Trust me, it isn’t a trick question…..someone once told me that people who are more secure in themselves, are most trusting of others.
Mmmm really…????How do you become more trusting of others, when you have forgotten how to trust yourself.
Which brings me back to the question – What do trust and self esteem have in common…..?????
They are both common factors in successful relationships 🙂 ahhh you say…..in all relationships, I hear you ask? Yes – in all relationships; from romantic to business to friendship to self.
Pause……my little voice kicks in – what about the relationship with yourself Little Miss Fabulousness?
**(Please note; that this blog has been saved as a draft for a while now; so perfect timing for this week 🙂 )
And she is right…..because I had been living a lie for so long; little did I realise how much I had stopped trusting myself and how I had kept missing the subtle hints from the universe/my intuition -that then it decided to deliver a message this week, about my lack of trust in myself, which would cause a chain reaction of events – both physical and emotional!
Trust your gut
Or as known by some – women’s intuition – a wonderful thing; been around for thousands of years……for example, I recall from a high school history lesson, that Egyptian Goddess Cleopatra apparently used her virtues of intellect and intuition to gain access to power 🙂
However it would appear that we (Ok, I) have been ignoring it for so long that we (I) have forgotten what it sounds like! I know I did, I recognise that now with little subtle reminders too 😉
This journey has not been easy over the last 11 months and I never assumed it would be – when you have been lying to yourself for so long and when you change who you are for someone else; the truth hurts. Some answers frustrated me because I couldn’t see them right away; others slapped me so hard that I fell down (which in boxing this week; my ankle gave way and I landed pretty heavily on a mental rode from the boxing squares I had been jumping in & out of….consequence, I moved 2 bones in my ankle…..) – what has this got to do with it? Well the realisation that with a situation from my past; even though I had processed certain parts; the one that my “gut”; my “intuition” keep telling me to deal with – was anger. The anger relating to, another relationship that I had given everything I had; didn’t work… again?!!!?????
Which begs the trust question again….however how do I trust myself to deal with it effectively when I have been too concerned about the receptiveness of others if I do get angry or upset or that I am not what they really want and they chose to walk away?
Let’s be honest………….
As some of you know (or others may not as this may be your first read of my blog) last week an interview that I did was released and it surprised some people; because I had kept so much close to my heart, because of the situation at the time, I didn’t trust that I could say what I was going through and have people still there on the other side of it. The interview was raw; real; unscripted and showed my vulnerable side…….big time!
Scary hun!!??? Well for me; no apologies; it was really about time 🙂
So I want you to get, that it isn’t the anger or people’s reaction that I am afraid of….the truth of the matter is, I have put so much trust in people and had it been shattered so many times recently; that I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. Then you start finding other ways to “trust” again; falling into old patterns; however it is all false and still falls apart no matter how hard you try to make i work; because you can’t have one without the other.
Then I started to see around me in people and even little ‘freebie tips & tricks”, that women who get what they want in life, know what their intuition is telling them and that if they pay attention and not just hope for the opportunity,they get out there and grab it – they trust themselves to do it & the results speak for themselves.
My ‘gut’, my little voice and I, are so excited by the realisation that my trust has increase in some areas; but then overwhelmingly frustrated that the other areas are still a work in progress…… So what are you going to do about it?” I hear you ask? Well, my yellow brick road and I are working together, side by side, brick by brick; piece by piece to build up my self trust even higher; oh and even with an injured ankle….upper body and core work is still on the agenda aka it is just a plot twist 😉
3 lane highway/3 lane yellow brick road
I have been reminded of the previous lesson learnt this week, that it is difficult to walk away from relationships (whether they be business/romantic/friendship); especially because of the time and energy we put into them in the first place to create them; then there is the disappointment in others; their actions or lack of. In the dating world, I have learnt that it is easy for some to just disappear and pretend you never existed in the first place or others who follow through and say thanks for your time; ” however I find you intimidating” 🙂 (Ps. Not all dating processes work for you just because it worked for someone else either – another lesson learnt)
Next lesson – when someone disappoints you; try to imagine them as a child – perhaps confused & insecure? – it won’t change the fact however it will have you see them in another light – perhaps allow more space for you to move past the disappointment & acknowledge your own disappointment that maybe you should have walked away sooner or that you need to stop placing so much value in others opinions of you (please note; your inner child might be jumping up and down right now with agreement because they are feeling insecure or confused; some nurturing may be in order too 😉 )
I have learnt that if you are not getting what you need; stop apologising for walking away; HOPE is not an option – it doesn’t seal the deal at the end of the day; and that is what my ‘gut’ has been trying to tell me….so yes, I need to improve on my listening skills too as well as my boxing foot work 🙂
The last 11 months, I have identified where I am vulnerable; and need to pay more attention to “my intuition” around the choices/decisions, including the facts that I am presented with along side my own research; so that I can make the best informed choice in relation to that situation as it stands; because that is all you can do.
Oh and I am going to continue to take the time to think over a choice/decision – people can wait! Even if it is one of my worst traits…..over analyzing everything according to an ex – however I love listening to my ‘intuition’ again and feel so much more alive and confident that trusting myself saves time too 🙂
So yes; common factors of trust & self esteem are evident in successful relationships within my life – business; friendship and self.
Plus I am clear about what kind of relationship I have with myself now more than ever & I love it! And I am going to keep going out there and getting what I want! Because I deserve it and I am having a blast 🙂
Ps. Oh and while all of this is going on, the one that is coming in the form of my life partner; the charismatic man that he is; his relationship with himself will rock, so my ‘gut’ tells me 😉