Self Love

Starting from behind ….No more baby; I am starting within!

Tu me manques!

I have missed you!

A few people have asked: Where have you been?….I am excited to say that I am here & very much glowing with radiance!

Oh and if you have liked my Facebook Page you will see that my thoughts and words are still processing everyday in my “Memo for Today” posts.

How are you all???? So much as has been happening in the last 2 months for everyone, as for me…I am not sure where to start!!!

Mmmmm…I will confess to you all, that for a little while I did shut down – I know I promised I wouldn’t; otherwise nothing comes from your heart; therefore your intentions don’t align for you; when they operate for others. You once again, lose yourself in others expectations or their process of who/what you should be aiming for in this world.

I have lived for so long with rejection and inadequacy be the driving force of who I am…..and this journey over the last 12 months has shown me this….yet here I was allowing others reactions to my blog….my ideas…my journey….my job; that job title…..my results…my thinking….take preference…I was allowing it to define me.

Somehow their rejection/opinion of me had become important again.

Why was I suddenly so concerned about others; some of whom had no knowledge about me or what I have to say – or for some it was about meeting a certain level (which I hadn’t met yet) would that be all I am ever worth to them? Why am I trying so hard to get where you want me to be, that it has stopped being about what I want?

Some would say that they feel threatened….others would say that they are concerned…..or others have said, stop being so ambitious or why do you keep striving so hard….just enjoy the now….because all of a sudden; I realised that I don’t remember the last time I got want I really wanted……so many promises had been made and broken and it hit my heart deep. 

For me, I have learnt that rejection can shape you…however it is actually a rare thing and comes down to an internal fear……and I got that I have given so much patience and attention to the rejection/fear/others negative reactions to my choices and who I am now and where I am not….that I have decided to stop tying myself up in your definition…..actually…even if you keep going…I am going to ignore you. 

Why? Because no purpose was served before …it might have for you – to lift you higher…and just because now I am feeling more clear in who and want I want to do – your words or reaction isn’t going to stop me…because I am not defined by you or your expectation of me. 

  • I am not a size 10; so if you want to date a girl who is; then leave and go find one. 
  • I will never have the same drive or approach to a situation as you do; so please stop pushing me into a corner – you can’t make a box a circle…it is a box for a reason. 
  • I am not your ex girlfriend/wife; so stop comparing us. 
  • I am not going to chew on a necklace in a photo shoot so give a ‘cuties’ look – I am one beautiful and sexy woman – let’s show the world she is here to stay!

I want to give myself to the world; I want to serve others and to do that, I am doing it to myself first; without concern. For so long I limited myself to the world and to myself because of others rejection/opinion of me. For example – I had written so many entries  and then saved them in the draft folder for later….they were still there today! (well not as of tonight…I deleted them all and decided to combine instead!)

My vision previously, has always been what I had today to contribute; just in my current knowledge. I am this, therefore I can never be anything else! Every-time I come up with an idea; research it – someone else has it – or what if I will never be unique in my message to make the change I want in the world –  OH MY GOD – how f***ing limiting is that! In many conversations of late, I have heard how we often we start something because we are feeling that we are ‘behind’ or need to move forward or to have to prove something to someone or to lose weight because then I will be successful…..

So a question for you – What about you??!!….isn’t your happiness and being a great person in the world

something positive to strive for now? 

I posted up the other day a statement on my FB page – by J.K Rowling – I must confess that I have never read a book by her however I still give thanks to her for being so powerful in her belief in herself, that she could create a new way to contribute to the world. 

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I am a beautiful person – inside to outside – I see that now. I thought for so long that because I was FAT that I couldn’t have what I wanted – even though I was nice; kind; warm; loving and passionate…those who bullied me or were vain or cruel with their actions/words…I thought were worth more to the world; however it is not.

Despite the magazines and the photo-shopping of women; the degrading that occurs between women – I have found now that I have stopped the negative way of living and thinking; I am attracting and surrounding myself with women (& men) who inspire and lift each other up to the next level and celebrate their success!! We share our ideas; our passion; tears; hopes; fears….it is amazing! 

I recently attended with my beautifully stunning friend Madeline, an evening of live conversation with the gorgeous Elizabeth Gilbert; Inspire Creativity – she was so generous – so raw – so warm – so funny and so inspiring – I left the evening thinking to myself –

“No matter what my message is – it is unique and it is mine and it will resonate where it will”. 

Here are a few of her quotes that have made an impact on me – Thank you Liz for reminding me that it is ok to question and be creativity in my own way 🙂 

Our most strident convictions with amusement, or perhaps even pity. (Oh, those silly humans! So desperate for their absolutes!) Sometimes it seems like the only job of the world is to gently (or not so gently) separate us from our deepest assurances, exposing us once again to that ultimate moral teaching tool: humility. Elizabeth Gilbert.

Despite having written five books, I worry that I have not written the right kinds of books, or that perhaps I have dedicated too much of my life to writing, and have therefore neglected other aspects of my being. Elizabeth Gilbert.

So many changes!

So many AHH Moments – new strategies – new lessons – new goals and some even deeper drilling down into my own core to smash through some tough shit! In the mist of all of it; I have been to Sydney & back – working on a EXPO spreading the message of SELF LOVE – oh and also I came 2nd in a photo competition to be the FACE OF WHAT WOMEN WANT! Very exciting – I have also attached it to this blog- i love it!! Then it off was to the Gold Coast to learn new skills in marketing and sales for business with an phenomenal team of business people; started HOT YOGA again…ahhhhh; creating what the next level looks like for me plus I have started working each week with Carl Massy THE HAPPINESS STRATEGIST on the 30 day happiness challenge prior to my course in Bali – 2 weeks to go!!! It is amazing to have another coach and Carl is definitely a force of amazing committment; passion; happiness and diversity in what he offers in his coaching! Here is the link to see more closely what I am up too with him:) 

http://www.worldsbiggestgym.com/30dayhappinesschallenge/

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Over the last few months; as my health continues to improve and my head is clearer and my energy has focus….I have learnt that i can live in to my next level and I am much clearer on that today and will be even more so tomorrow and so on……. 

I am never going to limit myself again nor my ambition on what I think is my today’s inadequacy.

I am one of a kind; I am a very unique individual; there is no one else like me!

It is my creative expression – my passion – my connection – my meaning to the world that I am now working on…..I am of service to others; to you; and I started with me; I went within and that is why I am starting with this blog as I create my way to serve you best.

HENCE my message remains the same…..

Self love is the first kind of love 🙂 it opens up the soul for love to enter from all sources…..

 

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