Body Image, Emotional Wellbeing, Health, Mental Health, Self Love

What a difference a year can make! Breast Cancer -it picked the wrong woman to fuck with!

Hello Amazing Peeps!

I know, I know!
It has been a while in between written posts!

SO much has happened in the last 12months – I returned to Europe for a month (it was amazing to be back!), took on new private clients, launched my WHOLE BODY FUSION workshop series and found a lump in my left breast.

Yep – you read that right!

36 years old and I received a cancer diagnosis – you have Invasive carcinoma of the left breast. My GP said to me “thank goodness you are healthy and fit and have the right mindset!”

If you have been following my FB page Selina Jane Louise – you would have seen that I documented the journey through photos and LIVE video blogs – so that I can continue to raise awareness around body awareness, acceptance, connection and LOVE.

My desire is to continue to inspire everyone to CHANGE the WAY they THINK about THEMSELVES! Especially women – we need to model excellence to level our lives up and soar!

You desire to have what you want and you do no service to the world by HOLDING BACK!

It is time to stop holding ourselves back!

I was – HOLDING MYSELF BACK – PLAYING SMALL – HIDING and then something happened (Cancer the unspoken blessing) and I realised that if I stop all of that – I am UNSTOPPABLE!

CANCER picked the wrong woman to FUCK with!

I have come through  surgery which is known as a Lumpectomy also called breast-conserving surgery or wide local excision because — unlike a mastectomy — only a portion of the breast is removed & my nipple re-attached.  Then had fertility and have 22 frozen eggs now. I have now completed my CHEMO cycles (which was not pretty & at times freaking scary), I also got to trial the new PAXMAN Cold Cap which for stage 2 breast cancer patients helps to minialmise the hair loss (I cut it off and donated it prior to treatment and went slightly bald on the top during treatment 🙂 ).

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My amazing hairdresser Bartholomew who donated his time to support me

I was determined that CHEMO was to be FUN – and to focus my mind & thoughts on healing, healthy cells, vitality and LOVE! (You had to wear something on your head if you came to see me!) Oh and plus I got a visit from CEO of Icon Cancer Care – he was great fun!

CHEMO sent me into early menopause so monthly I have ZOLDEX injected to preserve my ovaries. I will be on hormone therapy for the next 5yrs with 6monthly check ups.

I am now a STAT – I am only 5% of women under 40 who got Breast Cancer here in Australia -and with no family history I decided to pay for genetic testing (over $1000 and had to sent it to the USA – so thank you COLOR!) The results came back negative to any of the 30 cancer genes that were tested including BRAC 1&2.

SO I am in the 70% unexplained as to why I got it.

MINDSET MAGIC

However – who care about the WHY! It is the HOW I am going to LIVE & WHO I AM going to be in this world with this new awareness! I am so proud of my mind and body for what it is doing to regenerate and optimise for a new level of health & vitality!

I know now that if I had not have done the work on myself…my mind…my bullshit beliefs…my fears…my self hate – then I would not have been able to process and deal with this process as I have! Everyday I meditate and set my intention to thrive! Everyday I listen to recordings to have my cells regenerate! I am also using so many complimentary therapies as well to support my system including Reiki, Chinese Herbal Medicine, Acupunture, Kinesiology, Chiropractic, Body Work, Compounding Chemist and Hypnosis.

I am so determined that my ONLY CHOICE is to LIVE with more passion, more purpose, more power and MORE LOVE than ever before!
I did a lot of release work on myself the night before the surgery and during CHEMO including all my past LOVES and the disappointments that I held onto (my heart sits under my left breast) I have been trying to protect my heart from hurt and I have been missing out on so much JOY & SO MUCH LOVE!

I know now, what I really want!  More than ever that I want it ALL (I have release the guilt and ‘I am not enough story’) and will continue to come from a place of LOVE, ACCEPTANCE and CONNECTION to share my insights and inspire others to make the changes for themselves to SHINE, INSPIRE & SOAR in their own lives. That is why I love my Personal Power Coaching Sessions with my clients, My workshops and guest speaking gigs – because it is powerful to transform and there is so much freedom and peace in it.

 

So….I am curious to know: 
What is it that you really want? 

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Share below xx or write on my FB wall 🙂

Ps. If you want daily MOJO MEMOS then please head over to Selina Jane Louise and follow me.

It brings me so much joy to serve you & if you want coaching – send me a Private Message on FB and let’s see what we can create!

Body Image, Celebrate, Emotional Wellbeing, Life style, Love

My Thank you to Dr Wayne Dyer x

What an incredible blessing to have him in this world…

The blessing & adventure will continue as we embrace his messages and his legacy lives on in all of us and his family. Thank you to his family for sharing this great being with us all.

This is my thank you to you Dr Wayne Dyer.

Dear Wayne,

Many times you have given me insight & clarity around my life – my situations – my emotions – my reactions and my evolution.

Known to many of us as  “Father of Motivation” – you are the Father of Inspiration to me.

You over came so much in your life to rise up and live your dreams – you created the most extraordinary life – your dreams became your reality!

You remind me to live an Extraordinary Life – because I am Extraordinary Being regardless of the past – I have risen above it and will continue to do so -even on the days when I feel powerless or as you say – my ego takes overs – LOL!

I cried for the physical loss of you from this world – recently you were here in Brisbane & I was unable to attend &  thought – next time. Well, that is not meant to be however thanks to the power of the internet I will continue to watch you on youtube 🙂

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYpN6UX4Ikg

One of my favourite blogs of that you have written was about changing our language to “I am”…..I am that I am – I am as powerful as I chose to be.

http://www.drwaynedyer.com/blog/the-power-of-i-am/

As one of my favourite spiritual teachers – I have enjoyed your teachings, humour & discussions – Thank you.

I know that you are only in the next room & it is up to me to live this Extraordinary life to an Extraordinary level.

Thank you for sharing your journey, lessons & teachings with us all – most importantly thank you for giving me another way to view my life, my body, my soul. Love Selina

One of my favourite quotes - Thank you
One of my favourite quotes – Thank you
Body Image, Emotional Wellbeing, exercise, Fitness, FOCUS, Passion, Self awareness, Self Confidence

Game of Bullshit -you don’t need motivation to exercise!

I get asked a lot – Where do I find the motviation to exercise?

Honestly – What motivation?

OLD PACK OF CARDS

I used to use exercise as a form of punishment; sometimes for 2 hours a day (1 hour in the morning & 1 hour at night – worst part…it was also how I dealt with stress). WE know that the medical world & science tell us that movement is vital to healthy body & a long life – yet it is not just about the movement – it is also about the what is going on in the mind……

The punishment wore many coats –

  • the food I ate to stuff down my emotions
  • the emotions I was to afraid to feel
  • the self talk and blame about mistakes I made at work or results I didn’t get – (code for the old belief – i am not good enough)
  • I was using the number on the scale as my reward

I will stop there….

The thing is – I call BULLSHIT – we all spend so much time trying to use ‘motivation’ to get results -yet if motivation really was the key & it worked – we would just do it! but because we don’t trust ourselves to do what is REALLY important & so we keep comparing ourselves to everyone else, we forget what really matters…Do you want to lose moments comparing apples to oranges – when they are both gorgeous, colourful, juicy & yummy just as they are???

WHEN was the last time you asked yourself – WHAT DO I WANT?

NEW PACK OF CARDS

The thing that I have learnt is that when you trust in yourself & you are inspired by how you feel and what you want – with no comparsion to ANYONE ELSE or their body or their shape or height – you remember that YOUR BODY is your body – it is designed differently to everyone else – and NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO – your results will always be your results – do the work….movement….exercise…the excuses stop & you start to be honest with what it is that you really want!

YOU don’t need more motivation – what you need is inspiration – and it starts with you asking – What do I want?

Where do you get it? 

Well it is different for everyone – for me – I generate myself to exercise & I use others to inspire me to exercise but the best part of cutting through the BULLSHIT is NOW I inspire me.

Feeling good on my morning jog!

MY TIPS

  1. Set goals that FEEL GOOD! THIS is your life – your body  – do what feels good – walk for 20mins 3 times per week….build yourself up at YOUR PACE! My goal is to move everyday – and my min is now movement -5 times per week
  2. Do what you want! (you will LOVE IT MORE!) I used to flog myself doing so many different things – now I do what I enjoy – jogging/yoga/hot pilates/boxing/kettlebells/HIIT & bellydancing once and a while 😉
  3. Chart your movement – I have a calender with stars/congratulations stickers which I log each time I do movement including the NIKE app for my jogging….love seeing how much movement I am doing 🙂
  4. Accountability – I love that I can log my mojo movement with someone – even if she is not with me – I know she has my back -Thanks Danni! Check her out at http://pricelesspt.com/
  5. GIVE yourself time – change it up and make it work for you! Motivation is what it is and is different for us all – for me – I know that I need to generate myself each day – like just a power station that generates and sends out power to the city each day – it comes from within the power plant….it comes from trusting you.

So trust yourself – do what feels good  – this is what worked for me and I continue to review it and change it up! 20mins of movement each day is not just good for your body – it is good for your mind & it reflects from the inside-out.

And now – I am off for my jog 🙂

Body Image, Body Love, Celebrate, Health, Love, Self awareness, Self Love

Being slim- the fear & the pressure………WTF???

A while ago I was in my HOT YOGA class and was doing a downward facing dog and I saw my thighs  – they were a different shape and my first reaction was –

“HOLY FUCK!! My thighs are skinny….oh that’s not good….”

The FEAR of the pressure of being thin…..

At the time I just pushed the thought out of my head…..however since then I have realised that – I am afraid of being THIN  – because being THIN = BEING ILL.

I decided to explore this more and began reading, “A course in weightloss 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering your weight forever” BY Marianne Williamson.

It is a different world being healthy and fit – you FEEL DIFFERENT – more alive and happy and vibrant!!! You look different, clothes fit different and people treat you different (i know we shouldn’t but when you have been FAT for most of your life people judge you more – I don’t know why but they do) – People used to look in my trolley at what I was buying – the look on their faces says it all…I even had a lady once shake her head at me after looking in my trolley.

Yet I realise that the pressure to be THIN to look a certain way is BIGGER than the SHAME I felt at being fat. Yet right now I am healthy & slim – so why is THIN so scary???

HOLY CRAP! Why is being THIN more scary then being SLIM & HEALTHY??

Exploring this thought and realiseation as I read the book, I noticed AGAIN that no matter what SIZE we are – there is this intense pressure to be (ACTUALLY – NO) – to LOOK a certain way – “the ideal” – who, what & when did this get decided??? AND what the FUCK is “ideal”???

For years I beat myself up for NOT being the PERFECT SIZE 10 with sexy thin thighs and flat stomach – GOD – HOW MUCH TIME & ENERGY DID I WASTE????

How much time and energy do you let this kind of self talk consume your daily thoughts??? 50%? 70%? 90%??!!

For me it was 90% of my day!! YET during my transformational journey, I have learnt that it is more important how I LOVE & SEE myself & BY doing this – my thoughts changed…my belief changed – that being THIN is not scary – it is what it represented to me.

Hence, noticing this reaction to my thighs in HOT YOGA, I realised that for the first time in a long time, I was seeing my body exactly as it is. It is not THIN or SLIM or FAT – it is my body BEAUTIFUL in all it’s glory & noticing where there used to be NO love, I now see  LOVE .

IT was the FEAR that caught me by surprise – the old judgement. So a lesson learnt here, is so where there was FEAR – now I give it LOVE. The FEAR for me was that BEING THIN/SLIM meant being ill…being hurt…being in pain. YET the more I  allow the LOVE and forgivenness to occur, the more my body has begun to reshape itself in a new form.

My body is now showing me what is wants to be, NOT how I had been seeing it – ‘that nothing I do will ever change my thighs’ because being thin equals being ill.”

Another insight from her book has been, removing my own self judgement from the old me  – she taught me a lot and now it is time to allow the new me to teach me a few things 😉

So my question to you – What made you decide to stop loving your body?

Share your thoughts below xx

Inspiration is on the move xx with love from Little Miss Fabulousness xmarianne

Body Image, Choice, Determination, Emotional Wellbeing, Life style, Love, Self awareness, Self Love

Soulfulness & Sunshine….

Our world is constantly changing…

Change is constant….

We are changing…

Everyday our world turns, some days have more sadness, others more joy.  Personally, I like to look for the the miracles, the awareness, the compassion & the kindness.

This week, my SOUL needed to connect again to the purpose of it all.

Soul Lesson

As we live, love and learn in this life, I was reminded this week that we can’t control the world outside of us, WE can control our reaction to it – with compassion; love; awareness and clarity.

Your perspective is important as is having LOVE for yourself; from the inside out. This can light up the world – so why do we focus so much on the sadness?

Why do we focus so much on what is NOT working instead of WHAT WE WANT?

Who said that we can’t have it all???

So WHAT DO YOU WANT???

If you can’t answer that specifically then just sit with it for a while…give some LOVE to yourself – just be you; be compassionate…we all have our stories that drive our lives, at times we need to stop and check that LOVE is in the driver seat & not fear.

Sunshine

I thrive in the sunshine, (and by the water)…so this week I took a little time to step away from the computer; to be still; breathe; & just write….write to reconnect into what I NEED to do to take care of my heart and soul – that way I can be of service to others because I am focused on LOVE, not fear, pain, sadness, judgement or hurt.

(I am still writing….so take your time 😉 )

Tapping into the source

I tap into some pretty amazing people around me! So I suggest you do the same – so ask for some support/ideas/time – allow them to step into their power!  THEN I TAP into me 🙂

SO TAP into you! Ask yourself – What is important to you & then ask yourself – What do I WANT? You control your emotions, your reactions, where your energy goes – trust your heart & allow your soul some sunshine 🙂

Reflect, relax, rejuvinate & be clear about what you really want.

This is one of my favourite sayings & I use it often in my coaching conversations. This week I used it as a reminder to be grateful for all the lessons in life – I hope it gives you some soulfulness & sunshine for your weekend as you take some time out for your soul to tap into what you REALLY WANT 🙂 xx

Beautiful reminder.....
Beautiful reminder…..
Body Image, Emotional Wellbeing, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Self awareness, Self Love

Self LOVE, Health & Happiness!!! And everything in between! My chat with the one & only Happiness Strategist Carl Massy

I am super excited to bring you a little something different this week!!

My interview with the Happiness Strategist,  Author, Teacher, Coach – all the way from Bali –

Mr Carl Massy.

Bali_carl_sel
Hanging with the Author himself in Bali May 2014

Welcome, Welcome Carl to Fabulousness Unleashed! I am so thrilled to have you here and for you to share with my readers your story and tips!! 

Background

Thanks Selina – It is always fun to sum up the last 45 years of my life into a paragraph or two. The chronological version is 14 years as an officer in the Australian army, then 5 years consulting to Olympic & Asian Games around the world, followed by a move to Bali in 2007 to set up a Coaching Business, after having studied NLP, hypnotherapy, reiki and fitness training. Plus throw in reading about 500 books on self-development, then writing a book on happiness and one on health, and travelling through over 50 countries and we are getting closer.

But the real story is pain, disconnection, a good dose of unhappiness, and way too much alcohol in order to dull these unpleasant feelings. Followed by an opportunity (intervention) to do something about it in the form of a Sunday night 3am infomercial selling a 30-day ‘personal development’ program by Success Coach, Tony Robbins. So in Easter 1999 I completely changed the course of my life. I took personal responsibility. I sought out and devoured knowledge. I changed my thinking and my habits. I actually changed my personality and as Dr Dispenza says, ‘when you change your personality, you change your personal reality’. I became different and so did my results.

On my journey I have met a lot of phonies, a lot of loons, but most importantly I have met some AMAZING individuals, doing amazing stuff. One of which was the lovely Kylie Ryan (www.mymindcoach.com.au), who did me the honour of introducing me to Selina and encouraging her to join me on my Life Coach Training course. Getting to know Selina’s ‘story’ and getting to hang out with her, has been a lot of fun, more learning, and a chance for both of us to grow. Hoorah!!

Selina: What does happiness mean to you?

I love to get the tough questions out-of-the-way first. Happiness for me is the by-product of the thinking, feeling and behaviours we practice through our days. It is the result of the things we do, the choices we make, and the way we show up in each moment. I can actually generate a strong feeling of happiness in any moment, when I connect to love, gratitude and my breath.

The challenge for me (and all of us I think) is to create a life and lifestyle, which allows us to experience these feelings, without conscious focus. There are definitely things we can do (or stop doing) that increase the duration and depth of our feelings of happiness.

Selina: Can you share with my readers, why do you love what you do?

I love experiencing the feelings of happiness and joy and connection. And one of the quickest ways to experience more of those emotions is to help others experience more of them too. I have also decided that the purpose of life is to fully express our authentic self, in a way that also serves others. So if I spend my time helping others to experience more joy and health in their lives (in an authentic Carl Massy kind of way), I will not only experience more joy and health in my own life, but I will be living a life rich with purpose. What’s not to love about that? 😉

Selina: Please share with us your top 5 strategies for generating happiness & health?

Only 5? 😉

  1. Move our entire bodies a lot more than we currently do (for physical and mental health). Tal Ben-Sharar, former Harvard Professor says, ‘Not exercising is like taking a depressant.’
  2. Mediate daily. Our modern lifestyles demand this practice. Benefits are numerous but include deactivating the stress response and even changing how genes are expressed in our bodies.
  3. Eat a lot more plant-based whole foods, to crowd out processed foods. They are nutrient rich, and absolutely essential for complete physical and mental health.
  4. Consciously choose your goals. Choose goals that are good for you, good for others, and good for the greater good. The better goals you choose, the more fulfilling your life will be.
  5. Slow down and increase the level of your consciousness. Become conscious enough to challenge your beliefs, your stories, your thoughts, your habits, your behaviours, your past results, your future expectations. Consciousness is the best tool to co-create the future of our dreams.

I know I was only allowed 5, but I want to add one more –

KNOW that you have more POTENTIAL in you. Know that you can be 20 times better. You have power that is, as yet, untapped. We all have.

Selina: When we love what we do, it is not work. I would love to know what drives your passion?

I am passionate about knowledge. I love to learn. I love to understand. I love to figure things out. I love to work out what little thing makes all the difference when it comes to people and their results. I love people. I love working out how to improve things. I love sharing. I love teaching. I guess in the end it is my love for all of these things that drives me; so I guess I am driven by the feelings I experience when I do these things. The same could be said for everyone. The more we do those things we love to do, the more passion (fuel) we create. So as you said, discover what you love to do. And do more of that.

Selina: What are your plans for the year of 2015?

Since my passions are learning and sharing, I am on a mission this year to inform people about what it really takes to optimize their health. Most of the ‘stuff’ we are told about health is incomplete or totally wrong. This totally pisses me off! So this year my mission is to share the knowledge I have learned about optimizing health. In The Guidebook to Optimum Health, I have consolidated the knowledge from 100’s of books, my work with 100’s of clients and my own personal health experiences to inform people what they have been missing, and the lies they have been told. Most people (and medical professionals) totally miss the essential keys to health. If you care about your own health, or know someone who is ‘sick’ you really need to grab a copy! (Editor Note – here is the link 😉 http://www.carlmassy.com/books ).

I will also be running our small Exclusive Life Coach Training Course in Bali in June 2015, and a MindBody Detox Retreat in Bali in September 2015.

This was the sunrise one morning while I was at the course last year!!!
This was the sunrise one morning while I was at the course last year!!!

Thanks a lot for asking me such thought-provoking questions too Selina. All the best for 2015 to you and your readers!!

Thanks Carl!!

I have loved having you visit!! Always great to share knowledge and create new networks! Check out Carl’s recent adventures (visiting Brisbane is just one of them!!!) including the launch of his new book over at https://www.facebook.com/CarlMassyPage

Networking in Brisbane March 2015
Networking in Brisbane
Body Image, Body Love, Choice, Emotional Wellbeing, FOCUS, Love, Self awareness, Self Confidence

My Memo to YOU!

This week commencement with International Women’s Day! Everywhere I went, I saw an incredible overflow of strength, courage, love, support and inspiration – it warmed my heart but also pulled at my soul at the same time……

I wondered, why is it even in this modern era, that we can’t support, love, encourage & inspire each other everyday, do we really need reminding?

And then I realised -no, we don’t need reminding! It is everywhere – we just have to see it, feel it, do it!

I do!  YAY! Everyday – my MEMO’s on the Facebook page, do this – how do I know? Well I set it as my intention to support, love, encourage, inspire each and everyone one of you everyday. (Plus you all tell me 🙂 )

WHY? So that YOU generate in yourself, the desire, the focus, to stand in your own power and be the best version of you!

There are so many of us that do this for each other -in different forms, everyday – however I think we just forget that in the choas and craziness of life, what it looks like…So make sure if someone inspires you, tell them thank you 🙂 spread the intention for us to stand in our power like never before! It is time…..

 

SO here is my Memo to every single one of you around the world!

I want to encourage you, EVERY single one of you to STEP up, LEVEL up, STAND tall, BE proud, be CONFIDENT, be HAPPY & let’s celebrate our success, our lives, our love, our selves, with each other, not just today – but EVERYDAY!

I want to acknowledge that each one of us is unique, we bring something to this world that no one else does – yet we have forgotten that. We have gotten caught up in the comparsion, the competition, the down ward spiral of trying to please and be what ‘we think’ others want us to be, instead of being ‘what we truly are’.

STOP holding back – STOP hiding your dreams because of FEAR – it doesn’t serve you!

Look – it is not secret that for a long time, I didn’t trust myself, feel confident or love the woman looking back at me in the mirror.

YES – somedays are tough – I feel guilty for wanting more, I feel isolated because I am different, however all of that – is just part of being human -I know that I am evolving everyday and that I am not the same woman I was 2 months ago, let alone 2 years ago.

I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for the rabbit hole, the darkest hours, the trauma, the re-build – the choices I made.

SO STAND IN YOUR POWER!

LEAD BY EXAMPLE!

LOVE WILDLY!

LIVE WITH ADVENTURE! 

HONOUR YOUR BODY! YOUR SOUL! YOUR HEART!

BE YOU!  

I want to say THANKY YOU to all of the women in the world before this era, who created a new platform for us to be all that we can be!

I want to say THANK YOU to the all of the women in the world today, who strive everyday to make a contribution – in their families, their work, their communities, in themselves!

I want to say THANK YOU to the men who love, accept and support us unconditionally to be the best versions of ourselves! (because we love that you let us do this for you too!)

I want to say THANK YOU to all the amazing women who surround me, inspire me & love me for who I am!

INSPIRATION IS ON THE MOVE!

Love

Little Miss Fabulousness

18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle kindofwoman

Body Image, Body Love, Celebrate, Happiness, Love, Self awareness, Self Confidence, Self Love, Tips

13 things you can do today, to LOVE your body a little more

In the spirit all things LOVE, (although I don’t believe that we should have to be reminded to tell someone we love them due to a hallmark card day, but that is just me 😉 )….I started to reflect on what it really means to LOVE….be LOVE….give LOVE & in the interest of SELF LOVE – what are you doing each day to show yourself LOVE?18718MCG_Selina McGarrigle

Recenlty , I have notice more and more, how much we are blaming/shaming/comparing our beautiful bodies for not being this, or being that – WTF??!

So here you go, a few tips on giving some LOVE to that Gorgeous, Divine, Sexy, Beautiful, One and Only body!

  1. Move your body – Be grateful that it moves with ease and grace; some people ain’t so lucky to have that freedom & choice – so go for a walk, do some yoga, dance in the kitchen to your favourite song – feel yourself move!
  2. Feel – Think about a time when you felt amazing! Harness that feeling -feel it in every cell of your body – hold that thought for a few minutes – you will feel better instantly!
  3. Underneath Sexy – A good friend of mine is a Tantic Sex Coach & I alway remember her advice to me – Wear underwear that makes you feel alive and sexy! It is underneath your clothes; on your skin…reminding you how beautiful you are and how sexy you feel….you will smile just thinking about it 😉
  4. Meditate – Visualise your body being healthy – your mind is an amazing tool – go outside for 5 minutes during your lunch break or first thing in the morning – just spend some time with yourself. (ps. you could even take yourself on a date…..???)
  5. Accept – This is your one and only body – treasure it, it is a temple, you one and only place to reside….so start to decorate it, enjoy it and LOVE it – beeause it will thrive on that!
  6. Support – Spend time around people who will inspire you & lift you up – get out and about with theses people – do things you LOVE- get together and train together
  7. Mantra – stop your bullshit self talk! I am so fat – or I am not pretty enough – blah! That lanugage doesn’t serve you, beside you are not fat – you have fat – instead try -I am beautiful because I am beautiful!
  8. Role Model – Think of your faviourite female role model – channel the things you admire about her – get your Oprah on 😉
  9. SLEEP!! Rest and rejunvinate your body and mind – you think clearer, you are more focused and effective. Sleep is your friend….allow yourself a sleep in or a pj day even! 🙂
  10. Acknowledgement – Stop focusing on what you don’t like – start to appreicate what you do like – the colour of your eyes – hair – the shape of your breasts  – legs.
  11. STOP comparing – The only person you should be in competition with – is yourself!
  12. ASK those around you what they LOVE about you (because you are more than just a body) and then put them up on your wall and read them everyday!
  13. Self pleasure – turn off the TV, close the laptop, put your phone on silent and go indulge in some self pleasure fun time – enjoy your body and the amazing release that an orgasm can bring you……

 SELF love has no conditions – it is right now!

So how will you nourish & love your mind, your body today? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below x

Body Image, Celebrate, Choice, Fitness, Health, Love, Self Confidence, Self Love

Deny thy myth and refuse the bullshit! The weightloss side effects that no one talks about

Don’t you love the start of the year – everything is fresh – new – exciting!!! We sit & brainstorm our ideas….we daydream about our goals & give ourselves permission to enjoy basking in the feeling of ‘this year it will be different!!”

So then what happens when you get to the end of the year; and you realise it was!!! YOU did it!! You achieved your health and body goals for the year!! YAY!!!!

Yet when it comes to our body & health goals – one of the most important one is to be happy with the consistency of taking care of it! (Don’t do something that you, can’t imagine doing everyday for the rest of your life!) So JUST because you have reached it, doesn’t mean that the self care/love stops – it is a beautiful, fun, crazy on-going journey. Yet something else I realised last year, is that there are side effects that no one tells you about on your journey of weight release…..

So I am taking the lid off and sharing a few things I have learnt……….

  • Your Body & Mind change at different paces…

Transformation from the inside out – takes time – as does actually seeing the results! It took me a year to see the difference!! I feel slim and sexy but there are days were I dont’ see it! So instead of feeling crap about that -or comparing yourself to someone else at the gym or work (because it is not worth it), I focus on the good things – like compliments to myself – looking at the definition in my arms or how fit I feel!

Because when I feel radiant and happy on the inside – it shows on the outside! (so be a little patient with yourself 😉 )

  • Skin and Stretchmarks.

Excess skin wasn’t so much of an issue for me (although my bust there is plenty of that & they are not a firm anymore!!) – but stretchmarks….wow!! No one ever told me about the stretchmarks – you know you are stretching but you don’t think of the consquences when you are eating ice-cream in the middle of the night because you are angry – will show on your skin! It is the biggest organ of our bodies – yet we do forget to nourish it on the outside.

For me now, my stretchmarks are my stripes of my story in many ways – they remind me how far I have come  and what it took to really let go of the ‘old me’.

So my tip – to help your skin heal (no they never go away but it is still another form of self care!!) rub in bio-oil or coconut oil twice a day, to help the skin recover. Book in a massage once a month – allow someone else to take care of your skin. Don’t make the good moisturer a treat – it is an everyday essential!

  • Naked Vs Clothed

I now dress to compliment my body and I look good in my gym gear – but naked…well the jury is still out.

Ok – it is true – there are days when I am still not totally comfortable with it the way I look naked. I can look at myself naked and enjoy my curves, but things move differently now then what I thought. You have to let it go, what you think ‘the perfect body is’ – this is your body – beautiful, whole & unique because it is yours – so enjoy it!

It comes back to gratitude again – be grateful for the sensational temple that it is – clothes or naked or gym gear or swimsuit! ENJOY IT!

Enjoy having a shower and feeling your body, appreicate it for what you just did at the gym with it. Have a massage and say to yourself  -It is safe for me to love and enjoy my body – give it the time and pleasure it deserves! This includes sleep and orgasms 😉

  •  Relationship with self and others…..

We tend to spend our lives neglecting the most important relationship we have – the one with ourself!

Hence we wonder why, we don’t know what we want or when we suddenly got off track. So many things comes before ourselves – and yet when start to put ourselves first – we are viewed as selfish – well if I can’t take care of me and be clear about my priorties and values – how can I then related to you as the amazing human being you are! So it isn’t being selfish – it is self caring because once you love and accept who you are – no one elses opinion matters and you accept others with much more ease and grace.

As for dating – the dynamic changes and no you are not always going to be what others are attracted too – I know some people who don’t like dating someone shorter than them – so what – that is what they are attracted too. However keep this in mind – you love and accept you – you will attract the person who desires everything about you & remember the saying;

Dita-Von-Teese-quote

  • Expensive to change and update wardrobe…

Some people have said to me it ‘costs too much money to replace all my clothes!!” Well so does a funeral if we want to be that extreme!

For most of my journey – and prior to be honest – I don’t enjoy clothes shopping – but I do enjoy Op shopping – looking for that 1 piece – something unique that stands out.  So yes, as you release the weight, change body shape and start living –  you will start to change and upgrade your wardrobe AND YOU KNOW WHAT??? YOU ARE TOTALLY WORTH IT! The money will come – i promise 🙂 In the meantime have a clothe swapping party and invites some friends over – laugh and have fun!

What out weighs it all is this; 

I am healthier, fitter & happier than I have been in years! 

I now carry this gorgeous body with confidence, feeling radiantly alive!  

And why? Because it is totally worth it! Please share your intentions with me below, for yourself this year! Enjoy the year and start celebrating achieving your goals now, you just might find that you get there a little sooner.

Body Image, Choice, Happiness, Life style, Love, Self Love

ENOUGH…OR AM I too much???

“Why am I not enough??”

WTF? I hear you say??? It’s true…it has come to my attention that I have been operating from the place of “I am NOT enough”. So what do you do? Well – logically, you move as you are not a tree or if you don’t have enough of something – you go get it! Right?

Yet in the world emotional eating – “Have you had enough?” never has seemed that simple.

We keep going because we fear on missing out on something – that last bite…or I will never get to eat this again (have this feeling with this action again…) so we keep going, even though we know it is not good for us – body – mind – soul – this is not just emotional/psychological side -it is also medical/physcial side – I will share more on that later.

Recently I posted on Facebook a Memo for Today – as I had been in conversation with a coach-in-training,  around “Being Enough” – what is that all about? and When do you know you have had enough…and have become enough…

MISSING THE MESSAGES, ODDLY ENOUGH..

‘I am Enough, as I am!” – no matter how many times I have seen this over the last couple of year…I didn’t really pay attention.  It came again in the same week,  as I was speaking with a friend, who I have known for many years now and I was sharing with her some frustrations and confusion around some recently events – She has watched me change and grow over the last few years & at the end of the conversation, she said to me – “Selina, you are enough – just as you are! – it is all within you!”

LET”S PRESS PAUSE, SHALL WE! 

In the world of body image and low self-esteem, when we being the search to ‘fix ourselves” thinking we are broken or flawed, because we assume we don’t fit in or we are rejected because we are not as pretty or as thin as the other girl or we feel trapped because we are pretending to be something we are not; We view things from our ‘stories – our past’ instead of looking at what we have become and how amazing this thing called life, really is. When you realise you are enough right here, right now – you realise how often the question pops up……“So why am I not enough?”    

(This way of being has been the default for so long – and yet we keep thinking that something is “wrong” or that you need to be “more” or to be “perfect” – hard pattern to break and the shock of realising that you had the answer all along, is why I had to press the PAUSE BUTTON! )

UNPAUSE NOW!
My mentor said to me over a year ago –” Just allow yourself to be enough” – I didn’t know how to do this at the time.  As I learn more – I evolve – and I do this to be the best version of me – not for anyone else (old pattern) – because it is my life, my choice and I am NOW happy being me.

Yet recently I was seeing a guy, who after 3 months of dating, changed his mind about our relationship continuing.  He told me that I am everything he wants (quote – “you tick all of the boxes”) – but I don’t see a long-term future with you and I don’t know why? 

In shock at this, I asked the question – “Am I not enough for you?”  –  he responded “You are amazing”.  So then I asked….” Am I to demanding of your time?”  – he responded “No – you don’t demand too much of my time; you are the perfect balance’. “So then what is it?”  – he responded with “I don’t know”.  And there it was – in that moment or moments leading up to the conversation (who knows…) – it wasn’t enough for him -(not me) and perhaps he never will know what his ‘enough’ measure is. 

After the shock, anger and confusion wore off, over the next few days I began to move into gratitude and then I started to wonder….how much do we really hide behind the “I don’t know”, is it that we don’t trust ourselves to know or measure what is ‘enough’ within us before seeking it externally? whether it is in our careers; hobbies or food…or it is a way of hiding because we don’t feel enough?And if we really want to measure ‘enough’ – how do we do that? Because really isn’t ENOUGH a measure of space and time in our heads? And isn’t that a thought and can’t a thought can be changed?? (good lesson hey!) 

EMOTIONALLY EATING OF THE ENOUGH

For years – when I thought I was never ‘enough”  – I never felt complete or satisfied or loved for who I was. So I ate – I ate for wholeness – happiness – love – I ate to stop myself feeling the emptyness…the anger…the sadness….the envy – that everyone else had what they wanted…and I didn’t.

When you realise that no matter how much cake or ice-cream or chocolate you eat – nothing that these item will give you, (the 5 seconds of pleasure for the years of pain you are hiding) will be enough….you crave another way….a way out of the cycle of NOT ENOUGH!

You realise that it is not about them – the bullies or the rejection of the job or the man no longer wanting you or the ice cream – it is about you – trusting that despite it all – You are Enough – say it with me;  “I am enough” – because enough is being present within the you, you are. (Ps. Oh and by the way – after the conversation with him – no comfort eating! I was present with my emotions; felt it; acknowledged it and processed it, because I am enough, as I am! Woohoo!!)

NEW LEARNINGS

When you realise you are enough; apologies -when I realised that I am ENOUGH; that I am NOT needy; nor I am TOO DEMANDING or EMOTIONAL or too focused on myself – you are willing to do the work and what it takes to have what you want and you also want the man who has done his work on himself both in actions and words. From here, you move into a new phase of awareness and start to research to understand more about what you have done in your life and to your body in the past and how now to best support it going forward – not just emotionally but physically; spiritually and medically. So let me introduce to you; ghrelin & leptin.

Ghrelin is produced in the stomach, and cues the brain that you’re hungry – important 🙂  After you eat, leptin talks to the brain and says you are full!  However, if these two hormones decide they aren’t ‘enough’ and stop communicating, you may lose the ability to recognize when your body is full & overeat as a result.

The other thing to consider is your Cortisol levels. We live in such high states of stress and pressure causing the body into over drive. Cortisol is designed to spike to provide the body with a quick dose of energy – ie; if you are being chased by a Lion – you would get a really quick hit! However in our world today; with the high levels of stress,  our cortisol levels stay at that peak and the impact that this causes has shown up in suppression of the immune system and weight gain around the stomach area.

You can force or flow in your choices and yet we seems to choose the hardest path because that is what we are taught. I refuse to settle for less in myself anymore and it is the same for thoses around me; including the man I date – I refuse to watch YOU settle for being less than you have the potential for – so yes I will push; challenge; nurture and love you – whether you are a friend; a client or a partner. Because you are incredible…I believe in you.

NOW what if you changed and learnt a new way to define yourself?

What if you and I accept that not everyone is going to agree or like or love us – that is ok – because acceptance of yourself is what counts…it is more than enough.

When you change the pace and make the choice to connect with yourself everyday  – with gratitude and forgiveness – it is not selfish; it is essential – Suddenly you get clarity and things just arrive! Yes there will still be tough times…bumps in the road…glitches in the system…however, if you change your thinking to a new level of desire – I deserve to have what I want – you stop doubting that you are not enough.

Knowing and trusting that your level of enough, is & will be different to everyone else’s, is ok. ENOUGH is about BEING – being you in your skin, on your terms!

SO SPEND SOME TIME EXPLORING THIS –
  • What is my level of ENOUGH? How do I want to measure it? What is important to me? (You might surprise yourself!)
  • Be patient with yourself! It takes time to change and create new habits – change the thought from “I am not enough’ to “I am enough, as I am”.
  • Be present – Connect with yourself about HOW you feel – if you feel anger that is ok – it might actually only be a small amount of anger, if you actually allow yourself to feel it – give yourself space to be in the moment – we don’t have to be 100% happy all the time.
  • Get a good night’s sleep! Research has shown that exercise and stress reduction may help keep ghrelin levels in check – so aim for about 8-hours 🙂 
  • Have fun – Be silly – allow yourself the opportunity to explore the new realm increase your enjoyment; for example: Try Laughter Yoga to make you feel good…not the ice cream or cake! 
  • Love the journey – when you feel content, confident and empowered – you step up with fire and focus!

So my beautiful ones – “You are enough, just as you are!” You don’t need that extra piece of cake or a certain number on the scale or the most ‘likes’ on a Facebook status; STOP settling for less…REFUSE the thought that you aren’t enough and go beyond the ordinary way of being.

I declare that I am 100% prepared to set and stand by my standards of what is possible in my life; myself and my relationship -I am worth it and Now I insist on it! AND my desire is for you, to insist on it too!

I am Enough; just as I am – Whole – Complete – Beautiful- Amazing me.

Ps.Oh and next time someone comes along; he will also insist on it as well! He will know what he wants, with no fear of change or fear of his desires; He will recognises my full potential as well as his own & won’t be afraid to go after the adventure; He will let go of the excuses and live into his standard of extraordinary and as well mine;  He will know that he is more than enough; as I am and that, makes for a pretty powerful combination of forces, don’t you think? 😉

enoughme