the excuses, really going to get you the life you want???

If so, what are you going to do about it?

Well nothing….you are too busy….right??!!!

Well there is the choice to do something….time to flip them!

  • Step 1 – take a pen and a piece of paper
  • Step 2 – write down the 1 big thing you really want to achieve or do or place to go……
  • Step 3 – write down all the excuses of why you can’t have it –
  • Step 4 – keep going….keep writing……yes…that means writing more than 1 page….
  • Step 5 – read it out loud to yourself….keep reading……keep reading until all the emotion has gone out of it…you might laugh; cry; get angry….just allow yourself to feel
  • Step 6 – now – allow your mind to just write…..what is it that you really want and start to change your thoughts around it….

Can you sit there; close your eyes and really picture in your mind…..allow all of your senses in…smell it; feel it; taste it…….until that new belief makes you smile! 🙂 Now go write it down somewhere; a place where you will see it everyday – like your shower door or bathroom mirror…….

GIVE yourself permission to change…to have what you want….only you can do it …life is too short not too!!

Step up away from the fear – from the excuses!

You are worth it!EXCUSES

I have said it before – you can HAVE THE EXCUSE OR YOU CAN HAVE THE TRAINING – you can’t have both……

Training your mindset will change your life and it starts with you………..so stop using my blog as an excuse to NOT go for a walk/hug your wife/dream a little bigger/or tell someone you love them…… and JUST GO!

See you next time 😉

Ps. please share below what excuse you flipped….

Body Image, Celebrate, Choice, Determination, Fitness, FOCUS, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Mental Health, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

Spring into Soul September – 20 things to think about…….

What an incredible morning!!

I am sitting here on my balcony with the sun warming my skin before starting work……..and loving how blessed I am to do this simple action; in a peaceful; healthy city; a place where I can give myself permission to just BE 🙂

(Which now as I write this; feels like I have champagne bubbles of energy floating around me!!)

You-Are-My-Sunshine

With this sunshine moment – HELLO SPRING!!!! – It got me thinking…………..how much I have noticed of late; that as a society; we have slipped back into getting lost in the negative spirals of things that aren’t in our control……

LIKE WHAT?? Well, Why someone doesn’t listen the way we want them too? OR How rude someone was to you in that line while waiting to get coffee!!?? OR Why is it always so hard to get what you want?? OR  Why after trying so hard for so long; am I not losing weight? OR Why is the service so slow? OR Why is it so expensive to buy fuel???

Theses are just some of the things I have heard of late…..Is it that we have simply just forgotten or is it that we have stopped acknowledging the beautiful world around us???? When did we start taking the most amazing gift of simply just living; of simply just being – just being us – you – me 🙂 – for granted?????

With so any different ways to “connect”with others happening at any one time…….do we really ‘connect’? I have asked this many times over the last few months, as it feels like we have lost the ability to just connect in general not just to everyone else; but to ourselves…..and sadly we have over the last few weeks lost so many incredible souls from this world and it made me wonder………

When did we stop nourishing ourselves and when it become at a cost of losing ourselves?

THE GIFT OF BEING ALIVE!

As most of you know my journey to loving myself has been a rocky road; a roller coaster and endless rabbit holes tumbles…..

So many emotions; AHH moments; changes; breakdowns and triumphs! Looking back now; I LOVE all of it – I realised that it is all part of the journey….it is called BEING ALIVE! 

Lately though there has been a significant shift to a world of contentment and peace….. of incredible gratitude to my mind and my body on how far I have really come. With so much going on in the world; I find now that I no longer want to turn on the news and see more destruction or war……..I know that I need to be more present in what I do and the impact that can have…I want to make a difference in the world; in how women see each other; how they see themselves; within themselves.

And that starts with me…I am your reflection….I know that there is a lot more to unpack; however the fear has been replaced by adventure and a balance that I haven’t had in a long time – nourishing myself in every aspect not just in food or time or money or things.

So here are a few little things that have nourished my soul; my mind and hence my body over the winter months….so a little thank you my body and my mind.

Thank you to you for reading; as I wanted to share theses with you; to remind you to love the body you are in – no matter your age; shape; gender or position in the world.

Loving you – starts within you 🙂 

  1. BREATHE!! Stop and take some deep breaths – right now – really breathe…..it is amazing 🙂 plus you will instantly feel better!
  2. BE grateful – spend 5 minutes each morning just saying “Thank you” to your body 🙂
  3. Celebrate all that your body can do!!! Work on a plan to achieve new levels of movement – whether it is a new yoga pose or jogging for an extra minute or doing an extra pushup or walking a different route to view a new part of your city.
  4. REMOVE CAN”T & TRY from your vocabulary – You’ve got this – shift your mindset….one piece at a time –  you have 1 life 🙂 enjoy it!
  5. Acknowledge your own uniqueness – there is no one else in the world who is you or like you! HOW FREAKIN’ awesome is that!
  6. Celebrate your success – share your wins – don’t be shy – how will anyone know if you don’t tell them 🙂
  7. Tell the little voice in your head to get off at the next bus stop; YOU ARE YOU – defined by your personality; gifts and contribution to the world not your weight on a scale; your shoe size or dress size! 
  8. Do something for yourself that feels good – for me this week – a massage 🙂 oh and giving myself permission to sleep in!
  9. STOP with the excuses – write down everything that is holding you back – and then read it out loud until you laugh at yourself – change the way you view the excuses – you just might surprise yourself.
  10. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up; inspire you and have your back (by the way; if people try to pull you down; you are already above their level!)
  11. When looking at FACEBOOK or Magazine – remember what you are seeing is someone’s end results – you haven’t seen the years of training; nutrition nor do you have that person’s genetics (and yes I know that it is also photo shopped as well)- so STOP COMPARING! 
  12. Recently I had a photo shoot (it was incredible!!!) I was very clear that I didn’t want any changes made – however I saw my scars and stetchmarks on my breasts in one of the photos and asked if that could be ‘touched up’ – the photographer smile at me and said “Every lady I have shot, has stretchmarks; it is a beautiful thing how women’s bodies adapt – so I can but then it is not  you”.
  13. I have discovered the fun in exercise and movement again – YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  and since I have found it again – I noticed that – it is trueno one is actually looking at me while I am exercising (OK; yes my instructor is – she is great and is helping me modify in certain moves so I still get a work out but don’t aggravate my lower back) – everyone is focused on their workout – their results – SO who cares how much you sweat??!!!- it means that your body is working and moving!! Thank you body for working and moving 🙂
  14. Stop turning to food to validate your beautiful self! I know for me; for so long food was used as a reward; (childhood) So why not find something else to reward yourself with; for being you – like a sleep in or a good laugh at a movie with a friend or some quiet time outside in the sun – I also want to you look at why the food is the comfort in the first place??
  15. Give yourself permission to slow down live in the moment instead of jumping ahead……..(you know the old saying – fit your own oxygen mask first before helping others)
  16. Start valuing you; for you! – When did stop trusting your choice – your intuition???? Write a list and work on one thing a day or a week if it is too much…..trust in your choice – you chose that reaction – take responsibility for it – STARTING RIGHT NOW!
  17. Drink more water – Are you serious – YES I AM GOD DAMN SERIOUS!! Your body is made up of 75% water – replenish it – you won’t want to grab for the other things as much…..like the coke or the ice coffee or the wine….
  18. Do something for a stranger – something little – like clean out your clothes or items in the house you don’t use anymore….give them to people who needs them – offer to walk your neighbour’s dog – For me – every few weeks I pick a bin in my apartment complex and I put it out for that person 🙂
  19. Write a card or a letter to someone to acknowledge who they are for you – win – win – as you both feel amazing – or offer to babysit for a friend so her and her husband can have a date night……
  20. Play your favourite music – DANCE – LAUGH – BE A SILLY JELLYBEAN – SING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS! I danced around the house the other day just because and GOD it felt great! 🙂
  21. BONUS POINT – When you look in the mirror today – SMILE – that beautiful; gorgeous; sexy; incredible beingSHE IS AMAZING and all she has wanted you to do is to love and accept her just as she is and once you stop fighting with her……….you will be amaze at what starts to flow into you life……..

Please share below what you are going to do today to nourish yourself….. 🙂  I would love to know 🙂

bodylove

Next week’s postExcuses – a sheep in wolf’s clothing or a Wolf wearing PJ’s??….what are you really hiding???