Self Love

How many times did you open the fridge door last night?

Everyday we are told by the world (& each other) that we are not good enough as we are…..over time, this has a massive impact on our self esteem.

  • Buy this item & you will feel good about yourself…
  • Do this exercise program & you will have this body….
  • Eat this & you will land the dream job…
  • Wear this & you will find your perfect partner…
  • Lose the last 5kgs and everything will fall into place…

WTF?

So then you find yourself opening the fridge door looking for something to eat & grab anything – even though you are not hungry but by the time you have swallowed, it’s too late – is it to shut out the noise? or are you really looking for answers inside the fridge….

No wonder you struggle to get back on track; if your fridge is full of crap – and you eat that because you feel like crap – isn’t that just double crap?

So my question for you is: How is your fridge feeding your insecurities??

YOUR self esteem is your self esteem….no one gets to tell you how to feel, see or hear yourself; least of all a piece of  electrical equipment that keeps your food fresh plus it actually tells you about your past – yes – your past.

What were you thinking when you brought the food? What were you feeling?

All of this has an impact on the choice of food you buy and the choice you make to fuel your body with food that nourishes or food that surpresses your emotions.

My fridge....
My fridge….

I know you are searching for answers.

I know you are frustrated.

I know you have had enough and despite your positive intentions,  the couch is your friend along with the crisps and ice cream that you don’t tell anyone about.

I know you want the overnight magic wand to feel better;  then you will lose the weight – then you will land the dream job, however it doesn’t work that way. It took a while for you to get here and then something happened. You realised that you wanted more & enough was enough…..you wanted to STOP feeling like you aren’t enough. And the reason I know this is because I have been there. It is time to feel your emotions…to take time out for you.

It is ok to take your time to nourish yourself, love yourself, heal yourself – ACTUALLY it is paramount! 

Start by taking 10 deep breaths……then ask yourself; What is it that I want? Then ask; What is the purpose of that? Write this on a sticky note and put it on the fridge!

Then Do 1 Thing!

Everyday do 1 thing that will make the difference, that will make you FEEL good on the inside – then you will get there faster – you don’t have to take years to heal it can happen sooner rather than later.

I know, I know – you want it to last – well bathing doesn’t last..that is why we do that everyday….

So make the committment to yourself, that you will do 1 thing for you everyday that will nourish your self esteem; your mind; your body – stop stuffing down your emotions at the fridge! Even if you change the food in your fridge – colourful & fresh!

You get to decide what your reaction is to the world – so isn’t it time to STOP letting them tell you how to feel about yourself? I know what it is like to wake up and feel lost in the world of ‘I should look like this or that” – however it is so much more fun to wake up with freedom of having my self esteem and my confidence increased by me – you know why?

Because I am worthy, because I say I am….oh and yes I am Fabulous too!

If you want support through this, keep an eye out on this page (or PM me) as shortly I am opening up one-on-one support with me prior to the launch of my online program and workshops.

FOCUS, Mental Health, Self awareness, Self Love

What is your driver trying to tell you?

One of my biggest lessons during my transformational journey, has been realising that my “drive” to be ‘perfect’ – was for all intensive purposes; flawed. And that clouded my ability to accept me for me hence the driver that was striving for perfection, is what had been holding me back from moving forward.

Changing Drivers 

I learnt that it is not about having ‘all the ducks lined up in a row’ – it is about doing the best I can with what I have and sometimes I didn’t have a lot.

This drive to be “PERFECT” has destroyed me at times; destroyed relationships; destroyed jobs; destroyed my body; destroyed my dreams.

In my old thinking – I always thought:

If I just get to my ‘perfect weight’; he will chose me or he will change his mind & come back.

If I get to my ‘perfect weight’; people will accept me.

If I get to my ‘perfect’ high powered position in my career; people will respect me.

ALL of this is BULLSHIT!

And when I realised this – I realised it was time to change drivers.

Because the drive to be ‘perfect’ is the procrastination of the fear of failure…..it isn’t about what everyone else thinks or comparing yourself to them…

IT IS about you ACCEPTING you; RESPECTING you and therefore LOVING you.

Learning to drive in the other side of the car! 

  • 1st step – Stop pushing to ‘be perfect’.
    According to who’s definition? IT was certainly never mine – it was everyone else’s version and that is where the destruction takes place. So sit down and work it out – what is it that YOU have to do to STOP trying to be ‘everyone else’s version of perfect’ and just be your own VERSION- who do you want to be! Get clear with clarity! 
  • 2nd Step – It is about Progress – 1 more step forward than yesterday – 1 more km run than last week – 1 more chapter studied today – 1 more extra hug because you care. Measure your progress against who you were and what you did yesterday – and celebrate the moments of success. Get clear with clarity about your progress goals & log them! 
  • 3rd Step – Decide who you will recruit to your team of support – surround yourself with people who will have your back – YES – you need to have your own – however we are the reflection of the 5 people will spend most time around – Alignment of minds! 
  • 4th Step – Reassess your motivation of your driver – once you move fear to the back seat…ASK yourself WHY is this important? When I did that; I found my purpose. To inspire others to love & accept themselves from the inside out.

Start the car!

You will fail – what is the feedback? You will cry – that is ok; you will get hurt – you will heal; you will love – you will be loved in returned; you will lose & you will win!
And it is all worth the progress of living this life – your way! TRUST me – I wasted so much time being what everyone else needed – “I was dying to be perfect”- then I decided it was time for ME.

My little reminder quote to myself

If you would like some support changing drivers, my next pack of coaching is due for release and spaces are limited- send me a message via my Facebook while my website is in it’s final stages of construction!

Body Image, Emotional Wellbeing, exercise, Fitness, FOCUS, Passion, Self awareness, Self Confidence

Game of Bullshit -you don’t need motivation to exercise!

I get asked a lot – Where do I find the motviation to exercise?

Honestly – What motivation?

OLD PACK OF CARDS

I used to use exercise as a form of punishment; sometimes for 2 hours a day (1 hour in the morning & 1 hour at night – worst part…it was also how I dealt with stress). WE know that the medical world & science tell us that movement is vital to healthy body & a long life – yet it is not just about the movement – it is also about the what is going on in the mind……

The punishment wore many coats –

  • the food I ate to stuff down my emotions
  • the emotions I was to afraid to feel
  • the self talk and blame about mistakes I made at work or results I didn’t get – (code for the old belief – i am not good enough)
  • I was using the number on the scale as my reward

I will stop there….

The thing is – I call BULLSHIT – we all spend so much time trying to use ‘motivation’ to get results -yet if motivation really was the key & it worked – we would just do it! but because we don’t trust ourselves to do what is REALLY important & so we keep comparing ourselves to everyone else, we forget what really matters…Do you want to lose moments comparing apples to oranges – when they are both gorgeous, colourful, juicy & yummy just as they are???

WHEN was the last time you asked yourself – WHAT DO I WANT?

NEW PACK OF CARDS

The thing that I have learnt is that when you trust in yourself & you are inspired by how you feel and what you want – with no comparsion to ANYONE ELSE or their body or their shape or height – you remember that YOUR BODY is your body – it is designed differently to everyone else – and NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO – your results will always be your results – do the work….movement….exercise…the excuses stop & you start to be honest with what it is that you really want!

YOU don’t need more motivation – what you need is inspiration – and it starts with you asking – What do I want?

Where do you get it? 

Well it is different for everyone – for me – I generate myself to exercise & I use others to inspire me to exercise but the best part of cutting through the BULLSHIT is NOW I inspire me.

Feeling good on my morning jog!

MY TIPS

  1. Set goals that FEEL GOOD! THIS is your life – your body  – do what feels good – walk for 20mins 3 times per week….build yourself up at YOUR PACE! My goal is to move everyday – and my min is now movement -5 times per week
  2. Do what you want! (you will LOVE IT MORE!) I used to flog myself doing so many different things – now I do what I enjoy – jogging/yoga/hot pilates/boxing/kettlebells/HIIT & bellydancing once and a while 😉
  3. Chart your movement – I have a calender with stars/congratulations stickers which I log each time I do movement including the NIKE app for my jogging….love seeing how much movement I am doing 🙂
  4. Accountability – I love that I can log my mojo movement with someone – even if she is not with me – I know she has my back -Thanks Danni! Check her out at http://pricelesspt.com/
  5. GIVE yourself time – change it up and make it work for you! Motivation is what it is and is different for us all – for me – I know that I need to generate myself each day – like just a power station that generates and sends out power to the city each day – it comes from within the power plant….it comes from trusting you.

So trust yourself – do what feels good  – this is what worked for me and I continue to review it and change it up! 20mins of movement each day is not just good for your body – it is good for your mind & it reflects from the inside-out.

And now – I am off for my jog 🙂

Body Love, Emotional Wellbeing, Life style, Passion, Self awareness, Self Confidence, Transformation

Isn’t it time to say FUCK IT I AM WORTH MORE!?!

Last week I shared on my private page the following post and the breakthrough I had doing the work with some incredible women who I have had the pleasure of seeing transform!

I realised that it was time for me to rise up – and how much has changed AND what else I need to do to keep moving forward to continue to speak up to ensure that Self Love, Body Confidence and Self Acceptance is present in us all. 

Would love to hear your thoughts below x Thank you again for your continued support 🙂

Hehehe I love how comfortable and confident I feel theses days….corporate wear or my NYPD hoodie…it is a small thing to some…but when you have spent most of your adult life uncomfortable in your skin….comparing yourself to everyone. …feeling like you don’t belong or not good enough…this is a whole new experience for me.

Being comfortable in my own skin, no matter what!
Being comfortable in my own skin, no matter what!

My transformation over the last 2 yrs has taken time, multiple breakdowns, breakthroughs & questions. I have learnt that the more I speak up about Self Love, Body Confidence and Acceptance…..if MY doing this, I inspire 1 person to make a change for their life….for themselves…then it is worth it sharing, being vulnerable and rising up to a new level.

So I plan do so…to continue to do so as much as I can to inspire change of how we as women view ourselves. I want you to be able to look in the mirror and love and accept the beautiful woman looking back at you!

Isn’t it time to say FUCK IT I AM WORTH MORE!?!

Through the power of social media, my blog, soon to be released website, coaching and meditations (even a seminar?) I want to shift the focus of how we think about ourselves so that we can create the space in our lives to live it to the fullest…..we deserve that….you deserve that.

On the weekend, I broke a board with my bare hand and I made a promise to stop holding myself back and make a bigger impact in the world…to rise up for women to have the freedom for Self Worth, Self Love and Acceptance.

I want to continue being the best version of me…even when things are tough, it is not easy but I realised that it makes me want to continue to thrive…..to make a difference in how we value ourselves and who we are in this world.

So if my constant posting of positive and inspirational pictures, memos and learnings makes you uncomfortable or upset…great I am glad because I have given you something to think about…..plus if you really don’t like it then unfriend me…because I plan to be posting a hell of a lot more…here and at Fabulousness Unleashed!

Otherwise please come with me…help me in making an impact for more women to feel comfortable and confident in who they are…it is time to rise up above the bullshit stories we have been told, fed and tell ourselves.

It’s time to unleash yourself to the world…..are you ready? X

The freedom of being comfortable in my own skin is an amazing feeling!
The freedom of being comfortable in my own skin is an amazing feeling!
Body Image, Choice, Determination, Emotional Wellbeing, Life style, Love, Self awareness, Self Love

Soulfulness & Sunshine….

Our world is constantly changing…

Change is constant….

We are changing…

Everyday our world turns, some days have more sadness, others more joy.  Personally, I like to look for the the miracles, the awareness, the compassion & the kindness.

This week, my SOUL needed to connect again to the purpose of it all.

Soul Lesson

As we live, love and learn in this life, I was reminded this week that we can’t control the world outside of us, WE can control our reaction to it – with compassion; love; awareness and clarity.

Your perspective is important as is having LOVE for yourself; from the inside out. This can light up the world – so why do we focus so much on the sadness?

Why do we focus so much on what is NOT working instead of WHAT WE WANT?

Who said that we can’t have it all???

So WHAT DO YOU WANT???

If you can’t answer that specifically then just sit with it for a while…give some LOVE to yourself – just be you; be compassionate…we all have our stories that drive our lives, at times we need to stop and check that LOVE is in the driver seat & not fear.

Sunshine

I thrive in the sunshine, (and by the water)…so this week I took a little time to step away from the computer; to be still; breathe; & just write….write to reconnect into what I NEED to do to take care of my heart and soul – that way I can be of service to others because I am focused on LOVE, not fear, pain, sadness, judgement or hurt.

(I am still writing….so take your time 😉 )

Tapping into the source

I tap into some pretty amazing people around me! So I suggest you do the same – so ask for some support/ideas/time – allow them to step into their power!  THEN I TAP into me 🙂

SO TAP into you! Ask yourself – What is important to you & then ask yourself – What do I WANT? You control your emotions, your reactions, where your energy goes – trust your heart & allow your soul some sunshine 🙂

Reflect, relax, rejuvinate & be clear about what you really want.

This is one of my favourite sayings & I use it often in my coaching conversations. This week I used it as a reminder to be grateful for all the lessons in life – I hope it gives you some soulfulness & sunshine for your weekend as you take some time out for your soul to tap into what you REALLY WANT 🙂 xx

Beautiful reminder.....
Beautiful reminder…..
Emotional Wellbeing, FOCUS, Happiness, Self awareness, Self Love

Light Vs Dark – which side is the real you?

I know it can be hard at times, the struggle between the 2 sides – light & dark.

We worry that others won’t accept us, love us or like us as much, if we show them the dark….the sadness….the pain….the hurt – because ain’t we meant to be ‘perfect’?

Working it out from the inside….
I have learnt that being vulnerable takes courage, and the truth is….it is your story that you tell yourself that stops others seeing the whole complete & real you.

Somewhere along the line I decided that we were just meant to be the ‘one way’, the ‘right way’ – that if I got upset that it was not “nice” and when I compared myself to others, I saw that they ‘never got upset’ – so what right did I have?

However I have learnt that I have both; a light & dark side AND that is ok.

I am both strong and weak, I am both bold & shy. I feel happiness and anger. And once I stopped comparing myself to others, I realised it is my reaction to the world that matters, not the comparison or what others think of me. 

Because without the darkness, there is no light as without the light, there is no darkness.

My point is, everything exists in balance.

The moon and the sun exist in balance as does summer and winter….one compliments the other. It is up to me – just as it is up to you, to be responsible for what you show the world.

Being ALL of you, is your balance to the world. I know we spend so long focusing on our weaknesses instead of our strengths, it is a challenge sometimes to step up and to stop comparing, however it is worth it….to have the freedom of both, the fun, the focus on what is really important – your happiness!

How to change…

Make the choice…

Spend some time tonight writing down your strengths, what is important to you and focus on that! (don’t hold back…..this is your chance to move forward & create a new level of happiness and fun in your life!)

It is ok to acknowledge both sides, however it is time to stop comparing and start to honour who you are – the real you is both sides, because that is when you really shine and step up powerfully into your brilliance!

brenebrownstory
Thanks to Brene Brown for her words!

It takes practice, everyday to generate yourself as a powerful human being – so isn’t it time you started now? 🙂

Body Image, Emotional Wellbeing, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Self awareness, Self Love

Self LOVE, Health & Happiness!!! And everything in between! My chat with the one & only Happiness Strategist Carl Massy

I am super excited to bring you a little something different this week!!

My interview with the Happiness Strategist,  Author, Teacher, Coach – all the way from Bali –

Mr Carl Massy.

Bali_carl_sel
Hanging with the Author himself in Bali May 2014

Welcome, Welcome Carl to Fabulousness Unleashed! I am so thrilled to have you here and for you to share with my readers your story and tips!! 

Background

Thanks Selina – It is always fun to sum up the last 45 years of my life into a paragraph or two. The chronological version is 14 years as an officer in the Australian army, then 5 years consulting to Olympic & Asian Games around the world, followed by a move to Bali in 2007 to set up a Coaching Business, after having studied NLP, hypnotherapy, reiki and fitness training. Plus throw in reading about 500 books on self-development, then writing a book on happiness and one on health, and travelling through over 50 countries and we are getting closer.

But the real story is pain, disconnection, a good dose of unhappiness, and way too much alcohol in order to dull these unpleasant feelings. Followed by an opportunity (intervention) to do something about it in the form of a Sunday night 3am infomercial selling a 30-day ‘personal development’ program by Success Coach, Tony Robbins. So in Easter 1999 I completely changed the course of my life. I took personal responsibility. I sought out and devoured knowledge. I changed my thinking and my habits. I actually changed my personality and as Dr Dispenza says, ‘when you change your personality, you change your personal reality’. I became different and so did my results.

On my journey I have met a lot of phonies, a lot of loons, but most importantly I have met some AMAZING individuals, doing amazing stuff. One of which was the lovely Kylie Ryan (www.mymindcoach.com.au), who did me the honour of introducing me to Selina and encouraging her to join me on my Life Coach Training course. Getting to know Selina’s ‘story’ and getting to hang out with her, has been a lot of fun, more learning, and a chance for both of us to grow. Hoorah!!

Selina: What does happiness mean to you?

I love to get the tough questions out-of-the-way first. Happiness for me is the by-product of the thinking, feeling and behaviours we practice through our days. It is the result of the things we do, the choices we make, and the way we show up in each moment. I can actually generate a strong feeling of happiness in any moment, when I connect to love, gratitude and my breath.

The challenge for me (and all of us I think) is to create a life and lifestyle, which allows us to experience these feelings, without conscious focus. There are definitely things we can do (or stop doing) that increase the duration and depth of our feelings of happiness.

Selina: Can you share with my readers, why do you love what you do?

I love experiencing the feelings of happiness and joy and connection. And one of the quickest ways to experience more of those emotions is to help others experience more of them too. I have also decided that the purpose of life is to fully express our authentic self, in a way that also serves others. So if I spend my time helping others to experience more joy and health in their lives (in an authentic Carl Massy kind of way), I will not only experience more joy and health in my own life, but I will be living a life rich with purpose. What’s not to love about that? 😉

Selina: Please share with us your top 5 strategies for generating happiness & health?

Only 5? 😉

  1. Move our entire bodies a lot more than we currently do (for physical and mental health). Tal Ben-Sharar, former Harvard Professor says, ‘Not exercising is like taking a depressant.’
  2. Mediate daily. Our modern lifestyles demand this practice. Benefits are numerous but include deactivating the stress response and even changing how genes are expressed in our bodies.
  3. Eat a lot more plant-based whole foods, to crowd out processed foods. They are nutrient rich, and absolutely essential for complete physical and mental health.
  4. Consciously choose your goals. Choose goals that are good for you, good for others, and good for the greater good. The better goals you choose, the more fulfilling your life will be.
  5. Slow down and increase the level of your consciousness. Become conscious enough to challenge your beliefs, your stories, your thoughts, your habits, your behaviours, your past results, your future expectations. Consciousness is the best tool to co-create the future of our dreams.

I know I was only allowed 5, but I want to add one more –

KNOW that you have more POTENTIAL in you. Know that you can be 20 times better. You have power that is, as yet, untapped. We all have.

Selina: When we love what we do, it is not work. I would love to know what drives your passion?

I am passionate about knowledge. I love to learn. I love to understand. I love to figure things out. I love to work out what little thing makes all the difference when it comes to people and their results. I love people. I love working out how to improve things. I love sharing. I love teaching. I guess in the end it is my love for all of these things that drives me; so I guess I am driven by the feelings I experience when I do these things. The same could be said for everyone. The more we do those things we love to do, the more passion (fuel) we create. So as you said, discover what you love to do. And do more of that.

Selina: What are your plans for the year of 2015?

Since my passions are learning and sharing, I am on a mission this year to inform people about what it really takes to optimize their health. Most of the ‘stuff’ we are told about health is incomplete or totally wrong. This totally pisses me off! So this year my mission is to share the knowledge I have learned about optimizing health. In The Guidebook to Optimum Health, I have consolidated the knowledge from 100’s of books, my work with 100’s of clients and my own personal health experiences to inform people what they have been missing, and the lies they have been told. Most people (and medical professionals) totally miss the essential keys to health. If you care about your own health, or know someone who is ‘sick’ you really need to grab a copy! (Editor Note – here is the link 😉 http://www.carlmassy.com/books ).

I will also be running our small Exclusive Life Coach Training Course in Bali in June 2015, and a MindBody Detox Retreat in Bali in September 2015.

This was the sunrise one morning while I was at the course last year!!!
This was the sunrise one morning while I was at the course last year!!!

Thanks a lot for asking me such thought-provoking questions too Selina. All the best for 2015 to you and your readers!!

Thanks Carl!!

I have loved having you visit!! Always great to share knowledge and create new networks! Check out Carl’s recent adventures (visiting Brisbane is just one of them!!!) including the launch of his new book over at https://www.facebook.com/CarlMassyPage

Networking in Brisbane March 2015
Networking in Brisbane
Celebrate, FOCUS, Happiness, Health, Life style, Love, Self Confidence

Taking the leap………what’s the purpose??

Lately, people keep asking me the same question…………………

“How did you work out what your purpose in life is?”

Mmmm ok good question…then I find myself asking them back; “What is the purpose behind your question???”….

My Answer: The purpose is not the end goal……. it is a series of actions and results; that continue to occur as my drive to live by my core desire/values, aligns with the world.

Taking the leap……

As we have discussed before…as much as I would love there to be a MAGIC WAND….there aren’t any & it is different for everyone.

For me; I always wanted to help others; however for years I used it as a reason of NOT dealing with my own life; because I didn’t think I was worth having what I really wanted……so I will just give and give and give and one day it will all sort it self out.

(Editor’s note: You can guess of course that never happened….when you ignore something long enough….it kind of stops functioning….everything needs a little TLC).

I didn’t need a SOLID FOOL PROOF PLAN either…(I had a plan for everything…and would set myself up to fail – unconscious self sabotage…to prove that nothing I ever wanted I could get)……..this time around….TAKING THE LEAP…..I had an idea…..I did the work….I breathed (A LOT!!)….I trusted myself (for the 1st time in years) and then I let go (which was the hardest part….HELL was that the hardest part!!)….and it unfolded……

So you are asking me the purpose of it all- well I am no guru like Eckhart Tolle – incredible man! For me….it is MY LIFE – I don’t want to just exist – I WANT TO BE EXTRAORDINARY and be the  BEST VERSION OF ME; to be a contribution in the world, to inspire others to be the best versions of themselves – SIMPLE 🙂

Next question:

“Now that you have transformed…what was the purpose of it all?”

Well….firstly – the transformation hasn’t stopped…(that is why nothing worked before; because I thought I had to ‘get it somewhere’ instead of enjoying the journey); ….or a better way to describe it is Evolution -it is incredible to take in a new view point and gain a deeper understanding of the world…..and the purpose…..well….it is like the seasons; every year they show up and do what they are designed to do………better than the year before 🙂

Ok…Ok…..I know you want more……so here it is…

The PURPOSE

I want to be healthy in body; mind & heart! 

(Yes; I want to look good in size 12 jeans….but it goes way beyond that – I want it all – the connection; I want to feel good too!)

To be the best VERSION of myself I can be!

To stop hiding and live life to the fullest!

What is the purpose of that? Because I want to be fit and glow with vitality & radiance! 

What is the purpose of that? Because I want to live until I am 101!!

What is the purpose of that? Because I have so much I want to do and see in the world! 

What is the purpose of that? Because I was to inspire others to be the best versions of themselves!

What is the purpose of that? Because I want to bring compassion and service to the world!

What is the purpose of that? Because I want to be able to teach my children to be the best versions of themselves – the world is an extraordinary and challenging place at times & they will have have to deal with; and with what I have learnt I can pass on the tools to help learn to be the best versions of themselves; to make positive contribution to the world.

AND the purpose of all of this starts with me taking care of myself from the inside-out, so that I can do all of this and more while aligning it to my core values and passion. AND look it keeps going….for a long time; but you get the idea…..

Packing for the Leap! 

I had to stop running old and not-useful patterns; the same thing kept showing up – I was enjoying my life and my work – but I wanted more…..I wanted to contribute to the world in a big way – I wanted to leave a legacy and I wanted to make a living doing it……however I kept setting unrealistic goals…..so I would cancel the plans….everything had to be perfect…..

I created a quote recently – “Perfectionism is Procrastination in a Prom Dress!”

So I adjusted the approach……Switch the goals…..to a ZONE…..and change your packing approach – STOP trying to cram it all in at once….be creative!

The more I thought about it; the more I realised that, with my new insight and a new level of confidence; I trusted myself more; that even if I didn’t ‘pack it all in the one bag for the journey’, I am savvy enough to deliver & make my life work, no matter where I am.

So what is the trick to taking the leap to unleash your purpose – Unleashing your Fabulousness?

  • STOP comparing – we are all on our own journey – stop letting your ego run the show and start listening to your heart – start focusing on the people around you who inspire you and connect with them – BE YOURSELF!
  • Listen to your language – your patterns are hidden in what you say – your thoughts create your world
  • GIVE yourself permission to give to yourself…..time…it is an incredible gift & it is FREE!!
  • RECEIVE – everything exists in balance – if someone wants to pay for your coffee to say thank you; let them 🙂 (ps. you wouldn’t give back a birthday gift – so allow people the gift of giving; be open to receiving from them & watch it flow).
  • JOURNAL!! Get your thoughts out of your head – gain some clarity; focus; peace….your heart will tell you what it wants if you listen….
  • BE bold – Unleash your dreams…What is your ideal day? Ideal holiday? Ideal home? Ideal Partner? Ideal Relationship?

Your purpose should you chose to accept it; is entirely up to you! 

Walkway through reeds

News!!! It is celebration time this month……Happy 1st Birthday Fabulousness Unleashed!!! and just in time to share with you my recent photo shoot!! YAY! 

Merci to Anthony Maragou for his artist photography for this week’s blog.

Body Image, Choice, Determination, FOCUS, Happiness, Health, Life style, Mental Health, Passion, Self Confidence, Self Love, Transformation

Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

red_riding_hood_1_by_costurero_real-d3abg62

I don’t know about you…….but I can’t stand it when people tell me not to panic!

Really – the last word you hear is ‘panic’ and telling me not to do something – well the rebel in me is going to want to do it because you said not too!

When we Panic – we don’t make rationale or logical decisions…… Panic is an emotional response – flight or fight.

Right now – the fight in me has gone…. and I just want to fly – because you know what…it looks like heaps more fun!

A beautiful Soul Sister said to me the other night – “It is Ok to want to run to your destination as long as it is you running towards your desire and not away from what you don’t want to deal with”. 

Sometimes you know you are on the right path; yet in the very pit of your stomach; you realise that you can’t be everything to everyone and I am choosing not to stay this way to please others. And has I have said many times before; If you aren’t comfortable or like who I am then that is OK too – you can leave at anytime – the door is to your right….just don’t block the traffic.

Lessons from Fairy Tales….

In the past we had Fairy Tales or Fables,  to help us learn how to guide our morale compass. The Big Bad Wolf in Little Red Riding Hood – don’t talk to strangers……(or was he misunderstood over the years and was craving acceptance to be loved for who he was…??) .

How about Little Red Riding Hood; could the Wolf have been her spirit….her internal dialogue? When she wanted to hide from the world…or maybe run free….she turned into the Wolf……????

Everyone has their story and it depends at the time of your exposure to it – how you relate to it.

Recently; I saw the adaption of Maleficent; the Evil Witch in Sleeping Beauty – this version showed that she was misunderstood – a broken heart; a burnt soul; wings of self expression destroyed – it takes a lot to heal that and yes – it was her reaction to the betrayal that created her new persona – yet she also realised that she could control her response – change her reaction and heal……she also, through the learning from another;  was able to uncover what love really meant for her.

So you realise too that; in all of theses stories – power is not evil – you can be calm and feel powerfully grounded – even if you are wrong; you can acknowledge this – grow from it.  Then we learn that when you push against your soul connection and force it to be something it is not -or to look a certain way or to be a certain way that doesn’t align with you; that is when you are turning against your inner desires and things stop working.

So my point is – I was afraid for a long time; I was afraid of the “Wolf”/”Maleficent” in me – and then I wasn’t…. – because the Big Bad Wolf was just misunderstood……the emotions and the reactions I was having – were misunderstood.

mindofadiva

Recent realisation…………a BIG HOLY SHIT MOMENT!

Look lets cut through the Bullshit – I know most of us have something that we don’t like about ourselves – I am not sure when it started or why it happens…..or what you don’t like….I personally think everyone is beautiful because there is no one else like you!

I know some people; they think they have a crooked smile; or they don’t like their nose or they feel that their eyes are too small… And even though we may get upset about our imperfections, they don’t interfere with our daily lives.

However in all of my transformational journey, the learning’s and experience about my feelings around my body; it wasn’t just about my self worth or imperfections that I saw…..It was recently pointed out to me that there is a disorder that for some people their real or perceived flaws consumed them for hours each day and prevent them from living………and HOLY SHIT – I realised that this had been me…..

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).

According to the Better Health website (Victoria government): it can be defined as-http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Body_dysmorphic_disorder_(BDD)?open

“Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental illness in which people constantly worry about the way they look. They may believe an inconspicuous or non-existent physical attribute is a serious defect. Consequently, they may stay at home or keep their appearance hidden. Treatment includes cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) and antidepressant drugs.”

I had been so ashamed of myself – my body – some days I was at a loss of what to do……hence further information advised of……

  • Can’t control their negative thoughts and don’t believe people who tell them that they look fine.
  • Their thoughts may cause severe emotional distress and interfere with their daily functioning.
  • They may miss work or school, avoid social situations and isolate themselves, even from family and friends, because they fear others will notice their flaws.
  • They may even undergo unnecessary plastic surgeries to correct perceived imperfections, never finding satisfaction with the results.

For years; in my head – (I felt like I had the Big Bad Wolf inside of me at times) – there were times that for days on end; I would isolate myself because of my ‘flaws’; and when people said you are beautiful – for me – they were lying; my negative thoughts were out of control and yes surgery did enter my head – I wanted to completely change the defected body I thought I had.

You see the thing is; no one talks about this – not one Doctor when I told them of my thoughts and feelings – the downward spiral; acknowledged that this disorder even existed – I was just depressed/fat/lazy- (Please note; that depression is a part of it; so please seek out support).

It is only recently that I have discovered what this is all about and how occurs for some on a very extreme level.

 

I was also told that “Eating disorders are just more extreme versions of the exact same issues that we all have with eating. Technically everyone who struggled with their weight has disordered eating in some form or another.” 

If you would like read more about what is being done; check out the link below from the USA:

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/ways-spot-body-dysmorphic-disorder/story?id=2502703

Acknowledging the Big Bad Wolf; she was misunderstood……

I am so grateful for this new knowledge and the incredible opportunity to not only heal myself through new techniques; I know it is not an easy process and for others the journey has been and will be very different.

I have been able to create a shift in beliefs; my values and with daily habits of self-love – to move forward….I am no longer afraid of the Big Bad Wolf – she is pretty cool – she walks beside me now; instead of in my head – AND now; the more I learn; the more I can help others through their journey of self realisation.

Look – some of you will disagree;  and some won’t know what to say – all I know is that issues like Eating Disorders/Depression are not something that people talk about – it is almost like we are afraid….afraid that we won’t know the ‘right thing to say” or “what to do” – but you know what – the biggest gift in my shifting out of the fear and into the flight – to SOAR in my life – was someone asking me – “isn’t it time for you??”;  they listened; acknowledged and then showing me the tools so that I could take 100% responsibility for myself and my life – it wasn’t easy – but now; as I continue to learn; evolve and gain more knowledge – there is no looking back!!!

Ps. Including……a photo shoot!! and I can’t wait to share them with you!! Some will be for my website and others will just be for me 🙂

New Chapter….

As some of you may have read; recently it was announced on my Facebook Page of my exciting news and the amazing opportunity that my journey has taken me on!!

I am now working as a Client Service Manager for My Mind Coach…… http://mymindcoach.com.au/welcoming-selina/!!!! Now I get to serve others to help get them where they want to go in life; so that they can love themselves and shine brighter than ever!  Just as the incredible Kylie did for me 18 months ago 🙂

Words can’t express how my life has changed and the overflow of gratitude that I have for her support and encouragement to take a leap and soar!

Watch this space!!!!

Body Image, Emotional Wellbeing, Health, Mental Health, Self Love

What a difference a year can make! Breast Cancer -it picked the wrong woman to fuck with!

Hello Amazing Peeps!

I know, I know!
It has been a while in between written posts!

SO much has happened in the last 12months – I returned to Europe for a month (it was amazing to be back!), took on new private clients, launched my WHOLE BODY FUSION workshop series and found a lump in my left breast.

Yep – you read that right!

36 years old and I received a cancer diagnosis – you have Invasive carcinoma of the left breast. My GP said to me “thank goodness you are healthy and fit and have the right mindset!”

If you have been following my FB page Selina Jane Louise – you would have seen that I documented the journey through photos and LIVE video blogs – so that I can continue to raise awareness around body awareness, acceptance, connection and LOVE.

My desire is to continue to inspire everyone to CHANGE the WAY they THINK about THEMSELVES! Especially women – we need to model excellence to level our lives up and soar!

You desire to have what you want and you do no service to the world by HOLDING BACK!

It is time to stop holding ourselves back!

I was – HOLDING MYSELF BACK – PLAYING SMALL – HIDING and then something happened (Cancer the unspoken blessing) and I realised that if I stop all of that – I am UNSTOPPABLE!

CANCER picked the wrong woman to FUCK with!

I have come through  surgery which is known as a Lumpectomy also called breast-conserving surgery or wide local excision because — unlike a mastectomy — only a portion of the breast is removed & my nipple re-attached.  Then had fertility and have 22 frozen eggs now. I have now completed my CHEMO cycles (which was not pretty & at times freaking scary), I also got to trial the new PAXMAN Cold Cap which for stage 2 breast cancer patients helps to minialmise the hair loss (I cut it off and donated it prior to treatment and went slightly bald on the top during treatment 🙂 ).

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My amazing hairdresser Bartholomew who donated his time to support me

I was determined that CHEMO was to be FUN – and to focus my mind & thoughts on healing, healthy cells, vitality and LOVE! (You had to wear something on your head if you came to see me!) Oh and plus I got a visit from CEO of Icon Cancer Care – he was great fun!

CHEMO sent me into early menopause so monthly I have ZOLDEX injected to preserve my ovaries. I will be on hormone therapy for the next 5yrs with 6monthly check ups.

I am now a STAT – I am only 5% of women under 40 who got Breast Cancer here in Australia -and with no family history I decided to pay for genetic testing (over $1000 and had to sent it to the USA – so thank you COLOR!) The results came back negative to any of the 30 cancer genes that were tested including BRAC 1&2.

SO I am in the 70% unexplained as to why I got it.

MINDSET MAGIC

However – who care about the WHY! It is the HOW I am going to LIVE & WHO I AM going to be in this world with this new awareness! I am so proud of my mind and body for what it is doing to regenerate and optimise for a new level of health & vitality!

I know now that if I had not have done the work on myself…my mind…my bullshit beliefs…my fears…my self hate – then I would not have been able to process and deal with this process as I have! Everyday I meditate and set my intention to thrive! Everyday I listen to recordings to have my cells regenerate! I am also using so many complimentary therapies as well to support my system including Reiki, Chinese Herbal Medicine, Acupunture, Kinesiology, Chiropractic, Body Work, Compounding Chemist and Hypnosis.

I am so determined that my ONLY CHOICE is to LIVE with more passion, more purpose, more power and MORE LOVE than ever before!
I did a lot of release work on myself the night before the surgery and during CHEMO including all my past LOVES and the disappointments that I held onto (my heart sits under my left breast) I have been trying to protect my heart from hurt and I have been missing out on so much JOY & SO MUCH LOVE!

I know now, what I really want!  More than ever that I want it ALL (I have release the guilt and ‘I am not enough story’) and will continue to come from a place of LOVE, ACCEPTANCE and CONNECTION to share my insights and inspire others to make the changes for themselves to SHINE, INSPIRE & SOAR in their own lives. That is why I love my Personal Power Coaching Sessions with my clients, My workshops and guest speaking gigs – because it is powerful to transform and there is so much freedom and peace in it.

 

So….I am curious to know: 
What is it that you really want? 

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Share below xx or write on my FB wall 🙂

Ps. If you want daily MOJO MEMOS then please head over to Selina Jane Louise and follow me.

It brings me so much joy to serve you & if you want coaching – send me a Private Message on FB and let’s see what we can create!

Body Love, Choice, Emotional Wellbeing, Self Confidence, Self Love

What if your feelings were no longer the enemy?

Your feelings & emotions are real.

Your feelings & emotions have something to teach you.

So why do you insist on running away from them? Hiding them? Eating them?

What if you changed the way you viewed them?

What if your feelings/emotions were no longer the enemy?

I know we all doubt ourselves from time to time, in how we respond & deal with life. Some days you just can’t shake the ‘blah’ feeling…

What if we just made time to make space for the emotions? To stop justifying why we feel sad or try it ‘fix’ it immediately? What if we made space & take time to respect the emotions?

For years, I thought that either being angry or being sad – meant something negative.

I am here to tell you – it doesn’t. It doesn’t mean that something is wrong – it just means you are feeling sad. Did you know that sadness becomes peace once you allow yourself to feel it? Acknowledge it? YES – you read that right – you need to allow yourself to feel it as it is, so that it can morph and change into a new.

HOW TO MAKE AN ENEMY YOUR NEW FRIEND

Yesterday I was at one of the most beautiful parts of the world – Burleigh Heads Gold Coast & headed out for my morning jog. However I noticed that on the way back, I couldn’t shake the ‘blah” feeling. Odd – so I did some pushups – squats – still “Blah”.

So I made the choice to sit and look at the view – just be with the ‘blah’; I sat with it, acknowledge it and allow it to just be “Blah” – and then it happened – I started to cry…

photo 1
Love this view….

Allowing myself to just be with my emotions, introduced me to a new awareness. Because I then found myself around in the water with my shoes off, just connecting into the emotions of sadness, frustration, pain  – then the shift happened…the peace followed by gratitude of how amazingly blessed I really am. And yet despite the fact that we ‘seem’ to think we have to have it all together – to have all the answers….YOU KNOW WHAT? You don’t.

AND the truth is as a Coach – I don’t have all the answers for you – and sometimes I don’t have them for myself at the time of asking the question.

What I know is that deep down inside of you – in that place that you are avoiding by eating your emotions or hiding them by keeping busy – you have everything you need within you to do what it is that you need to do for your own happiness, your own sense of well-being, to be your own friend.

STOP TREATING YOUR FEELINGS AS THE ENEMY AND START SEEING THEM AS THE FRIENDS/GIFTS of SELF LOVE.

I GAVE MYSELF PERMISSION to FEEL into it yesterday -to stop fighting. I was recently reminded to do this by the Amazing Caroline Myss at her workshop which I attended the other week – Make the choice to feel the emotion, consciously chose it and then move on.

GIVE yourself permission to FEEL the sadness – the pain – the anger – for 10mins – 60mins – then stop. MAKE the choice to move on.

Honour yourself – Your struggle – Your strengths – Learn to be with the uncomfortable in a more comfortable way – You have other tools, so start to use them. I sat with my feet in the water – it is really that simple.

It’s time to sit down and face your feelings/emotions:

Feel it! Breathe it! Allow it! Shift it!

Feel the emotions and notice the world shift differently & you may also notice your that your physical weight starts to shift too x

STOP TREATING YOUR FEELINGS AS THE ENEMY AND START SEEING THEM AS THE FRIENDS_GIFTS of SELF LOVE.

Choice, Emotional Wellbeing, Mental Health, Self awareness, Self Love, Transformation

Why forgiveness is actually good for your weight loss journey

I held onto fear and anger for so long, I didn’t realise that I was allowing myself to swallow poision…..

Old Pattern

For so long I felt like I didn’t deserve to have what I wanted – after all I was broken, I was flawed, there was something wrong with me, I didn’t look like other girls, I wasn’t as smart or as beautiful as them. My story was that as a little girl, if my dad didn’t want or accept me (the one man that should as after all I was his child) then why would anyone else want and accept – if I was perfect – or if I had been a boy – maybe it would have been different.

I spent so long trying to get other people to like me; love me; accept me – for years…..I kept trying to be everything to everyone – to be someone else – to be a people pleaser – to be anyone but me – the poision was not only the food that I was using to push down my emotions – it was the words I was saying to myself.

Then one day I woke up and realised that this isn’t the life I want – and who the fuck am I?

New Pattern

One of the very first lessons in my transformational weight loss journey was FORGIVENESS.

It was also one of the hardest- I went through and wrote out every name of every person that I was upset at or angry at or who had hurt me.  I acknowledged it – released it – accepted that I couldn’t change the past.

Then I realised that it isn’t about everyone else.

If I didn’t forgive me, how can I stand in this world and make a difference?

I am who I am – unique – extraordinary – lushious – beautiful – silly – caring – strong – stubborn – with weaknesses and broken pieces – however that is all a part of me.
Time to forgive myself – for the self hate – the pain – the anger – what’s done is done – it is how I react to a situation, I can’t change the past.

I could however chose to put the book back on the shelf and never have the need again to open it.

FORGIVENESS

Who I am being in the world? It was time to stand up & be stronger than I was yesterday – to be responsible for me and my present & future. To be FREE to be ME – Because what you think of me is none of my business. And yes, forgiveness is something I practice everyday – with loads more compassion now 😉

So I ask you now-
How long will you do it to yourself?
How long will you continue to beat yourself up?
How long will you hold onto the past, the hurt, the pain?

STOP IT!
Let it go!
Forgive yourself – give yourself permission to forgive yourself,
it really is time…
That’s right…forgive yourself…Now xxx

Ps. I will be releasing a new meditation for sale on self forgiveness in December xx

“The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.” (3)

Body Image, Celebrate, Emotional Wellbeing, Life style, Love

My Thank you to Dr Wayne Dyer x

What an incredible blessing to have him in this world…

The blessing & adventure will continue as we embrace his messages and his legacy lives on in all of us and his family. Thank you to his family for sharing this great being with us all.

This is my thank you to you Dr Wayne Dyer.

Dear Wayne,

Many times you have given me insight & clarity around my life – my situations – my emotions – my reactions and my evolution.

Known to many of us as  “Father of Motivation” – you are the Father of Inspiration to me.

You over came so much in your life to rise up and live your dreams – you created the most extraordinary life – your dreams became your reality!

You remind me to live an Extraordinary Life – because I am Extraordinary Being regardless of the past – I have risen above it and will continue to do so -even on the days when I feel powerless or as you say – my ego takes overs – LOL!

I cried for the physical loss of you from this world – recently you were here in Brisbane & I was unable to attend &  thought – next time. Well, that is not meant to be however thanks to the power of the internet I will continue to watch you on youtube 🙂

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYpN6UX4Ikg

One of my favourite blogs of that you have written was about changing our language to “I am”…..I am that I am – I am as powerful as I chose to be.

http://www.drwaynedyer.com/blog/the-power-of-i-am/

As one of my favourite spiritual teachers – I have enjoyed your teachings, humour & discussions – Thank you.

I know that you are only in the next room & it is up to me to live this Extraordinary life to an Extraordinary level.

Thank you for sharing your journey, lessons & teachings with us all – most importantly thank you for giving me another way to view my life, my body, my soul. Love Selina

One of my favourite quotes - Thank you
One of my favourite quotes – Thank you
Choice, Determination, Emotional Wellbeing, Self Love, Tips

When was the last time you had fun?!

Apparently in my life, I haven’t been having enough FUN!

Ok, ok, honestly….I have been having little bits here and there….but when the little voice in my head recently said to me, “I think you have forgotten HOW to fun????”

You know what, she was right – she was right!!! I HAD!!! I let everything get on top of me – the daily stresses – moving house – packing up everything I own – living out of a suitcase – change of jobs – health concerns – money worries……

I lost sight of the balance…..and part of that is laughter….FUN….you know the type of FUN – REAL FUN! that crazy last minute giggle out of control FUN! oh…and everything in between! Plus it helps reduce stress – (yes, I rolled my eyes….hehehehe)

Choice & Consquences

Somewhere between growing up, travelling and moving back to Australia at the age of 30 – I was told it was time to grow up and get serious and settle down….so for the last 5 yrs…that is what I have been trying to do – and let me tell you – I have been failing miserably…..LOL! well that was the feedback.

So I have decided to start having more FUN!! That is my choice – because the consquence of not having fun is boring, which is just avoiding…I realised that I was holding back for fear of what others thought…..so FUN is in the moment – right now!

I asked myself the following questions –

So what can you do NOW?

Where can you have fun?

When will you have fun?

How do you have fun?

Here are the 5 things I did today! 

  1. I looked in the mirror and smile at myself – pulled some faces – poked out my tongue…
  2. Sent a funny text to a friend – making her smile – made me smile 🙂
  3. Danced around the living room to music – I love the HAPPY song!!!
  4. Found a live free comedy night event – going to head there next week!
  5. Had a coffee in my cookie monster mug in the sunshine!
Laughter is good for the soul....so is sunshine...
Laughter is good for the soul….so is sunshine…

Oh and tonight, I watched an hour of “Friends” with a friend – giggled loads 😉 plus I brought my niece face paints for her 5th birthday, so looking forward to doing that with her too – silly jellybean style 😉

They are simple and easy! I just plan to do them more often and add to list!

funfeet
So tell me what do you do for fun? And what can you do today to make yourself smile?