Self Love

Pressure of Perfectionism

A picture is worth 1000 words…then picture this…..

Image

The last few weeks……the pressure of perfection……it has been there….every second, every minute; every breath – at 2am in the morning I am waking up with breathlessness and at 11.30am in meetings, it feels like nothing I have been doing is enough!

SO then what else can I do????????????????

I put more pressure on myself to be PERFECT – who’s idea of PERFECT???? I don’t know! 

Holy crap – My perfectionism which has always been front and centre – is NOW FRONT & CENTRE & DRIVING ME INSANE! I am guilty as charged – So sue me – actually no…………just slap me instead! 

I have put so much pressure on myself to be PERFECT because that is what I thought would everyone wanted; it would make it easier…yes…that is it….if I am PERFECT then no one will need to worry about me! Instead I have been feeling like I am drowning………..suffocating……disappearing ……I have been filled with so much anger; disappointment; frustration – that nothing was working to make it disappear or to go away – not writing it out – not going to the gym – not EFT! 

So picture this – Confusion City!

I am Good 🙂 I am Happy 🙂 I am Smiling 🙂 I am Loving Life!

For the 1st time in years, everything – all of my dreams/projects/goals/adventures/ this journey; it is all coming together – I am so because I know it is all happening! However then I have this odd sensation and that I need to do more – MORE – and then it will all come together faster!!

However there is only 24-hours in 1 day – 8 of those I “should” be sleeping – another 8-10 I am at work – another 2 hours I am driving to & from work – another 2 I am studying or reading etc – another 2 I am either at the gym or walking etc then 2 I need to eat and groom etc etc etc

So I can only do so much – My pressure on myself to be PERFECT is actually stopping me from having it all; because I feel guilty for wanting it all – I feel guilty because I feel like if I am wanting more and wishing for something different; then I am not appreciative of what I have here and now – and that couldn’t be further from the truth! 

I am so LUCKY!!!

I am so GRATEFUL!!!

I am so BLESSED!!!

However I realised that by feeling guilty because I want MORE; it is actually stopping all of the dreams/projects/goals/adventures/ this journey dead in its tracks; because I am sending mixed signals!!!!

So to clear up the picture and the confusion – There is nothing wrong with being a PERFECTIONIST – I am just learning to how to balance it – I feel guilty; I am human – however it doesn’t have to lead the way. I am someone who doesn’t want to leave others behind – however that is your journey and I am so sorry that I have been trying to live it for you.

I made a choice – I am getting on the train – actually NO – I am learning to fly – to soar – to grown my own wings – it is my time to shine because I want it all and everything I have been through and done – has lead me to this point. SO I am just sitting with it – the mixture of it all – because this too will shift and a WHOLE NEW LEVEL is waiting for me to explore!

Time to let go of the pressure and use it to my advantage 🙂 

How, you ask???? I have no freakin’ idea; however it is going to be fun finding out!  

I will keep ya posted 🙂 

3 thoughts on “Pressure of Perfectionism”

  1. Wow. Thanks so much for sharing. I can definitely relate to this. For me; sometimes I need to have a firm conversation with myself (talking to myself I know!) that I can either burn out by juggling all the balls whilst smiling, tap dancing & singing a song, or I can just focus on juggling the damn balls! 😉 I really relate to your article as it’s a great reminder of where to channel my energies to get the best outcomes, without the need to to cry ‘look at me, look at me, aren’t I doing this perfectly!’ all the time. Looking forward to the next update! 🙂

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read and I am so pleased that thoughts could bring some reflection for you.
      Also thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and your message ♥
      Isn’t funny how our expectations of ourselves needs to have a reality check every now and then 😉

  2. Great Post!! Very relatable. A daily occurrence for me, but I have felt where you are now, unfortunately my cycle keeps taking me back there, so would be interested to hear how you go with the ‘how’ and how it unfolds for you.

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